You can hear his keys in the front door. He seems his usual empty self as he gives a half-hearted kiss on the cheek and then collapses on the couch.
And there it is again. That smell. That familiar scent that lingered in his wake. How many times before you speak?
There are several things that can cause a partner to worry about their significant other – and now a relationship expert has detailed 10 signs worth confronting them about.
Telltale signs like staying late at the office , going to more work events, becoming inseparable from their phone or being less intimate are all there.
Toby Ingham, a UKCP registered psychotherapist and author of Retroactive Jealousy, Making Sense of Itsays that as hard as it is, it’s “better not to be in a relationship that you can’t trust and that wakes you up at night to worry about.”
Here are the 10 signs your partner has a crush on their co-worker and what you need to do to find out exactly what’s going on
Here are the 10 signs that your partner might be cheating on you with a colleague at their work
1. You are no longer invited to socials
Connecting with colleagues outside of work hours can be a great way to build relationships and relax away from the office, but if your partner prioritizes socializing over quality time with you, it could be a sign that there’s more to it is, says Mr. Ingham. .
This could be “especially if you were never invited to go with them.” If you used to be invited to go to your partner’s work drinks, but are now discouraged, there could be a reason for that.’
2. They come home late from work
The relationship expert says, “If your partner comes home from work later, it could be because they’re busier than usual, but it could also be a sign that they might want to spend more time there.” You can always ask them what they are working on and why they are so busy.
“Keep your eyes peeled for other signs you might see.”
3. A change in appearance
If your partner has always been relaxed about what they wear to work but suddenly seems to have changed, pay close attention to the reasons behind it.
The expert adds that there is ‘nothing wrong with wanting to look good’.
“But if your partner seems to be making more of an effort to look their best at work, especially if they don’t when they’re with you, she may be trying to impress someone else.”
4. Protective over technology
If your partner says someone at work also likes the same things, they may be trying to impress them by having common interests
If you notice that your partner is more careful about your access to their phone, email, or computer, you might notice.
Wanting privacy is one thing, but if your partner suddenly has password-protected devices or is nervous about you using one of their devices, that could be cause for concern as they may be concerned about what you might be seeing.
Clearing their computer history or turning off the share my location feature can also be signs that they have something to hide.
5. Sudden enthusiasm or interest in work
The expert said if your partner was “tired of being in the office all the time, but that has changed now, a co-worker could be the reason.”
He continued to say that you should ask them why they suddenly changed plans, adding that you should not be afraid to ask questions as their answers could reveal what is behind this change of attitude.
6. They mention someone often or are silent about them
“A name that is mentioned repeatedly in conversation, or a name that is left out, you may notice your partner mentioning someone repeatedly,” says Mr. Ingham.
Or the alternative could be that they don’t mention someone they used to seem relaxed about, adding that “both behaviors could be a sign that they might have feelings for that person.”
7. They get defensive
If your partner was tired of being in the office all the time, but that has changed now, a co-worker could be the reason
If your partner starts to get defensive around work and gets touchy and reactive when you ask casual questions about their workplace, it could be a sign that something is wrong.
If this behavior is displayed every time you ask them about work, they may be trying to hide something.
8. They have contact outside working hours
It’s not uncommon for friendships to develop between co-workers, but if your partner spends a lot of time talking to one of their co-workers outside of work, there may be more going on between them, the expert says.
He continued, “If that’s the case, suggest you all have a drink as they are friends and watch your partner’s reaction.”
9. Change in work patterns
“Has your partner started planning work meetings or business trips when they never used to?” Mr. Ingham asked.
If so, unexplained and sudden changes in your partner’s work schedule may be justification for spending more time with someone at work.
10. Change of interests
Mr. Ingham gave the example of your partner who reads spy thrillers, but now they read a completely different genre. Or they may have taken up a hobby that they once said they had no interest in.
Whatever it may be, the expert says that ‘iIf they happen to say that someone at work also likes the same things, they may be trying to impress them by having common interests.’
What can you do about it?
Toby Ingham is a UKCP registered psychotherapist and the author of Retroactive Jealousy, Making Sense of It
Mr. Ingham continued that many office relationships are actually more about the “closeness and the time we spend together than anything else.”
He continued to say he would take this as a sign that “you need to pay more attention to your relationship” and find ways to bring their interest back into family life.
And if you find out that your partner likes his co-worker, it’s never a good idea to snoop on his phone or make fun of him by calling his name more around him.
The relationship expert advises couples to have an open and candid conversation to find out more about what’s going on.
He kept saying, ‘If your relationship is something that is good and fixable, then asking questions, talking about what’s on your mind shouldn’t cause more problems. If so, this could be a sign that your relationship is running out.”
Two outcomes can follow; one that this will settle down and ‘that their working relationship will become more professional and less personal’.
Mr Ingham added: ‘When that happens you could expect things to improve in your relationship.’
But if you feel like this situation is a deal breaker, or if it doesn’t get better after a while, Mr. Ingham says that “your relationship may not be right for you.”
“Maybe you should accept the end of the relationship. Hard as that is, it’s still better not to be in a relationship that you can’t trust and that wakes you up at night worrying about.’