I’m a psychologist, here’s why dreaming about your hobby might be a sign you’ve become obsessed

Any hobby that gives someone satisfaction carries the risk of becoming an obsession, be it playing online games, going to the gym, or even sex.

“The warning signs that you have moved on to compulsive behavior are not always obvious,” said psychologist and leadership coach Dr. Perpetua Neo in conversation with DailyMail.com.

Dreaming about your hobby every now and then is fine, but if it becomes a recurring theme, it could be a sign that someone is fixated on it.

Below, Dr. Neo the six possible warning signs that a healthy passion has crossed the line into obsession:

Psychologist and leadership coach Dr. Perpetua Neo (Dr. Perpetua Neo)

It’s important not to confuse obsessions with normal, healthy interests, said Dr. Neo and pointed out that the words “obsession” and “addiction” are overused.

She said: “People will say things like, ‘You’re addicted, you’re obsessed, you’re compulsive.'” “It’s very easy to put a label on someone when they have a new interest, something they’re interested in would like to take part.”

Dr. Neo said when a hobby crosses the line into obsession, it’s often about numbing another feeling, like sadness.

She said: “Obsession is often about someone seeking relief. So when you don’t do it, you basically feel very uncomfortable.”

This can manifest itself in different ways depending on whether the obsession is with the gym, social media or gaming, Dr. Neo – but there are several typical “warning signs” that indicate an interest is becoming unhealthy.

It’s the first thing you do in the morning

What’s the first thing you do in the morning? When it comes to engaging in your hobby (or something related to it, like YouTube videos or a blog), that could be a sign you have a problem, said Dr. Neo.

Is the first thing you do in the morning related to your hobby?

Dr. Neo said, “Maybe the first thing you think in the morning is, ‘I need to wake up to see where I rank on the leaderboard for a game, or I need to do X activity related to the hobby.'”

That’s a sign that your brain pathways around the activity are heading toward obsession, warns Dr. Neo.

You start wearing clothes that match your hobby

When a hobby becomes an obsessive interest, people tend to take up secondary activities related to the hobby, such as watching YouTube videos, joining a fan club, or collecting paraphernalia such as clothing.

Dr. Neo said: “When you’re obsessed, it takes up more of your time: reading about it, doing parallel side activities like going on YouTube or researching it online.”

“There tends to be a lot of complementary activities around the main activity,” explained Dr. Neo. “You read the books, join the fan club, get the paraphernalia and base your identity on it.”

“It occupies your mind. It becomes your primary focus.”

You dream about your hobby

Dreaming about your hobby (or having trouble falling asleep because you’re thinking about it) can be a warning sign that you’re obsessed, Dr. Neo.

Dr. Neo said, “The more your habits are implemented, the stronger your brain pathways become, allowing them to invade your dreams and your thoughts.”

They postpone social events to gain time

Postponing meetings or nights out with friends to find “extra” time for your hobby is a clear warning sign, Dr. Neo.

Dr. Neo said, “If you think, ‘Maybe I’ll turn this down, maybe I’ll open this window, maybe I’ll shorten the other meeting.’ So I can make more time for this interest or this hobby,” that creeps up more and more .

“Instead of just making room for it, you start cutting other tasks, people, and responsibilities out of your life to make room for it.”

You stop brushing your teeth

When an obsession really takes hold, people tend to lose track of the fundamentals of their lives, Dr. Neo.

Dr. Neo said that if she fears a patient is obsessive-compulsive, she will ask if they are taking care of basic things like brushing their teeth and working.

She said, “Are you functioning?” Are you giving up the rest of your life and work for this?

“Do you feel like you are causing harm to yourself or someone else? So it’s an obsession where you don’t clean yourself? It happens! Or you don’t see your friends or your partner complains that your children aren’t being fed?

You use your hobby as an escape

A clear sign that a hobby or interest isn’t healthy is if you use it as an escape from reality, Dr. Neo.

Healthy interests can be beneficial in people’s lives, such as giving them a space to think or make friends, Dr. Neo.

Dr. Neo said, “If something just provides relief and an escape from the world, that’s often not very healthy.”

How to recover from obsession

Dr. Perpetua Neo is a business coach and psychologist (Dr. Perpetua Neo)

Dr. Neo said that “black and white” solutions aren’t always the best answer to obsessions and that cutting back slowly rather than stopping an activity forever can help.

Dr. Neo suggests negotiating a “lucky point” with yourself.

For example, instead of scrolling Instagram for hours, spend 40% of your time doing that and then picking up the book you wanted to read.

She said: “It’s about creating these little rules that help you achieve that happy balance, and not just obsession, black and white, because you have to find solutions that work in the real world.”

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