I’m a psychologist and here are 9 ways YOU can stop being a people pleaser
A psychologist has revealed nine ways you can stop being a people pleaser – from prioritizing your own needs to setting boundaries.
Birmingham-based psychologist Dr Lalitaa Suglani took to Instagram, where she has more than 125,000 followers, to share information on the subject in a recent after.
The psychologist accompanied her post with an extensive caption, in which she discussed how people can please.
She also shared her own journey and described how she worked to get rid of this behavior.
Dr. Lalitaa explained that pleasing people “has many layers,” and that it’s “so important for us to have a safe space to explore these layers and break free from old patterns to live without becoming emotionally connected.” being with everyone around you’ .
Are you a people lover? A psychologist shared nine ways to stop being a people pleaser in a recent post on Instagram (stock image)
The psychologist shared her own experiences and said, “I remember when I started this journey, the hardest thing for me was self-compassion.
“I could offer this to anyone, but found it so hard to offer to myself.
“But the more you keep working on understanding your patterns and practicing in the real world, the more you can change this way of being.”
She also pointed out that change is “not a quick fix,” but rather “becoming a new way of living.”
Dr. Lalitaa has previously shared information about pleasing people, outlining eight behaviors that seem like kindness but can actually please people.
Of the eight behaviors, she cited a tendency to over-apologise and find it hard to say no.
She also said that if you don’t express your feelings, it could be a sign that people like you, just like changing to accommodate others more and more.
Being there for everyone but yourself, being uncomfortable with conflict and taking responsibility for the feelings of others were also on the list.
Finally, she said that the constant search for external validation can be a sign that people are satisfied.
Having previously identified these behaviors, the psychologist has now outlined what you can do to address them.
Her list of nine ways to stop being a people pleaser started with prioritizing your own needs.
She then mentioned setting boundaries, practicing self-awareness, and celebrating authenticity.
Next on her list was engaging in self-discovery, with the psychologist advising readers to explore their interests and passions to develop a stronger sense of self.
Her other tips included seeking professional help, setting realistic expectations, practicing self-compassion, and celebrating achievements.
Concluding her extensive caption, Dr. Lalitaa left readers with a positive message.
She said, “You deserve to feel good about yourself and not gain your worth by what you think others think of you.”
She advised people to “embrace (their) authenticity with confidence.”
She went on to comment, “Breaking the pattern of people-pleasing takes time and effort, but it leads to greater self-confidence, fulfillment, and healthier relationships.
Each step toward authenticity allows you to live your life on your terms, free from the burden of seeking approval from others.
“Embracing your true self empowers you to live a life that aligns with your values, passions, and desires, fostering healthier and more authentic connections with others.”