If a man gets into a relationship that is too fast or too good to be true, he may be dating a narcissist.
A narcissistic abuse recovery coach has revealed the 10 warning signs you may be overlooking that are telltale signs that your partner is love-bombing you, which is a form of emotional manipulation someone uses to make their partner feel attached to the relationship.
These signs may include demanding attention and making you feel like her savior, eventually forcing you to give up your normal routine, friends, and family.
Understanding the intentions behind these warning signs can help you learn when it’s time to take a break.
A narcissistic abuse recovery coach has revealed the 10 warning signs you may be overlooking that are signs your partner is bombarding you with love. Carrie Bradshaw on Sex and The City has been called a narcissist because of the way she has treated men on the show
The warning signs reveal a woman’s narcissistic personality, which can cause you to enter a relationship prematurely and get involved too quickly before the woman uses your weaknesses against you.
A 2017 study Focusing on millennials, it was found that excessive communication and intimacy were positively associated with narcissistic behavior and people with low self-esteem.
1. It feels too good to be true
When a man enters into a love bombing relationship, a man may shower him with an excessive amount of love, care, attention and compliments.
She will give you everything you need to feel worthy, something no other woman has ever done.
But according to Narcissistic abuse recovery coach, Liliya Labontéthis is the first sign that the woman is taking advantage of your weaknesses.
2. The relationship is moving way too fast
If, after two weeks, you and she are already calling each other ‘soulmates’, ‘your person’ or ‘your other half’, these could be warning signs, according to the police. National Domestic Violence Hotline.
Labonté warned in a TikTok video that it is not normal to say these comments too quickly or too quickly to each other.
“The love bomber may seem like the perfect match, but in reality they create a false environment that makes it seem like they are the right person for you,” Tinder relationship expert Devyn Simone told me. Cosmopolitan.
3. She activates the ‘savior’ in you
A woman will activate the “savior” in you with comments like, “Where have you been all my life?”, “You’re the man I’ve been praying for all my life,” “No one has ever made me feel this way.” can really trust you’ or ‘I can really be myself with you.’
Suddenly you will feel like her savior. “These women will always be looking for the PHIL (protector, hero, integrity, love),” Labonté warned.
She goes after “the man who wants to save the woman, the man who doesn’t see the woman as a predator – but these people are,” Labonté continued.
These narcissists are predators and they will view you as prey because “you are coming from a place of need,” she added.
If after two weeks you and her are already calling each other “soulmates” and talking about getting married and living together, these could be signs that she likes to bombard you
4. She will overshare very personal information
When she starts to reveal past traumas by oversharing things about her abandonment issues, or by telling you that she was abused by her father or ex-boyfriend, you’re drawn in and you think, “Wow, she’s really opening up.” open so quickly for me. She really has to trust me. I really have to make her feel safe.’
She may tell you that she has an addictive personality, or that she is on a very difficult healing journey, but that is done to create a level of trust.
You may feel the need to open up to her and share personal details about the trauma you’ve endured.
This is again too early, but what she is doing is collecting inventory from you so that she can use this information against you in the future when the devaluation phase will begin, Labonté explained.
She further explained that the devaluation phase begins when the woman will use your flaws and weaknesses to gain dominance over the direction of the relationship.
5. You constantly receive compliments and appreciation
She will shower you with compliments by saying things like, “You’re such a good father,” “I can’t believe your ex-wife treated you like that,” “You’re so handsome,” “You’re amazing.” at work,” “you are so successful,” or “you have done so much healing.”
These compliments and validations put you on a pedestal that will give you that ‘wow’ factor and make you think that you are so lucky because no one has ever made you feel so good about yourself.
Like a drug, you become addicted to that feeling, making it even more painful when she knocks you off the pedestal you’ve become accustomed to, Labonté warned.
6. Unrealistic communication and attention demands
Her unrealistic demands for attention and communication may include endless texting back and forth, two-hour phone calls, and 2 a.m. conversations.
In the beginning you will be in the honeymoon phase and this kind of attention will feel good because you will be surprised that she wants to be with you all the time and you will feel that your communication is very strong.
However, this kind of endless communication is not sustainable and you will soon find yourself missing your normal routine of going to the gym, sleeping in or spending time with friends and family.
Over time, this will affect your personal life and soon you will forget who you were before the relationship and over time you and this person will be molded into one, Labonté said.
At this point they may begin to devalue you and throw you away, leaving you unsure of how to rebuild your life.
7. Affection and intimacy
You and this woman will be intimate all the time – she will shower you with love and affection, especially if it is something you did not have in a previous marriage or relationship.
Because you shared your traumas and insecurities with her, she will know that this is what you were missing and appeal to your needs before weaponizing it against you.
“If you reject advances from someone who enjoys bombarding you, or if they feel you are not meeting their needs, they may threaten or verbally abuse you.” psychologist Alaina Tiani, PhD shared Cleveland Clinic.
“They want constant reassurance that they are loved and worthy, and this stems from their underlying insecurities.”
8. She will shower you with gestures
She won’t necessarily shower you with gifts like a man would a woman, but she will use gestures like traveling two hours at night just to cook for you and take care of you when you’re sick.
It gives you the feeling of ‘who else would take care of me like that?’ but it is usually done with a purpose.
Unlike men who are natural breadwinners and shower a woman with flowers, gifts and money, women are nurturers and will appeal to that aspect of their nature.
“You may initially feel safe and secure because grand gestures boost your self-esteem and make you feel important and wanted,” Tiani told the Cleveland Clinic.
“But the love bomber’s ultimate goal is not just to find love, but to gain control over someone else,” she continued.
“Over time, those grand gestures are an attempt to manipulate you and make you feel indebted and dependent on them.”
9. She will include you in her family
This woman will very quickly draw you into her family by introducing you to her parents, her siblings and her friends, making it difficult for you to leave her.
Labonté warned that she will use guilt to let you know that you are letting her family down by saying things like, “I already introduced you to my family,” “I already told everyone about you,” or demanding: “How could you do this to me?”
10. Commitment is forced on you too quickly
Shortly after the relationship she will start talking about being in a committed relationship, marriage and living together.
Something bad might have happened in her life and she might tell you she lost her apartment and suddenly you find yourself offering to move in or telling her you have a spare room.
Next thing you know, she’s living with you, maybe she gets pregnant and you have a child and suddenly you’re too entangled to leave, Labonté explained.
How to Leave a ‘Lovebombing’ Relationship
The commitment happens before you even have enough time to realize it happened to you.
“It’s better to walk away, to say, ‘Hey, we need to take up some space, this is going way too fast,’ and just see how these people will react,” Labonté said.
She may tell you she understands and will give you space, but then you get text messages that say, “I know you needed space, but I just wanted to let you know I was thinking of you.”
In this scenario, it’s important to recognize that you’re setting a boundary and she’s not respecting it.
She might say she can’t do this, that it’s “too painful” for you to need your space, and she’ll try to break it off.
“Love bombers also get upset about any boundaries regarding access to you or acceptance of their expressions of ‘love,'” professional counselor Tabitha Westbrook told me. Healthline.
“It’s like a tsunami of affection and they expect you to accept everything,” she added.
This tactic works by giving you FOMO (fear of missing out) and will entice you to return to the relationship.
You’ll wonder if you were wrong about your need for space and you’ll wonder if you’ll ever find someone this great again.
“Listen to your intuition,” Lil said in the video. “Just tune in and your body will respond if it feels too intense, too uncomfortable and too good to be true.”