A psychologist has revealed the secret to her thriving marriage is being able to see other people.
Dr. Lori Beth Bisbey had previously been in a monogamous marriage until she discovered that the key to a successful relationship — at least as far as she was concerned — was dating.
The 60-year-old, originally from the US but now living in Scotland, explained how she changed her relationship style when she realized she was bisexual and didn’t want to “give up a lot of ( his) sexuality”. by committing to one person.
She has now opened up about how she manages her lifestyle with her husband, 66, who she has been with for 14 and a half years – and married to for just under nine years.
Dr. Lori Beth Bisbey had previously been in a monogamous marriage until she discovered that the key to a successful relationship was dating.
She has now opened up about how she manages her lifestyle with her husband, 66, who she has been with for 14 and a half years – and married to for just under nine years.
Lori Beth and her husband both identify as polyamorous, meaning a person can engage in more than one committed romantic relationship at the same time.
Speaking about her marriage, she said: “We were both non-monogamous when we got together and agreed that this was how our relationship would be run.
“We both love that more needs are being met, that we have broader support and more places to be happy.
“We were together for five years before we got married and had other relationships throughout. I have two other long-term relationships.
Lori Beth continued, “We meet people in the course of everyday life. None of us spend time on dating apps. We attended and met people at sex and relationship positive events.
“If I go to a sex-positive event, people talk freely about their relationship situations (and so do I). Otherwise, it’s really no different than how you approach someone if you’re interested in them.
“The only real challenge is finding time for multiple relationships – it’s been particularly difficult to get together with partners post-Covid.
“We have transatlantic relations and travel has become more expensive and more complicated,” she explained.
The 60-year-old, originally from the US but now living in Scotland, explained how she changed her relationship style when she realized she was bisexual.
“We meet people in the course of daily life. None of us spend time on dating apps. We went to events that were sex and relationship positive and met people there,” she explained.
The only rule Lori Beth and her husband have when it comes to dating other people is that they can “veto” the relationship, which she admits can be controversial.
“While it is controversial, we have a veto rule because of the structure we have agreed to in our relationship.
“Otherwise, we practice safe sex and view consent as the key to establishing safety,” she said.
Explaining how they deal with any potential jealousy in their relationship, she said that, in her experience, jealousy comes from one of two places in non-monogamy.
Lori Beth, a certified gender, sexual and relationship diversity therapist, added: “In my professional experience, jealousy arises from insecurity about yourself and a feeling of insecurity about your place in the relationship.
“My husband and I are both secure in ourselves and our place in our relationship, so we don’t really feel jealousy.
“We sometimes feel envy.
“For example, if I work and I don’t have the opportunity to go and have fun, he can.
“Or if I’m traveling somewhere, he would have liked to go with another partner.
“We spend time talking about our feelings, which makes it safe to express them.
“Then we will look at whether any behavior needs to change,” she explained.
But Lori isn’t the only dating coach advocating polyamory.
Dr. Tara Suwinyattichaiporn is one of the sex experts featured on the reality dating show Celebs Go Dating.
She has been in a three-year relationship with artist Brent Estabrook and both are allowed to sleep with others as long as they follow the strict rules they have in place.
But Lori isn’t the only dating coach who is an advocate for polyamory as Dr. Tara Suwinyattichaiporn is also a fan.
She has been in a three-year relationship with artist Brent Estabrook and both are allowed to sleep with others as long as they follow the strict rules they have in place.
From the beginning, they were very open with each other about their sexual preferences.
Couple’s boundaries include not kissing strangers, not having sex with close friends, always using protection, and making sure no emotional attachments are created during sex.
Although she knows other polyamorous partners who have emotional relationships outside of their primary relationship, the couple agreed it wouldn’t be for them.
The subject of polygamy may still be taboo, but Lori believes that in 10 years it won’t be.