I’m a lucid dreamer – and I use it to stay in touch with my late grandfather

Lisann Valentin had just moved to New York and was feeling stressed when she first met her late grandfather in a dream.

Valentin, who was then forty and an actor and writer, had been a “lucid dreamer” all her life – someone who was aware that he was dreaming and could sometimes control what was happening.

The practice of lucid dreaming is central to spiritual practices such as Tibetan Buddhism and meeting her grandfather provided a spiritual awakening for Valentin.

Valentin said she felt conflicted about her decision to live in a new area four years ago when her grandfather appeared to her.

She said, “When he came to me in the dream, he showed me the possible outcome of my decision to stay in the area, and everything looked positive.

‘The images appeared as symbols, and I relied on my feelings to interpret them, and we had conversations where I could hear him talking, but I couldn’t see his mouth moving. It almost felt like telepathy.”

She said that her grandfather repeatedly appeared to her in dreams and showed her various dream symbols to communicate with her.

He showed her flowers, which Valentin took as an indication to “stay the course” in her decision to move — and to explore her Puerto Rican heritage.

She said: ‘The meaning of dreams has always been very strong in my family and everyone went to my grandfather (we called him ‘Papito’) to help them determine the meaning. I learned a lot from him.

‘If my grandfather presents me with flowers in a dream, and the feeling I have around them is full of love and joy, then my association with receiving flowers as a gift is a beautiful symbol.

“I know something great will happen based on what that symbol means to me and how I feel in the dream.

‘Moreover, I write down the dream as soon as I wake up, because in that state of presence I can honestly determine what the dream means to me. Since the death of my grandfather, I have trusted that inner knowledge.’

Other symbols are more ominous.

She said: “On the other hand, if someone is about to die, I get different symbols showing when that might happen. This can be depressing, but it helped my family be with loved ones before they passed away.

“He helped me support my family when another family member was about to cross.”

‘The dream about impending death had clues that went beyond the dream. In this dream with my grandfather he was in the kitchen cooking and the food was ash.

‘He then put his thumb on my forehead and turned away. I had an ominous feeling.

“When I woke up, writing down the dream, I realized that in a few days it would be Ash Wednesday.

‘I looked at my phone and got a notification that my great aunt had just entered the hospice. And at that moment I knew she was going to transition on Ash Wednesday.”

Lucid dreaming has been extensively studied by scientists, with a 2017 University of Adelaide study showing that techniques such as regularly checking to see if you’re dreaming and waking up after five hours can help induce lucid dreaming.

The scientists found a 17 percent success rate in inducing lucid dreaming in a group of volunteers.

Valentin says she has had lucid dreams since she was eight years old – and before her grandfather’s death, had a dream that was a premonition.

She said: ‘I once dreamed that I was giving a speech on a stage. I became aware that I was standing on a stage in black, the place was beautiful, but it felt sad to me. I didn’t like it.

“A year later, when I delivered my grandfather’s eulogy, I had déjà vu on that stage; it was the moment from my dream.’

Her dream experience convinced her to explore her Puerto Rican heritage — she says her grandfather was a “curandero,” or shaman.

She said, “Puerto Rican culture is a blend of European, African and indigenous Taino influences. Many of our traditions have been blended and hidden over time, yet the practices persisted.

“Every Saturday at my family’s home I learned from my mother, grandfather, his mother and his grandmother, all of whom were Curanderos or Curanderas.”

She said: “My dream meeting with my grandfather gave me more confidence to embrace the opportunities that were manifesting in my life because the overall journey felt positive.

“Although I couldn’t have anticipated every detail of what would happen, I knew with certainty that moving on was the right decision for me, and it has proven to be so. It even led me to become a spiritual coach, which I had not thought about before.’

Since then, she has had other dreams in which she was contacted by the dead – including one in which she found herself in an “alien oasis” where she heard a familiar voice from a friend’s deceased mother.

She said: ‘I heard her voice clearly as she gently assured me that she was happy and just resting. Later I passed on the message to her family.

In another dream she said she met a taxi driver, who she thinks could be God.

Valentin says her “key” to lucid dreaming is not to “force” anything and have no expectations about what will happen.

She recommends not drinking alcohol and practicing mindfulness activities during the day, such as meditation.

I’ve been dreaming since I was little; for me it comes naturally, but other people need to train these skills,” she said. ‘To practice lucid dreaming, try this: Place a glass of water next to your bed. Before you fall asleep, look at the glass and decide that you will encounter it in your dream. Once you are asleep, see if the glass appears in your dream.

“If so, drink the water and record the feeling. This exercise can help you realize that you can manipulate your dream environment, bringing you closer to normal lucid dreaming. Remember that mastering this skill takes time and patience: I would try this at least three times.’

Valentin says that people she speaks to often worry that they “may not return from lucid dreams – and overcoming this fear is the key to entering the lucid dream state.”

She said, ‘Decide that you will always come back. People often fear that they will disappear and never return; they fear that they will get lost in the dream state and not be able to return to their body. This is not true.’

She says that your goal in lucid dreaming is to become an observer.

She says, “You can have prophetic dreams, astral travel dreams or full-blown OBEs (out-of-body experiences). The more aware you are in waking life, and the more present you are in this reality, the more you prepare your dream life to create lucid experiences that will support your daily experiences.