I’m a gypsy and I’d never marry a settled man – I couldn’t be bothered with all the hassle

A woman from the gypsy community has taken to social media to explain why she would never date a non-traveler, otherwise known as a “country man.”

Charlotte Ann, 29, based in Peterborough, creates TikTok videos denouncing misconceptions about Gypsy culture.

Past videos she’s posted include ‘What’s Dating Like for Gypsies and Travelers? and ‘What is the difference between Gypsies and Travelers?’

In this video, Charlotte answered the question whether she would ever marry a man outside her culture – it was in response to a comment from a follower who asked, “Would you marry an established man?”

At first she joked, “I don’t know if this is a marriage proposal or just a simple question, I don’t know which one it is right now, but we’re going to answer it because I’ve been asked a few times before.” ‘

Then she answered the question and said, “No. That’s the short answer. The short answer is no.

“I’m going to explain before the Karens get into the comment box and say, ‘Well, you talk about equality, you talk about oppression. But you say you wouldn’t marry a country man.’ Yes, and I’ll tell you why.

‘I’m traditional. Am I 100% traditional? No. I’m single at home at 29, so no, I’m not 100% traditional, but no one is 100% traditional anymore because it’s 2023.”

She continued, “I prefer to marry my own kind, be it a gypsy or a traveller. I’m half gypsy, half traveller, so in my culture I’d marry one or the other.’

Charlotte said she believes marriage and life are “hard enough without being so different,” describing travelers and non-travelers as living in “two different worlds.”

The 29-year-old added: “No one realizes how different your culture is from mine and I just can’t fathom the hassle of that.”

An example she used was the concept of pocket money, saying that in her culture you “don’t do pocket money,” so she’s not sure what she would do if she married a “settled man” and their children asked for it .

She continued, “There are so many things that are different and I just couldn’t deal with that. I don’t want to have to explain who I am to the person I’m going to marry.

“I know a traveling man wouldn’t know me 100%, but at least they would know me in a way.

“There is no explanation of who you are on the first date. I don’t need to tell him the basics, because he should know, because he’s a traveler too.’

She ended her thoughts and ended the video by saying, “So no, I don’t care about any of that and it’s not me.”

“I think the best games are games where people start on a level playing field.

“I don’t want to teach them my manners, I’m not Pocahontas, you’re not Captain John, I just don’t have the time or the energy.”

Many people in the comments shared their own stories and agreed with Charlotte’s reasoning.

One person wrote ‘agree 100% if you’re not equal to begin with then it’s probably bumps’ while another added ‘as someone whose parents are two very different cultures I think it’s good to be with the same culture because it doesn’t create any barrier between them.’

Another added, “I don’t think there’s anything wrong with wanting to be with someone who understands and shares your culture.”

Not everyone is on the same page, though – one person wrote, “I’m a traveler married to a country man and there’s no difference,” to which Charlotte replied, “That’s an outright lie.”

Another comment read, “I like the way you behave, may I ask though what if a country guy likes to adopt your culture 100%?”

‘I have a friend (country man) who fell in love with a local lovely gypsy girl and adopted her and her family’s way of life, they are now married and have children. The sweetest couple there.’

Charlotte replied, explaining that she considers that “selfish” and that someone “shouldn’t change who they are” to love them.