I’m a dating expert – here’s the 8 red flags that show you could be dating a narcissist

Even the kindest, most caring people can be selfish sometimes, but could the person you’re dating be a narcissist without you even realizing it?

Fortunately, a relationship expert has revealed the eight red flags to watch out for – from your partner being ‘too attentive’ to ‘turning everything on you’.

Tina Wilson, British founder of Wingman, told FEMAIL how nNarcissistic traits include having an unreasonably high sense of their own importance and seeking attention and admiration.

In dating, a narcissist often fails to care or understand their partner’s feelings which can cause the relationship to fall apart, according to a dating expert. But spotting the signs early can save any heartache.

Here Tina reveals the eight most important warning signs that indicate that your new love may be a narcissist…

1. They are very attentive

Tina He warns against dating someone who “feels too good to be true,” explaining: “We all have our own quirks that make us human, but a narcissist will often attract their victims by being everything they think their new partner wants.”

“This includes being attentive, caring, a little jealous, always being present or thinking of you, and even answering texts and calls when you need them. But beware, this doesn’t last long.”

She added that it should not be confused with the honeymoon phase “when you are both eager to see each other and communicate non-stop.”

“This sounds more self-serving and caters to their needs than yours or your blossoming relationship,” Tina insisted.

“If things seem too good to be true, don’t immediately ring alarm bells but pay close attention to their actions to see for sure which direction things are going.”

“I’m not saying get rid of them now, but keep your guard up and keep going with your eyes open.”

2. They always give themselves admiration from a third party

“Be careful if they say ‘people say I’m great’ because the narcissist likes to constantly tell tales about how great they think people are or how they are celebrated,” the relationship expert said.

“These sayings flag the biggest red flags – ‘My boss says I’m the best’, ‘People like me’ – all of these comments are made to reinforce their belief system because they truly believe that if they say it, it will be so. So.

“Try turning the tables and see what happens.” Talk about your own accomplishments or experiences and see how your new partner reacts.

“If a conversation suddenly has a magical way of putting them back in the spotlight, they’re probably exhibiting narcissistic behaviors and not celebrating you.”

3. They are never wrong

“Stop and pay attention if you find yourself second-guessing your belief system or your version of events,” Tina said.

She claimed that a “true narcissist” would never admit his mistake. “If someone asks what they are saying; they will be met with an attacking or spiteful response, and will usually put you down, until they feel better,” the dating expert added.

“A healthy relationship should bring out the best in you and not bring any insecurities or feelings that you don’t agree with or are belittled to the surface.

“Ask yourself if you feel like you are changing for them but at the expense of yourself?” Taking time for self-awareness is key to assessing your version of events, the emotional impact on you and whether your health is at risk.

“Spending some time to put things into perspective will help you think clearly and determine whether your new love is in fact displaying narcissistic behaviors.”

4. They highlight you

“Narcissists will try to make you dependent on them because their opinion of themselves is so inflated that they feel the attention they give you will secure you,” Tina insisted.

“Then they start showing their true selves and start criticizing your behavior or the way you dress to make you question yourself.

“If you dare bring up one of these conversations they’ll turn it around and say they never said that or that you’re too sensitive. In the world of dating apps, we call this gaslighting.

“If you feel like things are moving toward gaslighting territory, reach out and set your boundaries early and see if there are any positive changes.”

“Trust your friends and family as soon as possible.” Maintaining a support network is really important because it is common for people who find themselves in a relationship where there is gaslighting, to often withdraw from friends and family.

5. They seem to live in a fantasy world

Tina said: “Do they tell you some great stories about their jobs or relationships that all seem so believable and true that when you first meet someone you would never suspect, why would they lie?”

“But if you question the veracity of such claims, it leads to an inappropriate and explosive reaction.” Showing hopes and dreams is one thing, but living a fantasy life that proves to be fantasy is a huge cause for anxiety.

“Handle the situation calmly and intelligently. Show curiosity without abandoning skepticism and listen clearly to what they answer.

“You want to avoid answering defensively but also address any concerns strategically to understand why you are exaggerating or lying.

“Social media can be helpful when getting to know someone new, and if there is no online presence, again that should ring alarm bells.”

6. They turn everything against you

“Projection is a very obvious and direct sign that you might think you’d spot right away, but many of us have been tricked into thinking we’ve upset or hurt the narcissist when we haven’t,” the dating expert explained.

“Because they tell us how cold and unloving we have been lately, when in fact that is exactly the behavior they are displaying and not the other way around.

“Be aware that projection in relationships can be a manipulative tactic to get things back on you. Go with your own instincts.

“If they keep accusing you of annoying them when in reality there is no basis for their accusations, you are probably dating a narcissist and should walk away. You can never change them because they see themselves as perfect.”

7. They are the king/queen of the castle

“Ego is out of balance.” “A lot of successful people have slightly inflated egos but not a god complex, but the narcissist thinks he’s special and that no one will ever measure up to him,” Tina said.

“So they’ll work their way through partners, and when they’re no longer useful, they find another partner who doesn’t question their lies. They’ll cut you off.”

“Find out if you’re at the end of a long line of people you’ve dated.” If they keep nagging their partners because they clearly can’t keep their egos in their back pockets, accept that you are number two and eventually be emotionally prepared when they are likely to cut you off next.

8. You’ve stopped listening to your friends

“If you show signs of withdrawal, your friends will notice that the narcissist often makes us question our behavior and doubt ourselves,” Tina warned.

Remember, the classic sign of a narcissist is that they encourage you in any way they can to withdraw from your friends or loved ones, all for their own benefit.

“It’s normal, especially in early relationships, to spend more time together as a couple as you get to know each other, but have you stopped listening to the voice advice around you?” Did you close them? Do you feel your behavior is changing? These are clear warning signs. Friends know us well, and if they are true friends, they only want the best for us.

“Remember that your friends really know you better than anyone else, and when you’re in a relationship, if your friends say your partner is controlling or wonder why you don’t seem like yourself, they want to help. Don’t push them away, talk up, that will help.”