Drew Sollenberger with three of his biological children
A 38-year-old asexual man from Maryland has fathered more than two dozen children and counting — without ever having sex.
Virgin Drew Sollenberger has been a prolific sperm donor for 16 years, leading to 25 successful pregnancies for women across the country.
The software engineer realized he was aromantic, meaning that at about age 22, he felt little or no romantic attraction to either sex.
But ironically, he has always wanted to be a father since he was a teenager.
His love for children began when his older sister became pregnant at the age of 18, and he spent a few years helping to care for his nephew.
“I realized I really loved kids,” he told DailyMail.com. As soon as he could, he started volunteering with children.
“My only real complaint was that the volunteer work I had was more of a short-term one. I would watch a child for a day, I would be involved in this activity and the child would move on with their life.
“It was fun, but I wasn’t sure it would have long-term impact — the kids wouldn’t remember me.”
But his urge to become a father clashed with his sexuality.
Mr Sollenberger said: ‘I’ve just never dated anyone, never wanted to, never met anyone I’m even remotely interested in, which I’m fine with, but that means not having a nuclear family, not becoming a traditional father. And that upset me.
“It took me half a year to say to myself, it’s okay, I can still volunteer, it’s good enough, but it still bothered me.”
The 38-year-old from Maryland realized at about age 22 that he was aromantic, meaning he felt little or no romantic attraction to either sex, but he still really wanted to be a father
Mr Sollenberger considered fostering or paying for a surrogate mother but decided the latter was not an option as he said he donates all his money to charity.
He told DailyMail.com, “I could, but I won’t. That’s multiple lives that could be saved with that money instead; it’s not a good use of money.’
He then stumbled upon Known Donor Registry, a website that connects alternate families and infertile couples with sperm donors, and also joined the Facebook group Sperm Donation USA because “that’s what everyone uses.”
Now he is in regular contact with eight of the children he helped father, seeing them about once a month to hang out at their house or go to the beach.
‘I originally wanted a lot of contact (with the children). I came back to that for several reasons.’
Mr Sollenberger said his motivation for donating has changed “completely” from “donating because I wanted to have children I could relate to to donating because women needed more committed donors.”
He also started asking for less contact because he realized that women lied to him.
“People will just lie to you and say they want to interact when they don’t. So it’s better to tell them, I’ll give you what level you want so you tell me what you really want, instead of me getting my hopes up and then letting them shoot over and over again.”
Sperm donation has been around for over 60 years, with the opening of the first sperm banks in the 1960s. But prices have skyrocketed over the years, creating an underground sperm market.
Mr. Sollenberger drove up to three hours to give his semen in a cup to same-sex and heterosexual couples who couldn’t conceive naturally.
The fact that he is a virgin seems to work in his favor. He said that women, especially those with male partners, prefer to know that he is not having sex.
Mr. Sollenberger also has a YouTube channel where he gives advice to people who want to have children through sperm donation
Mr Sollenberger spoke to DailyMail.com after returning from a week spent with two of his biological daughters, whom he refers to as his ‘goddaughters’.
He can see of his children, the eldest is nine and the youngest is one and a half years old.
He said, “Virtually all the kids call me Uncle, except the two who call me Godfather, which is practically the same relationship under a different name.”
Mr. Sollenberger is legally the caretaker of his children if both parents die for two families.
“But in general I am the uncle. I’m the nice guy who comes to play with them, usually about once a month. Some people have given me permission to come more often, but I try not to come more than once a month.’
“I’m now trying to make the recipients the primary driver to donate.”
Mr Sollenberger said his parents support his decision to donate.
“My father has been surprisingly quiet about the whole affair, which I am shocked about. He is a pessimist at heart. The very first thing he said was, “They’re just doing this for child support.” I told him we’re getting contracts and he was like, okay, then he’s done with it.’
He said his mother struggled at first with the fact that she couldn’t know more about her biological grandchildren.
“I think it’s a bit of a culture shock (for my mom) to meet the interracial kids of the lesbian couple whose mom is all for trans rights and thinks BDSM is cool.”
Mr. Sollenberger has a “golden rule” that he tries to teach all his children.
“Someone should be able to do what makes them happy, as long as they don’t hurt anyone. Even if you find it strange or bizarre.’