Rowena Calderwood was raised by an anorexic mother who believed that being overweight was a character flaw to be avoided at all costs.
She hissed at Rowena when she ate or when her body changed shape and loudly criticized everyone she saw, analyzing their physique.
For more than two decades, Rowena, now 39, has seen herself through that lens — from the point of view of a mother so mentally unwell that she believed the only thing she had control over was what she put into her body.
It wasn’t until Rowena hit rock bottom and found herself stealing leftovers from abandoned plates in cafes that her views on food and health changed.
Speaking to FEMAIL, the young mother, who now calls the Gold Coast home, revealed how she put her difficult childhood behind her to build a successful business that gives back to Australia’s Butterfly Foundation.
Rowena Calderwood is the founder of The Butterfly Effect, the CrossFit style even for women that raises money and awareness for the Butterfly Foundation
Rowena has often struggled to see her rocky start as just that.
“It’s hard because it’s normal to compare it to something worse,” she said.
“But I remember growing up and thinking it was scary but normal.
‘It wasn’t until I got much older that I realized how abnormal it was, but by then there was nothing I could do about it.’
Her mother was a drug-addicted alcoholic. She was anorexic and suffered from manic depression.
“She would be doing well and she would be on a lot of medication, but then decide to stop taking it,” she explained.
Rowena, pictured with her son, describes her childhood as scary. She says her mother cared about her slim figure more than anything and taught her children to do the same
Rowena’s mother was born into a powerful Iranian family, one step away from the royal family.
Her father served directly under the king and so she grew up in the palace, surrounded by wealth.
When the army staged a coup in August 1953, she was forced to flee to Britain with her father.
Here they lived a much more modest life. Rowena’s young mother met her father, a man from humble beginnings, and became pregnant. She eventually had two children.
She never adapted to this ‘poverty’, after that it only got worse.
“When my grandfather died, all his assets were seized, leaving my mother with nothing,” she said.
Growing up in a palace taught her mother that appearance matters above all.
“She literally went from riches to rags, that was the start of her poor mental health,” Rowena said.
As she learned to navigate Britain as an ordinary citizen, she seized on it and became obsessed with her weight.
‘The only thing she had control over was what she ate and what she didn’t. She survived on coffee, cigarettes, drugs and alcohol,” she said.
Rowena grew up watching her mother’s disdain for anyone who was out of shape and did her best to avoid becoming a target.
“I ignored no one of any importance except myself. “I believed I wasn’t good enough when I sat down and there were bits hanging off the side,” she said.
She didn’t want to disappoint her mother by gaining weight and started to see her body as a problem.
“I eventually unlearned it, but I looked at people the same way for a long time,” she said.
And Rowena did that for a long time. Then she became homeless and destitute, which forced her to think differently about food and bodies. Now she wants to help others do the same
Rowena left home at the age of 15 and landed in Australia at the age of 21.
When she was 23, she had no money, no job and no one to help.
“This was the time before the iPhone. I was living in a tent and started thinking about things. About the comforts I used to take for granted, like sheets or a chair,” she said.
She lived on bread and jam for weeks. Eventually, she was so hungry that eating became her top priority.
“I remember walking past a cafe one day and stealing a sausage,” she said.
“And it made me think about everything I’d learned about appearances.”
Rowena’s way of thinking about food began to change and she realized how important it was to fuel her body properly.
She also came to accept the social importance of a meal.
Rowena leads the Butterfly Effect – an event that inspires the movement and spotlights the work of the Butterfly Foundation
Rowena became a PT after recovering from her low point – this helped her get over her trauma – proposed to a woman from an event
But the young woman’s low point was yet to come.
She had gotten so bad that her tooth was crumbling in her mouth. She was in a lot of pain, so she decided to hitch a ride to the Gold Coast, where she got a job in a call center.
Rowena worked there for eight years, early on the boss gave her an advance to fix her tooth, and she had a steady income while she figured out the next phase of her plan.
While living on the Gold Coast, she further developed her knowledge of food and discovered fitness. This changed her life. She had never trained before.
After going to the gym for a few months, she decided to become a PT.
Over the next few years, she bought and sold gyms before setting up one of them’s Butterfly Effect event.
“Women would come to the gym and tell me their goals – it was always to get stronger or to look like someone or something,” she said.
‘It was never about improving their health or longevity. Which I thought was really sad.
“I wanted to bring women together, to focus on something bigger than what they look like.”
She realized that everything her mother had taught her about bodies, appearance and womanhood was distorted by her own traumatic story – suggested a woman from her event
She said people like her mother, and those who perpetuate similar beauty standards, have a lot to answer for.
‘You see these women on Instagram pulling up their tops to show their stomachs to promote health. But in reality they are not healthy, many of these women do not have periods and it always comes up that they have suffered from some kind of eating disorder,” she said.
“It’s a crooked thing to aim for.”
Rowena in 2019 – she started her Butterfly Event in 2016 after seeing too many people with unrealistic demands on their bodies
The Butterfly Effect is a Cross Fit Games-style event where female ‘athletes’ and their friends, who may or may not be so sporty, work on a series of demanding physical tasks.
The tournament started in 2016, where Rowena hosted 80 teams, and has continued to grow since then.
In 2018, Rowena took on a business partner, Karly Kentwell, who she credits with being instrumental in the company’s tremendous growth.
Rowena with her business partner Kelly – who has helped grow the event since 2018
Now they organize the event in all major cities in Australia, as well as in Great Britain.
1,400 women worldwide will participate in this year’s event.
“This year the Gold Coast event with 275 teams of two and 1000 spectators sold out in four minutes,” she said.
Rowena’s events raise money and awareness for the Butterfly Foundationan organization with a focus on eating disorders, body image and mental health.