A ‘straight’ man who was left ‘shocked’ after finding out the woman he was dating was transgender has turned to the internet for help.
The man, whose name is Josh, opened up about the situation Reddit last year, asking for “advice” on how to share his “questions and concerns” with her.
He explained that he and the unnamed woman had gone on a string of dates and spent “considerable time together” – when she revealed she was born male.
Josh, who admitted to “being quite narrow-minded about male-to-female trans women in the past,” said he was completely baffled by the revelation, but quickly realized he “still wanted her.”
A ‘straight’ man named Josh (pictured) has opened up about his ‘shock’ when he learned the woman he was dating was transgender
The man, whose name is Josh, spoke about the situation on Reddit last year, asking for “advice” on how to share his “questions and concerns” with her
He said he felt a “genuine connection with her” and found her “very attractive,” so he asked his fellow Reddit users to give him some pointers on how to move forward with the relationship.
“I’m falling for a girl and I just found out she’s trans – how do I go about this as a straight man with no experience in this field?” he started in the post.
“I’ll be completely honest and say that I’ve been pretty narrow-minded about male-to-female trans women in the past, thinking there’s no way I could find them attractive or that it’s not for me.”
Josh said he was “physically and mentally entranced” by the woman, and that he “never thought of her as anything but a woman.”
“I still consider her a woman,” he added. “She came out today after I shared a kink list with her that showed I wasn’t interested in male-to-female at all.
“She was obviously very uncomfortable and visibly upset, and she said she didn’t think we would train.
After I finally convinced her to tell me what she was thinking about, my first reaction was initial shock, followed by (my exact words), “I still want you.”
“And it’s true, I really like this girl. I feel a genuine connection with her and I find her very attractive.
“The idea of missing out on meeting this amazing woman makes me very sad. But I was never interested in it nor was I given any information about what it means to be a trans woman.
In the comments section, Josh added that “the sex” was the main “concern for him.”
In another comment, he said he was “really happy to learn all this” so that even if they “don’t work out,” he can be “confident to form relationships with trans women.”
He also admitted to worrying about what others might think in his life and said it wasn’t a “conversation he looked forward to” with his loved ones when the time came.
He concluded, “All I know is that I want her to be happy and I have a lot of disorganized thoughts that I don’t want to put to her just yet because I don’t want to upset or drive her away.”
“I have been entitled to that for a very long time and still consider myself as such.
“I’ve experimented with a guy before and I really didn’t like it and would never go there again.”
Josh concluded his message by asking for help. He wrote, “Can you wonderful people give me some advice on how I should go about this?
“I feel really out of my depth, and a little overwhelmed, and I don’t know how to approach certain questions or concerns with her.”
In the comments section, Josh revealed that “the sex” was the main “concern for him.”
“I’m absolutely not worried about the emotional aspect, I comfort her and then spent several hours on the phone with her to make sure she’s okay,” he added.
“I just want to make sure I have the tools and info I need to move forward in a way that works for both of us.”
In another commentary, he said he was “really happy to learn all this” so that even if they “don’t work out,” he can be “confident in pursuing healthy relationships with trans women in the future, without all the communal stigma or disinformation.’
“I have a lot of friends who are trans women who have pursued me in the past that I’ve rejected for that reason alone, and I’m ashamed to admit now that I know there’s a lot more to it,” he explained out.
“So I’m glad my eyes have been opened by this experience, and I admit I may have been wrong in rejecting those opportunities.”
Last week, a transgender woman named Adea Danielle revealed that she doesn’t immediately tell the men she dates the truth about her gender identity
Adea (seen as a child), 22 – who underwent gender-confirming surgery in 2021 – said she’s keeping it a secret until she’s ready to ‘move on’ because people are ‘judgmental’
She also clapped back at people who accused her of “lying” or “cheating on men,” adding, “You’re not going to meet someone and tell them everything that happened in your past.”
He also admitted to worrying about what others might think in his life and said it wasn’t a “conversation he looked forward to” with his loved ones when the time came.
‘I’m still crazy about her. I just want to know what to expect, how it differs, etc. I think she deserves the world and if I want to know as soon as possible if I will be able to meet her needs while remaining myself,” concluded he.
“All I know is that I want her to be happy and that I have a lot of disorganized thoughts that I don’t want to present to her just yet because I don’t want to upset her or drive her away.”
Last week, a transgender woman named Adea Danielle revealed that she doesn’t immediately tell the men she dates the truth about her gender identity because she thinks people are “too judgmental.”
Adea, 22 – who underwent gender-confirming surgery in 2021, meaning her penis was removed and turned into a vagina – admitted she’s keeping it a secret from potential suitors until she’s ready to “take it one step further.”
She also clapped back at people who accused her of “lying” or “cheating the men,” adding, “There’s so much judgment about the trans label and if a guy heard I’m more likely to be trans, he’d be a fabricate fabrication. whole idea of who I am and how I should act.
“It’s my past and you’re not going to meet someone and tell them everything that happened in your past.
“I want him to get to know me and also, I’m not going to be rejected by a man I could reject. So I just tell them when I’m interested and when I want to move on.
‘[Online] guys often say, “Oh, you lie to men,” but then how can they say I’m lying when I present myself as a woman? They actually say I’m a man.’