I was born with one hand it makes dating difficult – men used to ghost me because of my disability but now I’m proud to look different

A woman with one hand claims she was ghosted by men when they discovered her disability made her so ’embarrassed’ she would hide it – but has finally learned to show it off with pride.

Leona Brown, 31, spent almost two decades hiding her birth defect on social media and avoiding dates with men because she was self-conscious about her condition, which meant her hand had not developed properly in the womb.

By the time she started clubbing at 18, she said she would use her handbag to hide her disability and walk around school and in public with her arms folded.

And when the mother of one worked up the courage to meet a potential suitor, she claims men would often ghost her after discovering her limb and refusing to meet again.

Leona, an embroiderer from Middlesbrough in North Yorkshire, said she first became self-conscious about her disability at the age of eight at primary school, when other pupils started shouting and staring at her.

She said most of the torment came from boys calling her names like “baby hand” and “foot hand” and said the teasing stuck with her as she grew up.

But now Leona is on a mission to normalize her disability and says she no longer cares what people think.

Instead, she courageously shares videos of herself discussing “one-handed life” on social media to encourage others to just “be yourself.”

She explained: ‘From the age of eight I started hiding (my hand).

‘I noticed people questioning my hand and staring at it. Then I started walking around with my arms folded or hiding it under my sleeve.

‘I was bullied a lot. Usually when I met new people they would make comments and I would get people saying “baby hand” or that I had a foot on my hand.

‘From the age of eight to 27 I hid my hand and it became a normal thing for me to do.

‘The teasing made me feel so different from everyone else and I hated it.

‘I often hid my hand from boys. It was mainly boys in primary school who said things to me and it stuck with me.

‘As I got older I had boyfriends, but with them I would never be my true self and hide my hand from them.

‘I would avoid going on dates to eat and avoid situations where I would have to use my hand in front of them because it scared me.

‘From the age of 18 onwards I became even more aware of my interactions with boys.

‘I started dating people on Facebook, but I hid my hand in every photo so you wouldn’t even know I had this disability.

‘When I went out to the club I would hide my hand with my clutch and put my arm around it so you couldn’t see it.

‘I was always so ashamed of it and would never put myself out there.

‘In the past I’ve had men ghost me and stop messaging me when they notice my hand. They would see it and never message me again. This has certainly happened a few times.’

Leona was born with the congenital condition – known as Symbrachydactyly – which affects a single upper limb and can leave some fingers undeveloped or not developed at all.

She said it wasn’t until she had her son at age 22 that she started hugging because she wanted to be seen as a role model for her first child.

Leona has now created a TikTok page to raise awareness of her disability and hopes to empower others with the same condition.

On her page she shares both humorous and more serious videos to lighten her hand and normalize it within society.

Leona said: ‘I had my son when I was 22. This was a big turning point for me because I kept telling him to be himself and embrace who he was, but I didn’t.

“I knew I had to be my full self and hold my hand because someone was looking up to me now. I wanted to be a role model for him.

‘I then created my TikTok page in lockdown.

‘I found more people on the app with the same condition as me. I hadn’t seen anyone with it before.

‘Then I started the page and it helped me accept my hand better and become more confident.

“Growing up, there was very little representation of disability, which is why I make my TikTok so people can learn more about it.

‘I make funny videos to attract people to my page, so they can also see more of my more serious videos.

‘For example, I post that I get my nails done for half the price. I call it a five-finger discount. My nail technician charges £15 for a set of gel manicures.

‘I also show myself in the gym and how I complete daily tasks with my fitness.’

Leona said she now feels confident about her disability and posts pictures of her hand on her social media.

She also explained how she goes to the gym alone, something she didn’t do until she was 21, for fear of people staring at her hand.

Leona said: ‘Before I was 21, I would never have entered a gym because I knew it was a place where I couldn’t hide my hand.

‘My friends increasingly encouraged me to do normal things and this really helped.

‘I now post pictures that show my hand, something I wouldn’t have done before. I now embrace it and look at it with a different attitude.

‘My self-confidence has grown enormously since I had my son.

“This year, the reality TV show Married at First Sight features the first ever contestant without a limb.

‘Reality TV shows with people with similar conditions are so fun to watch and make me happy.

‘The better a disability like mine is represented, the more normal it will become.

‘And this is what I try to do with my TikTok.

‘I would tell my younger self and anyone with my disability: just be yourself. It’s the best thing you can do and it opens up many more possibilities.’