I want to give my baby the same name as my friend’s stillborn – I have a right to do so without being burdened by her trauma

An expectant mother wonders whether she should give her baby a different name after discovering it is the same as her friend's stillborn baby.

The 26-year-old is seven months pregnant with her first child and is expecting a little girl. Overjoyed with the news, the couple chose the 'beautiful' name Adelaide and told friends and family.

But a few weeks later they were confronted by a close friend who revealed it was the same name as her stillborn child.

Sharing the sensitive details on Reddit, the woman isn't sure what to do and her friend asked if they could choose an alternative name.

“My husband, 28, and I had already decided what we would name our baby depending on gender, and when we found out she was going to be a girl, we announced we would name her Adelaide,” she wrote.

'I first heard of this name when I was a child and loved it, and decided that if I ever had a daughter I would name her Adelaide.'

A few weeks later, she noticed that her friend, whom she has known since college, was “acting distant.”

'Throughout my pregnancy I tried to be sensitive to her feelings because I knew this was a sore point for her. Two years ago, she tragically lost her daughter to a stillbirth,” the woman continued.

'I can't even imagine how heartbreaking this must have been for her and I made sure I supported her through this devastating loss. Despite her trauma, she has never been anything less than kind and empathetic towards me until that day.”

A few weeks later, the friend confronted the couple and suggested they change the baby's name, but they refused.

As time went on, the friend continued to try to convince the couple, claiming Adelaide was “too old-fashioned” or “wasn't right for the kid.”

“We kept denying that we wanted to change her name until my friend finally started crying and revealed that Adelaide was the name she had chosen for her stillborn baby,” the woman continued.

'When she was pregnant, she refused to tell anyone the name of her baby because she wanted it to be a surprise before the birth.

'After the stillbirth she decided to keep the name to herself because it was personal to her, which we understood.

'Until recently, no one knew what her baby's name would be. She claims that by keeping our name we are disrespecting her baby's memory.

“She said if I chose the same name, my daughter would be a living reminder of what could have been.

“I completely understand her grief, but I believe I should have the right to name my own child without being burdened by someone else's trauma.”

The woman had to ask herself what was more important to her: the friendship or the baby name.

She asked herself and Reddit if she was the asshole for wanting the same name her friend gave her stillborn.

Many agreed, saying she isn't wrong, but she should consider choosing a different name.

“I would probably choose a different name,” one wrote, while another agreed, saying, “I don't think I could use the name knowing all this.”

“I'd probably change the name. Maybe your friend will get over it, maybe you will lose a friend. Is the name worth it?' asked a third.

But some thought differently.

“Your baby, your right to name it whatever you want. Although sad for your friend, you didn't know that beforehand, but that doesn't matter at all,” someone commented.

“It is an outrageous right for her to bother you at this late hour with complaints about your child's name.”

Someone else wrote: 'Her trauma doesn't bother you. Someone has told you that he is upset and has asked you to do something. We can house people or not according to our own choice.'