I used a surrogate to welcome my daughters – here’s the downsides to the process that nobody talks about

A father who used surrogacy to welcome his daughters has opened up about the harrowing dark sides of the process that no one talks about.

As a “single gay man,” Eran Amir, 47, from New York, knew his options were “limited” when he decided he wanted to have children.

He eventually turned to surrogacy, but his journey to fatherhood was “emotionally, financially and logistically challenging” in ways he never expected.

Not only did he struggle mightily with finding the right baby carrier, but once he connected with a surrogate, he admitted he was filled with anxiety about the constant “unknowns” and “what ifs.”

Now a father of two, Eran is extremely grateful that he was able to use surrogacy to welcome his daughters – Ariel, six, and Yael, three – but he admitted the process had many more “twists and turns” than he did. expected.

He spoke exclusively to DailyMail.com about the harsh reality of using a surrogate in the hope of helping others who may be going through something similar.

“Welcoming my daughters through surrogacy was definitely one of the most rewarding experiences of my life, but it was far from easy,” he admitted.

‘It started with a dream – a desire to become a father – and quickly became a complex puzzle of decisions, emotions and logistical hurdles.

‘One of the biggest challenges was the constant uncertainty. You are navigating a process that is filled with so many unknowns, many of which are out of your control.”

Eran explained that the first hurdle he faced was finding the perfect person to carry his child.

He said he spent months “vetted agencies” and searched for a surrogate who shared his “values.”

“There’s a lot of trust involved, and it’s a big job to choose someone to carry your child when so much is at stake,” he explained.

Ultimately there was a match, but what followed was no easier.

As a ‘single gay man’, Eran Amir (seen with his daughters), 47, from New York, knew his options were ‘limited’ when he decided he wanted to have children

He eventually turned to surrogacy, but his journey to fatherhood was ’emotionally, financially and logistically challenging’ in ways he never expected

Not only did he struggle mightily with finding the right agency and surrogate, but once he connected with a surrogate, he admitted he was filled with fear of the constant “unknowns.”

He recalled waiting “anxiously” for the embryo transfer and “holding his breath” during each medical update.

Eran said the nine-month pregnancy “felt like a marathon,” and recalled often feeling “helpless” and “powerless.”

‘I was constantly worried: would everything go well? Did I support my surrogate mother enough?’ he said.

“Each step brought a mix of anticipation and fear, and I spent months in that tense ‘what if’ space.

‘It’s a strange feeling, being so deeply connected and yet physically distant.

“I often felt a little powerless, wanting to do more, but knowing I had to trust the process and let go of the need to control everything.”

He said he wanted to be “involved every step of the way,” but admitted he often felt “removed.”

He also faced numerous “legal hurdles” and pondered the enormous financial burden of using a surrogate.

“Every state has different laws surrounding surrogacy, and you have to be diligent to make sure every detail is correct – from parental rights to medical decisions,” he emphasized.

Eran is grateful that he was able to use the process to welcome his two daughters – Ariel, six, and Yael, three – but he admitted it has involved a lot more “twists and turns” than he expected

He spoke exclusively to DailyMail.com about the harsh reality of using a surrogate in hopes of helping others who may be going through something similar

‘Then there is the financial side of things. Surrogacy is a significant investment, and managing the financial aspects – making sure I made the right choices while staying within budget – added another layer of complexity to an already complicated process.”

Despite all the challenges he faced, Eran said the moment he held his daughter for the first time, he knew it was worth it.

“It felt like all the stress and anxiety disappeared in an instant,” he said. ‘It’s all worth it in the end.

“When you finally hold your baby, the distance disappears and all you feel is pure love and appreciation.”

Eran has now launched his own company called GoStorkwhich is intended to help others “find, compare and connect with the best fertility providers.”

“I didn’t want others to feel as lost or overwhelmed as I did,” he said of the company.

“I wanted to provide a tool that makes this journey a little easier because I know firsthand how challenging it can be.”