A sperm donor wonders if he’s wrong for rejecting the relationship with his biological son.
The US-based man turned to Reddit for advice on whether he was acting maliciously by not wanting to connect with his child.
He donated sperm when he was younger in an effort to help other people start a family when he wasn’t ready himself.
At the time, he never thought an ancestry website would link to him, but this is exactly how his biological son tracked him down.
Now Reddit users are going to the comment section to advise the father on whether to pursue a relationship with his son, despite the original post being deleted since its deletion.
An anonymous user took to Reddit to seek advice on whether he is wrong for rejecting a relationship with his son over a sperm donation after knocking at his door
The message explained that the child had managed to reach his father through his cousins through his ancestors’ website.
The cousins had subsequently gone behind his back and given the son private information about his biological father.
They had communicated with the child and given him a sense of hope.
Not only this, but the cousins also shamed the father for not wanting to bond with the son despite his original wishes.
This eventually led to the child coming to his biological father’s house.
But the father passed up the chance to connect.
The Reddit user believes his family members crossed boundaries because they reacted against his will.
It is believed that the son, who was raised by two mothers, failed to inform his non-biological parents, posing a potential security risk due to the sensitive nature of the situation.
Not only this, but the Reddit user’s fiancé is currently pregnant and so he tries to make life as stress-free as possible.
Reddit users have flocked to the comments to help the confused dad, with most picking the dad.
One said, “I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. My suggestion is to block them both and move on. You owe neither of you anything.
“It’s hard on the kid, I’m sure. But that’s his problem to work out in therapy. Biology does not make a family. You helped someone else start a family and that’s the one who should be important to him.”
A second user added, “You’re not a father. You are a sperm donor. I assume it’s your cousins feeding these kids’ fantasies and romanticizing your involvement as something more than it actually was.
“I would very clearly lay down the law with your cousins if this becomes an ongoing battle. Arming yourself powerfully to become a father because of a sperm donation you made as a child is just cruel.”
A third wrote: “You donated sperm and it was anonymous. You are not a father and you don’t have to have any responsibilities with that child.
“Your cousins are big AHs and I don’t think they really see the situation.”
Another said, “You’re absolutely right: you were a sperm donor at a clinic, you didn’t help friends have a baby, or you abandoned this child’s mother.”
‘Before the DNA test you were sure it was anonymous. Turns out anonymity isn’t guaranteed because of things like 23&me. You may need to speak with a lawyer.’