I tried the weirdest-looking Bluetooth speaker in the world, and I utterly adore it
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Look, I like it when hi-fi leans towards anthropomorphism. Nature knows best and she hates straight lines, just look at Devialet’s Phantom lineup for reference.
I also love audio gear that makes me nervous – see the ominous, Dalek-esque Wilson Audio Alexia V for starters. Give me theatre! Give me strange eyeballs hanging from rails, strange sonic clothespins, sound bars that mimic graceful sailing ships or massive horns and subwoofers that look like real cabinets (scroll to point five).
This is music! This is the shape of our identity, and we can’t all be happy with an integrated amp plus two wooden boxes with a small driver on the top and a bigger one on the bottom – not that there’s anything wrong with that; some of the best stereo speakers we’ve tested take this tried-and-true shape.
But I’ve always felt that the alternative, the strange and the downright bizarre is where rock ‘n’ roll rests, if it’s not about fighting the good fight. It’s definitely what I like the most.
So what better product for me than a yellow war-damaged eyeball space rocket speaker that searches the world as if it will crash over my cold, dead body after killing me?
Meet the GravaStar Mars Pro, in ‘War Damaged Yellow’. My first thought when unpacking was BB-8, but when I stuck out the three pincer-like legs, I was reminded of Batteries not included (which is an older reference, but if you haven’t seen it, you’re missing out).
When I turned to his driver-filled eyeball (there’s also a passive bass radiator at the back), the creature in Jordan Peele’s Nope came to mind – and I felt like I shouldn’t be looking at it at all.
No matter which angle I looked at it from, I decided that this is a design I can stand behind.
Advice: Industry-leading audio isn’t always paramount in design-led speakers, but the sound is good here
As a reserved audiophile (someone who gets annoyed at herself for noticing the drawbacks acoustically in certain London venues rather than simply enjoying the performance, for example) I struggle with the style versus substance debate. I assumed I wouldn’t like this speaker because it just talks and isn’t pants, but the sound turns out to be much better than average – and it’s just so much fun.
For example, turn on the Mars Pro and it sounds like a door opening on the Death Star. I like that. Then there’s the three beautifully crafted, hand-painted and faux-weathered buttons on the back, which include power and playback, Bluetooth (that’s 5.0, so you can pair two of them in stereo), and the light function, which can be pressed to scrolling through six different color options across the speaker grille, legs, back and, er… gills. What I’m saying is that I’m already a huge fan and haven’t even heard of it yet.
And there’s also a touch-sensitive, backlit top plate, so you can gently stroke its head to turn up the volume of your music. Weighing in at 5.55 lbs, it’s also heavier than you’d expect.
Beautifully crafted from a cool zinc alloy, the GravaStar Mars Pro in War Damaged Yellow is my favorite design of all the Mars Pros – but feel free to check out the standard black, white, or special edition Shark 14, Aurochs, or Aquarius options.
I love it because it harks back to my childhood Darth Vader alarm clock (which yelled, “You can’t resist the power of the Force!” until I hit Darth on the head one morning) but that was at a time when wirelessly pinging songs from a small device with internet access to your spherical speaker was just unheard of.
And GravaStar tells us that the Mars Pro is Made for audiophiles and not just mecha fans. This Bluetooth speaker has built-in exclusive DSP audio algorithms to promote deep bass, accurate mids and clear highs. It’s also a two-speaker design with a passive bass radiator to create a powerful all-round sound.
GravaStar proudly states that no two Mars Pros are alike thanks to the hand-painting, and that each speaker is the “born warrior of the GravaStar factory” – captivating stuff. It’s also no slouch for endurance with a 15-hour battery life.
I let it play things from my Apple Music catalog at random, and the 20W output is more than enough to rock me at my desk – although it does distort a bit if you turn the volume above 80%. With nearly 60%, however, the Waterboys’ Rosalind (You married the wrong man) comes through with great detail due to the hyperactive wurlitzer, snappy drum section and bluesy tempo. Bruce Springsteen’s Because the night contains a lot of exuberance through the keys and also the inimitable voice of The Boss.
And for bass? It is well. A speaker of such small proportions can often struggle, but here’s a sensible solution, offering depth, richness and snap that won’t get muddy or swell until you get to the higher volume steps – and if you love the aesthetic as much as I do , it is still a pleasure to listen to music on it.
John Mayer’s I think I just feel like it (don’t judge me, I swear I didn’t know it was on there) feels wonderful through the plucked guitar and tender vocals. Yes, it’s a relatively easy, simple song, but it’s expertly curbed and relayed here.
I’d love to hear two of these in stereo, to get that extra bass without turning up the volume (and clouding it a bit), but at $330 (about £290 or AU$515) I’ve never seen a speaker which I like so much. And since I test some of the best Bluetooth speakers for a living, that’s a big statement.