I spent $5,000 marrying MYSELF – my co-workers say I’m crazy and lonely but I’ve never felt more amazing
A divorcee has been called ‘lonely’ and ‘crazy’ by her co-workers after spending nearly $5,000 to remarry herself at a wedding with no guests in Mexico.
Andria Johnson, 39, proposed on Valentine’s Day and went on to enjoy several months of being her own fiancé.
She then traveled from her home in Hanover, Maryland, to Tulum, Mexico, where she married herself in a solo ceremony that included reciting vows to herself and placing a $37 ring on her finger, before a local officer.
The wedding was markedly different from Andria’s first marriage – which took place in 2015 when she was 31, marrying her then 45-year-old husband in Las Vegas.
Andria grew up with parents who were married for 42 years and dreamed of a long and healthy relationship with her husband, but by 2018 she divorced herself.
Andria Johnson, 39, proposed on Valentine’s Day and enjoyed several months of being her own fiancé before tying the knot in Tulum, Mexico.
Three years after her divorce, she realized in therapy: ‘I love myself, and I would like the person who wants to be married to me’
Andria says the 14-year age gap between the two, mixed with socio-economic differences, put a strain on the relationship and ultimately led to the demise of her first marriage.
However, she could not help but put herself under the microscope and blame herself for not being the perfect woman, not knowing more about life and putting the idea of marriage above the health of their relationship.
For Andria, the road to forgiveness and healing was long and arduous.
She started working with a therapist, and – through tears, studies and long hours of meditation – she finally reached a breakthrough three years later: when she decided to marry herself.
During one of her therapy sessions, in a moment of clarity, she told her therapist: ‘I love myself, and I would love to be the person who wants to be married to me’.
It was then that she questioned whether she could make herself a reality and looked to celebrities such as Selena Gomez, 31, who married herself on her 30th birthday, and singer Mya, 40, who sang ‘I do’ said to herself. Seychelles on the coast of East Africa.
“I wanted to celebrate my new relationship with myself by doing what I should have done years ago,” she said.
“In my first marriage, I made the mistake of devoting myself to loving someone else unconditionally without first giving myself the same love.”
Andria loved this declaration of self-love and wanted her own unique experience. Shortly after proposing on Valentine’s Day, she began planning her wedding.
When Andria shared her desire to marry herself with her family, friends and colleagues, she got mixed reactions from everyone.
While her family and friends supported her decision, her colleagues saw it as an unusual move and struggled to accept it.
She bought herself a ring that cost just under $40
Andria made the deliberate decision to go through with her wedding without any guests
“There were a lot of comments made to me and behind my back about me being pathetic, crazy, lonely, starved for attention, and a whole host of other things,” she said.
‘Some employees anonymously reported me to the HR department and started an investigation at work about my mental stability. It was a really difficult time.’
After booking a flight and hotel in Tulum, Mexico, where her wedding ceremony would take place, Andria announced her decision to marry herself in March 2023 to her more than 1,000 followers.
The general reaction to her public announcement was generally positive and filled with praise – although most were merely curious.
But judgmental comments from friends and acquaintances have not stopped, with Andria still facing a series of hurtful comments and questions.
“Did you change your medication?” one commented
“I guess we can never date because I don’t date married women,” another snapped.
“Wow, you always do something no one else would,” commented a third.
But hearing the haters didn’t deter her from the path she chose for herself, and she held a private ceremony – much like her first marriage, but minus the groom – in Tulum, Mexico.
She chose to tie the knot with herself on the day she turned 39, May 1, 2023.
Andria didn’t want any guests at her wedding and decided to do it alone.
‘Having spent most of my life trying to please other people, I decided to do it for myself. I wanted the ceremony to reflect me and not conform to society’s standard of a wedding, but I still wanted to be a bride,’ she said.
‘I used elements of a typical Christian wedding (dress, hair, make-up, ring) and some of my own, such as baptism, spiritual vows and a recognition of my love for myself alone in nature.
‘This ceremony was very personal to me, so I wanted to say my vows out loud to myself, but I didn’t need the “official” pomp and pageantry of the traditional wedding.
While she received a lot of hate for the decision, she made peace with the negativity by choosing not to care what others thought of her
“I know people are going to think what they want to think about you, so you might as well do what you want,” she reflected
‘Being married to myself has taught me many things. I learned that I can’t bring anything to a relationship if I can’t love myself,’ Andria said
“I went to a cenote for a photo shoot that symbolizes the rebirth of myself and emerging into the new version of myself.”
A cenote is a deep freshwater spring or well made from a sinkhole filled with water. Known for their purifying and detoxifying effects, they also hold spiritual significance in Mayan culture.
“When I came out of the water (almost like a baptism), I put on my wedding dress, walked to the cenote, said my vows and put the ring on my own finger,” she said.
Talking about the ring, she said since she couldn’t find a designer ring that spoke about her personal journey, she found a beautiful lotus promise ring at a store called Story Jewelery and fell in love with it at first sight .
Her ring cost a little less than $40 – but reflected everything she was feeling.
When asked if she had any second thoughts before getting married or experiencing cold feet, she said: ‘Until a few days before, I was completely confident in my decision. Although I actually got nervous the day before. I have no idea why! I began to question myself if I was really going to make it through. am i crazy
‘I felt very similar to what I experienced when I married my ex-husband. Once I released myself to my higher power to give and receive love for myself, I was ready to do it.
‘It was an incredible experience! The ceremony lasted all day.
‘My vows were deeply personal and were written throughout the week that I was there. Saying this to myself with my eyes closed in nature was the ultimate slavery.
‘I was alone, but never alone as long as I had myself. When I saw myself in my wedding dress, it was amazing. I felt beautiful. I chose the dress I wanted.
‘I was alone, but never alone as long as I had myself. When I saw myself in my wedding dress, it was amazing,” Andria said about the ceremony
‘The cake and champagne was the added bonus at the end of the night, and I didn’t have to share with anyone else. I did everything for me, and it was empowering to know that I didn’t need another person to feel this great.’
Even after the wedding, the backlash from her colleagues did not subside, and she eventually had to quit her job.
Johnson created an anonymous survey to get feedback on what the people in her office thought, and she received some unsavory responses.
“I saw a three-paragraph comment detailing my mental instability because I married myself. This person attacked my social media page, called me abusive names and told me to stay in Mexico and leave my craziness there,’ she said.
‘They said no one would call me ma’am because it wasn’t legally binding. I was used to getting such comments from strangers, but this really hit hard because it came from someone who knew me personally.
‘So now I don’t care what other people think of me. Because I know people are going to think what they want to think about you, so you might as well do what you want.
‘Being married to myself has taught me many things. I learned that I can’t bring anything to a relationship if I can’t love myself.
‘I also learned that self-love is not just bubble baths and massages and now I put my relationship with myself above everything else and constantly work on it.’