If a man doesn’t say “I love you” within three months, he’s “not the one,” according to a self-proclaimed “no-nonsense” dating expert.
Controversial Australian dating coach Jake Maddock sparked heated debate when he laid out the rules for how long it should take for a man to declare his love.
“If your partner doesn’t say ‘I love you’ clearly after 12 weeks, then he’s not the right partner for you and you’ve wasted your time,” Jake said in an online video.
“Twelve weeks, not 52, twelve weeks, three months – that’s all you’ve got,” the expert insisted. “‘I love you’ is the key to a successful relationship.”
He said women who stayed with their partners longer without being told they were loved were ‘wasting their time on potential’.
“You know it with your ideal partner, and they know it too,” Jake added.
Men and women were divided over Jake’s strict time frame for knowing whether or not a relationship would work, but many still called the hard advice “facts.”
“Yes, the 90-day rule! After that, you’re wasting your time,” one woman said.
Controversial relationship coach Jake Maddock said a woman should end her relationship if her partner hasn’t clearly said ‘I love you’ within the first three months
Jake believed that the three-month break was the key to a successful relationship, and that many women waste time by staying with a partner who is unclear about his feelings for them.
“Unpopular opinion, but I agree. I was married in less than 12 weeks and I am happily married to my best friend who turns 10 next month,” said another woman.
“Ladies, when you’re ready, ask those tough questions and know what you want. Don’t give up and if you find him, trust me, you’ll know within 12 weeks,” she added.
Others called it “crazy” to put a time frame on love, stressing that three months is certainly too early to know for sure.
“After 43 years of marriage, that’s absurd,” one woman said.
“That’s way too early. You’re tripping,” another woman agreed.
People who defended Jake’s “tough love” rule accused those who thought three months was too early of being “unhealed train wrecks.”
“It shouldn’t take this long for you to feel feelings of love, otherwise you are very damaged. If that’s the case, stop dating and work on yourself,” one woman said.
Others responded by stating that people who say “I love you” too quickly are often guilty of “love bombing,” because it is a word that is easily used.
“My ex-boyfriend said I love you after a week. I wish I had walked away then… a love bomb at his best,” said one woman.
One woman had Jake use the grimace emoji when she said she was still waiting for an “I love you” message after 16 months.
This isn’t the first hard dating rule the relationship expert has shared with his fans.
Jake said he cracked the code for single women looking for a man of the right age to date.
Mr. Maddock believes that single women should date men who are at least ten years older than them.
“An older man is likely to have less fear of commitment and be more decisive about the direction he wants to take in the relationship,” Jake says.
“He will also have a more mature point of view when it comes to solving problems and relationship issues,” he added.