A mother-of-three – who was hospitalized 28 times during one pregnancy and found out she was carrying twins shortly after falling ill with Covid – has urged others in their 30s to ‘reconsider’ whether they want children.
Samantha Armitage, 34, admits she misses her pre-pregnancy figure and is going on holiday with her eldest son, 12, because she ‘gave up a big part of her life’ to care for her young twins, who were born last year Born.
She gave birth to Elijah, 2lb 7oz, and Zendaya, 3lb 1oz, nine weeks prematurely at Stepping Hill Hospital in Stockport on February 28, 2022 – and suffered severe morning sickness that left her vomiting 20 to 30 times a day.
The premature twins spent three months in hospital before they were able to return home to Leeds with Samantha, her partner, Ryan, 32, a specialist painter, and her son from a previous relationship, Kaleb, 12.
Samantha – who has now been diagnosed with chronic fatigue syndrome – says the pregnancy ‘nearly killed her’ and left her socially anxious and afraid to go out.
A mother-of-three – who was hospitalized 28 times during one pregnancy and found out she was carrying twins shortly after falling ill with Covid – has urged others in their 30s to ‘reconsider’ whether they want children. Samantha was shooting before she got Covid
The parent revealed that she now doesn’t even leave the house due to “severe anxiety about what people think of the new her.”
“It’s a struggle to push the double stroller and any overexertion costs me days,” she said. ‘[The twins] are needy, clingy, they climb on everything, they still don’t sleep through the night.
‘I’ve missed out on so much and I feel like they’re missing out on so much too – I’m classed as disabled and it’s had a huge impact on my mental health.
‘Every day for me is like surviving, I have to applaud myself for just cooking or doing some housework. I want to find myself again, but I have to start all over again because I no longer know who I am.’
Samantha also ‘mourns’ her old life. She says she misses being social, going to work with a size ten figure and the independence and freedom.
“I don’t have those things anymore,” she said. ‘I was so consumed with regret and mother guilt that I thought having twins had ruined my life. I have so much love for them, but at the same time regret and pain.’
Samantha Armitage (pictured with the twins), 34, admits she misses her pre-pregnancy figure and is going on holiday with her eldest son, 12, because she ‘gave up a lot of her life’ to look after her to care for young twins born last year
She gave birth to Elijah, 2lb 7oz, and Zendaya, 3lb 1oz (both pictured) nine weeks prematurely at Stepping Hill Hospital in Stockport on February 28, 2022 – and suffered severe morning sickness that left her needing to wake up 20 to 30 times a day vomit.
Samantha – who has now been diagnosed with chronic fatigue syndrome – says the pregnancy ‘nearly killed her’ and left her socially anxious and afraid to go out. Pictured in hospital with Covid in 2021
The full-time mother says the experience has “affected her identity and who she is.”
“I have to find my place in the world again as a disabled mother with two twin babies and an older child,” she added.
If she had known then what she knows now, Samantha says, she would have “reconsidered and been more cautious” about the pregnancy.
“I love them, but I miss my old life so much,” she explained. ‘I am excessively tired and exhausted. Pregnancy almost cost me my life. The twins were so premature because my body couldn’t physically carry them anymore, there were so many complications.’
Samantha says she “also missed so much with her eldest son, taking care of these babies on her own while her partner was at work all the time.”
She added: ‘I’ve always had big dreams and achieved well, but I had to put myself and my goals on the back burner to become a full-time mum. If you value your freedom, don’t do it. You’ll regret it later.’
Samantha says that before she became pregnant for the second time, she had completed her second degree in teaching and learning at the University of Leeds and had run her own career coaching business.
However, in July 2021 she became seriously ill with Covid and was hospitalized for three weeks.
If she had known then what she knows now, Samantha says, she would have “reconsidered and been more cautious” about the pregnancy. The twins pictured in hospital
Samantha (pictured while pregnant) says before she became pregnant for the second time, she had graduated from her second degree in teaching and learning at the University of Leeds and had run her own career coaching business
And just a month after being released from the hospital, she became pregnant. While considering whether to continue with the pregnancy, Samantha had a scan and was told she was expecting twins.
Since she was a twin herself and there were twins in her family, she decided to go ahead with the pregnancy.
However, she was diagnosed with hyperemesis gravidarum, a severe form of morning sickness that causes patients to suffer from long-term nausea and vomiting.
Samantha was hospitalized due to the condition and was also diagnosed with pneumonia and sepsis – meaning she was hospitalized 28 times in just 31 weeks.
After undergoing an emergency caesarean section at 31 weeks, Samantha’s twins were kept in hospital for three months as her son suffered from periventricular leukomalacia – a form of brain injury most common in premature babies.
Samantha admits that while she loves her children, she wishes she had been more careful when considering her second pregnancy. Pictured: twins Elijah and Zendaya
And when her babies came home, the mother found herself struggling to balance the complex needs of her twin brother on top of caring for her eldest child and herself.
Now she says she rarely leaves the house due to severe anxiety and has missed birthdays, vacations, baby showers and even quality time with her eldest child.
Samantha admits that while she loves her children, she wishes she had been more careful when considering her second pregnancy.
“I would advise people in their mid-30s, who have been ill or it is their second pregnancy, to think about it again, because for me the first pregnancy was easier than the second,” she urged.
‘You have to consider whether you can continue with a pregnancy if something goes wrong. Make a list of what you enjoy now, the things you might have to give up as a mother, and what support you have if something goes wrong.
“I wish I had waited until I was healthier or in a better career position. It’s a blessing to have twins, but it’s also double the stress, double the finances, double the exhaustion.”