I refused to swap beds with my plus-sized friend on a trip – now she says I’m unreasonable

A woman has revealed how she refused to swap beds with her plus-size friend on holiday but has now been branded ‘unreasonable’.

The woman in her 30s, from the US, also took to Reddit’s popular Am I The A**hole thread to unravel the details of the feud.

She explained how the squabble over room allocation had started, causing her friend to burst into tears.

But readers remained bitterly divided in the comments over who was really wrong.

The post, shared earlier this week, started with the unnamed holidaymaker revealing she was going on holiday with four friends – all women in their 30s and 40s.

She explained: ‘We go every year and always use a randomized selection tool to help us choose who gets which bedroom. The tool assigns the order in which we can choose. I got the third choice and my plus size friend Marie got the fifth choice.

‘The first three of us all chose the queen beds. The other two were given twin beds and had to share a room. Yes, it sucks, but that’s why we leave it to chance so no one can complain.’

The exasperated woman continued, “Marie asked me privately if we could switch places so she could have the queen bed. She is plus size, but in my opinion not so big that she cannot fit in a single bed.

‘Personally I have lost over 50kg and at my biggest I was bigger than Marie is now. I never asked to change beds when I was older.

‘That’s why I said no. She started crying and told me that I was being unreasonable and that I should understand it.

‘I understand, but it’s also my holiday and I’ve worked hard to be in a body that I feel comfortable in. I don’t feel like I have to give up my spot to accommodate her while she can still fit in the room. double bed.’

The original poster later edited her post to add more context.

She explained, “We agreed in advance that the two people who got the twin beds would pay $75 less than the rest of us. It’s just way too expensive to get a house with five rooms and five queen beds.

‘As far as I know she has no mobility problems or other disabilities.

‘She never explicitly gave me the $75 back, but I honestly can’t imagine she didn’t have that in mind when she asked to switch. She is not the monster many of you assume she is.”

After widespread uproar in the comments, the woman continued: “Many people suggested that it may have had more to do with her discomfort with sharing a room, rather than getting out of bed.

‘That would make much more sense to me. When I was older, I snored often and was completely embarrassed if I had to sleep in a room with someone.

“Many also suggested that I lack empathy. It’s true, I don’t feel empathy. It’s a long-standing issue with my mental health, which is why I often post on this account asking for help.

“I don’t want to be ad**k, so I trust honest people to call me. So I appreciate it, even though a lot of the people who said these things were scorned.”

The Reddit post has been flooded with comments, with readers bitterly divided over the issue.

On the one hand, there were many who labeled her the bastard.

One person wrote: ‘Hot take. YTA. She is ashamed, comes to you from a place of vulnerability, and your response was: “Tough luck, fat, you have to work as hard as I do to get into a body that you feel comfortable with.”

‘People make up so much drama about their room on holiday – it’s about the memories you build with the people you travel with, not the time you spend alone in your bedroom.

‘This isn’t really about being AH. It’s a question about values. What do you value more: your friendship with this person, or sleeping in a queen-sized bed for a few nights?’

A second person wrote: ‘YTA. The random selection of rooms is a terrible idea. You had to know that at some point someone would have problems with the bed he or she was given.

‘How difficult is it to ensure that everyone gets comfortable accommodation, even if that means paying more?

‘Also, many twin size bed frames have a weight limit of 250 pounds, which means that it is not a matter of a plus size person not wanting to sleep on a twin size bed, but a matter of their weight exceeding the weight limit of the exceeds twin size. bed frame.

“Marie may have been terrified of breaking the bed, or undressing in front of someone else, so she approached you and asked to switch.

“As someone who had once been heavier, she thought you would understand her fear. Instead, you invalidated her fear.”

Another added: ‘Yes, for no other reason than you HAD to mention your weight loss in your story, which to me means you now clearly have no empathy for someone struggling with their weight, and you should be her friend are.’

A fourth person commented: ‘YTA for having a smug, superior attitude towards your weight loss. YTA for looking down on your friend. I have no problems with the beds; you should dump her so she can find real friends.”

But on the other hand, some claimed she wasn’t wrong.

One person wrote: ‘NTA. This is the agreed method of determining beds. If she didn’t like the results, she shouldn’t have agreed to the scheme. Besides, there is absolutely no reason for her to demand anything bigger than a twin.”

Someone else commented: ‘NTA. You all have a set arrangement for choosing rooms. If she had a problem with that, she should have said something beforehand. It is unreasonable to expect you to give up your room.”

A third person added: “Assuming the randomized selection tool is truly randomized, and assuming the five of you agreed to be bound by this process, NTA.”

Another wrote: “NTA, she agreed to this plan. When it turned out not to her liking, she asked if you wanted to switch. It’s fair to ask if she will respect your response, which she won’t.”