I refused to pay for my daughter’s $200,000 wedding and now she’s not speaking to me – but people say she’s ‘spoiled’ and I’m right to say no

Weddings are expensive – so you can see why one daughter asked her dad to raise money for her big day, but what’s the limit on what parents can spend?

A New Yorker told the Am I A*****e’s subreddit that he promised to pay for his daughter’s big day, but was shocked to discover that her dream wedding in New Zealand is a lavish affair.

The father spoke of fighting his paternal urge to spoil his daughter, who stopped talking to him after he told her no, with what he described as “burning money.”

His wife sided with the bride-to-be and urged her husband not to be so tight as they can both afford the $200,000 requested, but he insisted, “I think it’s a pointless display of wealth.’

Redditors were keen to show their support for the bride’s father, labeling his daughter’s request as ‘brave’ and labeling her as ‘spoiled and entitled’.

A New York father asked if he should give in after promising to pay for his daughter’s wedding, only to discover she wanted a $20,000 extravaganza in New Zealand

The helpless man asked Reddit, “Should I bite the bullet and essentially burn money and alienate family members to make my daughter’s dream wedding a reality?”

He added a side note to his request: “Above all, I know that I am not the father of the year, and that I am a spineless coward.”

He later said he “agreed to pay for her wedding but did not expect her to want to get married in New Zealand.”

One said: ‘Yes, $200,000 is an insane amount! Honestly, you could adopt me and just give me five thousand dollars and I’d be the best daughter ever!’

Another user also found her request cheeky: “Sounds like she might want a baller wedding to increase your social media wealth. It’s pretty daring to ask for a $200,000 wedding 9,000 miles away.”

And even more practical questions were asked: “You’re not stopping her from having a destination wedding.” You just don’t want to be the cash machine.

“What happens if people can’t come because it’s a destination wedding? Do you have to pay for that too?’

The father also explained his concerns about family members who “can’t afford to fly, let alone stay in New Zealand” – adding that some do not have passports or have never left the United States.

However, one commenter said that while the father is not wrong for denying his daughter’s request, he must take some of the blame for raising “a spoiled, entitled daughter.”

The disgruntled father told Reddit that growing up with less meant he overcompensated when it came to his daughter’s treatment

But a more sympathetic Redditor reassured the dad: ‘Don’t feel bad, unfortunately a lot of people who grew up with nothing overcompensated our children and in turn they grew up with some bad expectations, not you. alone and you’re not a bad father’.

Another even said: ‘Honestly, shielding your daughter from financial reality has given her a rude awakening.’

The loving father responded, “Yes, I know I messed up in that regard. I grew up poor and had to endure many hardships and struggles. I didn’t want her to experience that and yes, it led to this situation.

And one user some sound advice: “Can’t you just give her what you’re willing to contribute (since it’s going to be used at a wedding) and let her plan it however she wants?”

The wise person continued, “Save some for the tickets for you and your wife, which you can give later if the destination wedding is canceled. I agree that if she expects family to pay for their own tickets, they may not show up.”