- Ed Turner said he would swipe right on every woman and speak to ten at a time
- He was hooked and felt validated when he got matches, but he didn’t want to date
The first thing Ed Turner thought about when he woke up was swiping right on every woman who appeared on his screen.
Although he deleted Tinder and its catalog of other dating apps during his first long-term relationship in 2021, which lasted a year, all he could think about was the high that a match brought him.
Mr Turner, a quality manufacturer, first downloaded the app in 2015 when he was 18, even though he had no intention of going on a date or finding a girlfriend. In the worst case, he spoke to ten women at the same time.
Instead, his goal was to make matches feel validated and women find him attractive.
Addicted to dating apps, Mr. Turner sought therapy for his addiction.
Ed Turner, pictured, said he would get a ‘high’ every time he got a match, but it quickly turned into an addiction
His problems with dating apps started almost immediately after he downloaded them.
If Mr. Turner didn’t get a response or if a woman didn’t message him first, he would feel crushed.
“I used to get highs when I got a lot of matches with people I found attractive, but it was always followed by a crash because it’s not sustainable,” he said the i.
Mr Turner has since discovered that he suffers from borderline personality disorder and depression, and that not getting responses from women exaggerated his fear of abandonment and worsened his depressive moods.
At the height of his use, he had Tinder, Bumble and Hinge downloaded to his phone, was talking to ten women at a time and had a date once a week.
Although he would take women out to dinner after they had talked for a while, he rarely enjoyed it and admitted that this was to keep them talking to him.
Mr Turner said the apps were a kind of ‘window shopping’: he swiped on every woman he saw and later decided whether he liked them once they liked him back.
More than 55 percent of British users feel they spend too much time on dating apps, with the average person spending around 55 minutes a day scrolling through them, according to dating site eHarmony.
But Mr Turner admitted to spending up to three hours a day swiping and even paid for monthly subscriptions that allowed him unlimited swiping.
Ed Turner’s problems with dating apps started almost immediately after downloading them. If he didn’t get a response or if a woman didn’t message him first, he would feel crushed
Ed Turner first downloaded Tinder in 2015 when he was 18, even though he had no intention of going on a date or finding a girlfriend
At the height of his gains, he spent around £354 on dating apps in 18 months.
He eventually quit the apps after six years when he got into his first year-long relationship in 2021. But he still thought about daily swiping, which made him feel like a “bad” partner.
It was his therapist who suggested it was these dating apps that were causing him problems and told him to stop using them.
But every time he tried to quit, it took a month before he gave in and downloaded them again.
The more he used the apps, the more he lost the ability to socialize and fell into depression for months, leaving him feeling helpless because he didn’t know how to talk to the women he had matched with. He said the affirmation from others was the only thing that kept him going.
Many of his friends were also using the apps at the time and did not see their use as a problem. It wasn’t until 18 months ago that he admitted to friends that he was struggling.
Even after a year of therapy, he says he still struggles to get off the apps. Mr Turner spent £60 on a three-month Bumble subscription a few months ago.
However, he has now stopped swiping right on every woman he sees.
Mr Turner said he feels ‘targeted’ when he uses the apps, and from his own research and seeking help on forums such as Reddit, he knows others also suffer from this addiction.