I moved from the Jersey Shore to a city with the world’s darkest winters – here’s how you thrive when it’s bleak

Her friends could hardly believe it when Kari Leibowitz told them she was moving to the Arctic.

As a PhD student, she traveled to the northernmost university in the world – Tromsø, Norway – to investigate how mindset can influence our health.

Unlike the Jersey Shore – where she grew up – winter in Tromsø lasts a maximum of eight months and is plunged into almost complete darkness between November and January.

This period is known as the Polar Night.

Until then, she had loved all things summer all her life: from days on the beach to ice cream on the boardwalk and festivals under the stars.

Winter, on the other hand, was her most hated season. So much so that as a high school senior, she refused to take her brother to class until he first heated her car to the required warm temperature every morning.

“I was drawn to the Arctic to try to understand how people living through the darkest winters on Earth cope with the season,” she writes in her book. How to hibernate.

She naturally assumed that the long winters had a negative effect on people’s mental well-being. But what she discovered was that the seasons had very little impact.

While studying how people around the world react to cold, dark climates – traveling to Copenhagen, Finland, Reykjavík, Scotland, Amsterdam and Japan – she discovered a uniquely positive winter mentality.

She fell in love with winter herself.

“At its best,” she writes, “winter conjures up images of cozy snow days and hot chocolate with marshmallows. Reading in front of the fireplace with the dog on your lap, skiing from rustic lodges, sledding at top speed and snowball fights.’

But she acknowledges that the reality for many of us is much less romantic: endless mornings of defrosting the windshield, strong winds, dark, gray days, wet snow and runny noses.

‘The darkness can make us feel sluggish, tired and unable to concentrate. Cold, wet weather discourages outdoor activities and exercise, adding to our lethargy. We may feel less social, less our best selves,” she writes.

‘Winter is associated with death. In poetry, literature and metaphors, winters are harsh, fallow periods. The antithesis of goodness, light and growth. Colorless seasons, deprived of joy.’

And yet she noticed that the residents of Tromsø were actively looking forward to winter.

“Despite the long, dark, cold winters, these Northerners find joy, comfort and excitement in the season.

‘Those who appreciate winter generally orient themselves to the wonders of the season: conviviality and gathering around a fire, fresh air and starry skies, slowed-down rituals and a chance for rest.

‘For people with this mentality, winter is not a restrictive time of year to be feared, but a time full of opportunities to anticipate.

‘In Norway I learned that we are not condemned to waste the winter months, throw away the season and long for spring. We can change our way of thinking and therefore our experience of winter – and of our lives.’

This is how we can do it.

Appreciate winter

“Look at winter for what it is, and let it be a time to slow down,” she advises.

Mark daylight saving time on the calendar and start anticipating the pleasures to come: sweater weather, hot chocolate, maybe ice skating.

“By registering the onset of winter as a real event, we raise it in our hearts and minds,” she says.

It also helps us focus on the positive elements of the season rather than the negative.

In the week after changing the clocks, she also recommends reducing your meeting schedule, after-work activities, or commitments to your children, accepting that you won’t feel “confused.”

It also gives you something to look forward to.

Preparing for the season can also include changing towels and other decor for a more autumnal theme, and generally building a comforting nest for the months ahead.

Take naps when necessary – or at least rest – without shame, taking our cues from nature, where animals hibernate and plants enjoy a freeze cycle.

She quotes Katherine May’s memoir, Wintering, in which she says, “Plants and animals do not fight winter; they don’t pretend it doesn’t happen and try to continue the same life as in the summer.

‘They are preparing. They adapt. They perform extraordinary acts of metamorphosis to get them through.

‘But that’s where the transformation happens. Once we stop wishing it were summer, winter can be a glorious season when the world takes on a sparse beauty and even the sidewalks sparkle.

‘It is a time for reflection and recovery, for slow replenishment, for putting your house in order.’

Make it special

“Lean into the activities and feelings unique to this time of year,” Kari writes.

“Enjoy socializing, enjoy pleasures made possible by the darkness of winter, and create and enjoy rituals that give meaning to the season.”

She urges the “proactive pursuit of peace,” whatever that means for you – doing puzzles, knitting, bathing, baking, reading, meditating, painting – by making time for it at least once a day.

Make it a nightly ritual to turn off your big, bright ceiling lights and replace them with small lamps, twinkle lights and candles.

And prioritize cozy traditions like Sunday roasts or Shabbat dinners, dumplings, comfort foods and warming drinks.

“If you like parties and fun,” she writes, “you can host dinner parties, organize a book club, or arrange a soup swap. If you love baking, you can take it a step further and bake something new, or make Valentine’s Day cookies for family, friends and co-workers.”

Tromsø hosts an outdoor film festival every January, while residents celebrate Sami culture in February with activities such as a reindeer race.

‘The key is to make it special: whether you’re alone or with family or friends, make it a real plan and give yourself something to anticipate.’

Go outside

“Layer up and enjoy the outdoors in any weather, experiment with winter bathing and take advantage of the ways your town or city celebrates the season,” says Kari.

This requires you to dress for the weather you have, not the weather you hope for. So invest in a great jacket and waterproof boots, put on extra layers and brave the elements.

Even an extra fifteen minutes outside – sitting on the sidewalk while drinking your morning coffee or taking a quick walk around the block at lunch – can have a significant impact on your mood and energy.

Make it social by inviting a friend for a walk, a bike ride or even a campfire.

And think of the fun things you like to do in the summer: picnicking or beachcombing. Now try it in winter. Most activities can be done in all seasons if you have the right clothing.

Interestingly, she says that learning to embrace winter can also better equip us to deal with life’s other dark, difficult seasons.

‘How do we respond to situations over which we have no control?’ she asks. ‘How do we respond to circumstances that we did not choose?

“Do we shrink and wither, or do we turn inward with intention and cultivate moments of joy? Do we focus on frustration, or do we seek wonder and connection to get through it?

‘And, more importantly, which mindsets motivate us, consciously or unconsciously? Is our way of thinking holding us back or driving us forward?’

Winter, she says, is more than just a season in nature. “Winters – times of challenge, struggle or sadness – can invade our communities, our homes and our lives in unexpected ways and at unexpected times.

‘The strategies I observed in my research into how people around the world are boosting winter can help us weather any storm – snow or otherwise.

“The same practices that help us embrace and enjoy winter can also help us through difficult seasons of life.”

How to Hibernate: Use Your Mindset to Thrive on Cold, Dark, or Difficult Days by Kari Leibowitz PhD is published by Penguin Life