I looked through my ‘perfect’ boyfriend’s phone while he was sleeping. I’m glad I did because what I found was horrifying

A woman was left stunned when she searched her ‘perfect’ boyfriend’s phone while he slept – and discovered thousands of messages insulting her and humiliating their sex life.

Lily*, from the US, thought she had the ‘healthiest relationship ever’ with a man who was ‘loving’ and ‘caring’ – and she expected to spend her life with him.

But a gut feeling woke her up in the middle of the night and made her secretly look up her name in his phone.

Lily was exposed to ‘dirty’ texts between her boyfriend and his friends in which he mocked her body, claimed he ‘hated’ their sex life and revealed he ‘couldn’t stand her in public’.

“He and his friends spent hours making fun of what I said, humiliating and embarrassing me,” Lily shared through tears. “Any insecurities I had were spelled out in his group chats and turned into a punchline.”

She shared her story online in a now-deleted post.

“I don’t allow looking through phones; I think it’s wrong and an invasion of privacy. I had no reason to look at his phone, but what I found shocked me to my core.

‘He called my private parts ‘weird’, said he hated the things I did in bed and made mean jokes, saying things like, ‘It would be warm, but not if Lily does it’ or ‘ It’s hot for a moment, but then this bitch opens her damn mouth.”

Lily also shared that she was openly pansexual and worked with many LGBTQ+ nonprofits, which led to her boyfriend calling her the “f-slur.”

‘He had endless conversations about how he ‘can’t stand me’, that ‘I’m so damn lame’. He said I never add anything to conversations and that he is only with me for sex,” she wrote.

She revealed that most of her boyfriend’s energy went into describing how much he hated her and wanted to break up with her.

“Everything was so misogynistic and homophobic, and he said women should never be in charge of anything because we are the reason the world is going to shit.”

Lily was exposed to ‘dirty’ texts between her boyfriend and his friends in which he mocked her body, claimed he ‘hated’ their sex life and revealed he ‘couldn’t stand her in public’.

Lily felt lost and confused because the man in the messages bore no resemblance to the kind boyfriend she had come to know and love.

‘It felt like I was reading the messages from a stranger, and not from my loving and supportive friend. He was endlessly supportive, saying how much he loved talking about the things I was passionate about. I thought we shared the same values.

‘We never had an argument, we spent all our time together, he went out of his way for me all the time. He went out of his way to get to know my friends. Whenever I had problems in our relationship, we would talk about it and he would step up in the perfect way.”

She revealed that she had never seen anyone with such a split personality.

‘I broke up with him straight away, he tried to explain it away but I couldn’t listen to him. It was one of the weirdest breakups ever, I feel so sick.”

Lily felt lost and confused because the man in the messages bore no resemblance to the kind boyfriend she had come to know and love

Thousands were equally shocked by the situation in Jekyll and Hyde.

“I could never stay with someone who would portray me as horrible in front of their friends for validation. So humiliating and honestly unforgivable,” one woman said.

‘Psychopath and narcissist. Lying and manipulation at the highest level,” wrote another. “Someone who enjoys being those kinds of people or fitting in with those kinds of people is really crazy.”

A third said: ‘I’m sorry you’re going through this, a good man wouldn’t share any information about your intimate life, let alone say disgusting things about you. I hope you realize that you didn’t know the real him, and that you don’t grieve that you lost him.’

*Names have been changed for privacy reasons.

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