I keep crying after sex – and I have no idea why

After I have sex with my partner, I immediately start crying. I don’t even have to think twice before tears come out of my eyes. I would like to understand why. I don’t feel sad per se, I just feel so many things – I can’t really explain it.

It is not unusual to cry after sex and this tendency is known as post-coital dysphoria. Some people even laugh after sex. In fact, a wide range of emotions can arise, caused by hormones that can be released during a sexual experience, such as oxytocin, dopamine, endorphins and others.

Having a sexual episode with more pleasure, plus an intense emotional connection with your partner, can be quite overwhelming. Once it’s over, there may be a sense of loss and sadness as your feelings return to normal.

There are also cases where people who experience problems or stress in their relationship, are ambivalent about their partner, or have trust issues may face strong feelings of many different kinds after sharing intimacy with the person in question. Try to accept that this is just part of your sexuality… at least for now.

  • If you would like advice from Pamela on sexual matters, please send us a brief description of your concerns to private.lives@theguardian.com (please do not include attachments). Each week Pamela chooses one problem to answer, which is published online. She regrets that she cannot conduct personal correspondence. Our general terms and conditions apply to submissions.

Related Post