I invited every child in my daughter’s class to her birthday party except one – now mums are calling me a ‘bully’

A mother has asked if she is wrong for not inviting her daughter’s best friend to her 13th birthday.

The 36-year-old planned a sleepover at a trampoline park and invited 19 students to her daughter’s class, unaware she was leaving one out.

Then on the day of the party an extra girl, Kamilla, arrived with her mother and a box full of presents.

‘When we booked the event, [my daughter] said to book only 19 places. “I asked her if she was sure she wasn’t missing anyone, but she assured me there were only 19 kids in her class and I was just remembering wrong,” the mother wrote on Reddit.

‘When Kamilla went up to hug my daughter and wish her a happy birthday, she gently pushed her away and told Kamilla she couldn’t attend because we had forgotten to reserve her spot.

‘I apologized to Kamilla and her mother and offered to speak to those responsible and pay for her place, but my daughter insisted Kamilla could not come. Kamilla was very upset about this and started sobbing.

‘I took my daughter aside and asked her why Kamilla couldn’t join us, even though they used to be friendly and she had invited all the other students in her year. “She said Kamilla was just really weird, obsessive and creepy, and she didn’t want to be friends with her anymore,” the mother continued.

‘I asked her if Kamilla was bullying her and she said no, she just didn’t want to be with Kamilla. Kamilla’s mother had heard about the party through another parent and Kamilla decided to surprise my daughter, knowing she had not received an invitation.’

The mother returned the gifts, apologized and explained that there was not enough room to participate.

“Her mother started yelling at me and telling me I was a grown woman bullying a pre-teen girl. “I told her it was my daughter’s birthday party and she could invite whoever she wanted,” the post continued.

‘She accused me of raising my daughter to be a bully, and that she couldn’t just invite the whole class and exclude one girl. She claimed that Kamilla was my daughter’s ‘best friend’ and that she was right to be invited.”

The ‘best friend’ and her mother showed up at the party unannounced with a gift, but were turned away as there was no room to join in (stock image)

To diffuse the situation, the mother explained that she couldn’t force her daughter to invite someone “just to be nice” and that she “didn’t want to raise a doormat.”

“I didn’t want to teach her to value other people’s feelings at the expense of her own. “When my daughter feels uncomfortable around someone, I prioritize HER well-being over that of a stranger,” she continued.

Kamilla’s mother is now speaking to the teachers at school in the hope that the daughter will not be punished for ‘bullying’.

‘I tried to explain to her that my daughter was just setting her boundaries, she shouldn’t have to face any consequences for that. Kamilla’s mother said I was an “evil b****” who “delighted in bullying little girls”. Am I the hole?’

Many were quick to respond with blunt criticism of the mother’s decision.

“The real problem here is that your daughter lied to you about the class size so she could exclude this one person. It’s possible that Kamilla makes your daughter feel uncomfortable, but it’s also possible that your daughter is being unnecessarily mean. With teens it can go either way,” one Redditor wrote.

“I think you should go to school and find out what’s going on. You can’t know if your daughter is a bully until you find out for yourself.

‘If she is bullying Kamilla, you need to know so you can correct the behavior. Don’t be so quick to believe that your daughter is innocent. Someone told Kamilla she could come to this party. Ask yourself: How did Kamilla know where the party was and what time it started?’

A third said: ‘If this one student hasn’t bullied her, which isn’t rude, just ‘weird’, then your daughter is actively isolating and bullying a girl who ‘just doesn’t fit in’. YTA, and your daughter too.”

Others said the mother was not wrong for standing up for her daughter.

“I may be in the minority here, but [you’re] not the hole. Children calling someone weird is like adults calling someone scary: the person makes you feel uncomfortable. Showing up to a party uninvited with so many gifts is strange behavior for a child, and creepy for an adult,” one person said.

‘I’m not leaning towards the hole. It reads like stalking/obsessive behavior or love bombing. To bring so many gifts to a party you’re not invited to,” said another.

“It’s not your daughter’s fault that this ‘friend’ makes her feel uncomfortable and all that. Not the hole to stand up to your daughter,” someone else said.