I have two kids who are rude, entitled and throw tantrums the moment I say ‘no’: Here’s my drastic plan to handle them
A frustrated mum has said she ‘ruined it as a parent’ by giving her children everything and making every moment as special as possible.
Taking to Reddit, the mother of two complained that she felt entitled to her children, and admitted it was entirely her fault.
She explained that she is a cycle-breaking parent and wanted to give her children, who are three and seven years old, the life she never had – but didn’t realize this would make them ungrateful.
“I gave them everything because it made me feel like I was giving everything to myself. But I wasn’t. I just took on more and didn’t teach them what real life is,” she said.
She has decided, and her husband agrees, that it is time for her children to be “bored.”
‘No more experiencing extraordinary pleasure every day. No more ‘playgrounds are the norm’ or ‘surely you can get that toy from the store on this random Saturday’. Instead, we’ll do chores. We’re going to be bored,” she said.
A frustrated mother has said she ‘ruined it as a parent’ by giving her children everything and making every moment as special as possible
Plus, this is the only way she can think of to bring her children back to reality.
‘I’m tired of entitlement, of ingratitude. I’m tired. And we have to deal with the tantrums that come from having to do chores and the boredom, otherwise we are doing these children a disservice,” she said.
The post ‘blew up’ causing the mother to clarify a few things.
“I’m not talking about punishing my kids with chores. We are not a family based on punishment,” she said.
And defended her decision to label life as boring.
“To those of you who say that life isn’t boring most of the time and you don’t get what you want most of the time… I would like to say that life isn’t like that for you, because you’ve learned how to make your life “not boring most of the time.” ‘ and how to pursue what you want.
“Life is boring most of the time…unless you learn how not to make life boring. Because no one just comes along to not make your life boring.’
People congratulated the mother for “realizing her mistakes early.”
“And you didn’t mess up, by the way… they won’t even remember. It’s a good reminder for all of us… for those of us who stuff and overstimulate our kids all the time, and for those of us who feel guilty for not doing enough,” one person said.
‘Boredom breeds imagination and ideas. We rob them of that if they don’t have the time to stop and think every now and then.’
Others said they had done the same – after being nagged by ‘the grandparents’ to always be there for their children, despite this not being feasible in reality.
“Grandparents can say that because they remember the highlights and confuse them with every day. Of the 100 memories, if 80 of them are of trips and vacations and fun outings, it’s because they’ve forgotten the 6,494 other days that were just… eating food, playing outside, doing laundry, regular days,” one person said.
Most people had fond memories of playing alone while their parents worked or cleaned the house.
“I played with my dolls and made cities out of VHS tapes or whatever I could find.”
Even professionals agreed that the mother made a good decision to limit her children’s entertainment.
‘As a babysitter, one of my biggest pet peeves is parents who think their children need to be stimulated every second of the day. Constant activities, day trips, a whole curriculum every day for their two-year plans,” one woman said.
Others agreed that they had very few “out of the ordinary” moments as children, which made them all the more wonderful.