I follow a five gift rule for my kids at Christmas… but I’m so sick of the parent shaming
A British mother has hit back at those who harass parents about the amount of gifts they buy for their children at Christmas.
The video from Jaywhich goes by the name @socialwithjay_ on TikTok, has been seen by more than 70,000 people in a week.
She told viewers: ‘I can’t believe how many trolls I’ve seen on this app over the last few weeks about Christmas presents.
‘It’s absolutely insane that people think they have the right to pop up on people’s posts talking about gifts they buy for people and tell them it’s not enough.
‘Someone I follow recently made national news because her video went viral of her spending £100 on her stepdaughter. She showed what she had to offer, there was definitely a lot of it.’
A British mother has hit back at those who harass parents about the amount of gifts they buy for their children at Christmas
The mum added: ‘The comments on that post were absolutely disgusting and for all the people giving her hate for probably buying around 30 gifts worth £100, guess what? In my house we use the five-gift rule.’
She explained that the five-gift rule means that each of her children gets five presents: something you want, something you need, something to wear, something to read and something to share.
They write down their answers to the questions and end with “anything they want.”
Jay asked, “What do you think about that?” Five gifts each, something we decided to do because of years of buying crap that was never played with.
“We sat down with the kids and said, look, we’d rather spend our money on experiences and memories around Christmas.
‘We’re even going away for Christmas this year. We booked a cottage, they have an indoor pool that you can swim in on Christmas Day.
‘We go out for Christmas dinner, that’s what we spend our money on.
She admitted: “I do put a few little surprises in there, but usually it’s like pajamas, some chocolate coins, something like that.
Jay’s video, which goes by the name @socialwithjay_ on TikTok, has been viewed by more than 70,000 people in a week
“They get everything they want, they’re happy and they get all the memories. They can go to Santa Claus, they can go to the Christmas market, they can stay in a flipping house for a few days.
‘Yes, they get fewer presents just from us, they have loads of family who buy them presents, but Christmas isn’t about buying rubbish that children don’t want or need.
“If you want to be one of those parents who puts a huge pile of presents in front of the tree and posts on their Facebook saying ‘it’s gone’ to make yourself look good, then go ahead.
But there are families where you can’t afford that, so don’t make them feel bad because they can’t do it, and two, they don’t want to do it because their kids don’t expect it.
The TikToker concluded: ‘I’m sorry but the comments on that video, and that’s not the only one I’ve seen quite a few now, just makes me sick that these are the kind of people we have – parents shame other parents for what they buy their children for Christmas.
‘It’s disgusting. If you don’t have anything nice to say to people, maybe just shut up.’
The commenters were quick to agree with Jay, writing: ‘My mum spent £20 each on us as that was all we could afford.
“We never felt like we missed anything, we were never upset because she gave us one thing that money can’t buy, and that was the feeling of Christmas magic. Some people need to get a grip!’
Another added: ‘Totally agree with you. As well as the comments about buying socks etc. I spent £2000 last year because I always feel like it’s not enough.’
Others agreed: “I’d rather have one meaningful gift than a bunch of things unwanted and unused… and that’s a great idea (5 gift rule)” and “I love the idea of 5 gifts!” It’s too late this year, but I might be able to use it in the future. Thank you!!’
However, another mother wrote: ‘I buy a lot for my children because I don’t do it all year round, only when they need the essentials. It’s not all toys. I buy shoes, clothes, bedding and some toys.
I was told I bought too much. My attitude is I work hard, my money, my kids, so trolling works both ways.”
Another reasoned: ‘I think if parents want to get THEIR kids 5 presents that’s fine and if they want to get 50 presents that’s fine too, everyone is in different situations.’