I donated my sperm to my sister-in-law after she couldn’t find the right donor, now I’m uncle to my biological son
A man has revealed that he donated his sperm so that his sister-in-law could get pregnant, making him the uncle of his biological son.
Adam Zayden, 25, from Newham, London, knew his sister Jade, 29, and her wife Eefje, 30, had been trying for a child since 2018 but couldn’t find a donor.
Every time he spoke to them, they sounded ‘increasingly frustrated’ and after three years, Adam suggested that he donate his own sperm to Eefje.
She got pregnant after six months of trying, inseminating herself at home with Jade’s help, after Adam had ‘done his thing’.
Their baby boy, now 16 months old, was born on March 18, 2023, weighing 9 pounds. Jade says her baby has “the butt chin of me and Adam,” but looks more like Eefje.
Adam Zayden (pictured), 25, from Newham, London, donated his sperm to his sister-in-law and is now the uncle of his biological son
Jade (pictured left), 29, and her wife Eefje (pictured right), 30, welcomed their son (pictured center) in March last year
Adam, a social media influencer, said: ‘They got so frustrated with the donation process – it just felt like the right and easy thing to do.
“This whole process has brought me so much closer to my sister and her partner. Now they have a little boy and I’m so happy for them.”
Jade, researcher and developer, and Eefje, veterinarian, live in Amsterdam and always wanted to have children together.
“Having children was always something Eefje wanted,” Jade said. She continued, “I wasn’t sure because of our little sister and how much work that was.
“But ultimately I was so happy that we were able to start our own little family,” she added, “and I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
The couple chose sperm donation because adoption seemed like a long and expensive process.
Despite asking some mutual friends to donate sperm, it all failed.
Adam said: ‘They live in the Netherlands. Artificial insemination is not covered by health insurance, so the search can be quite extensive.’
Adam said the decision to donate his sperm was ‘easy’ because he doesn’t want children of his own
Eefje and Jade discovered that a number of sperm donors asked if they could become pregnant in a ‘natural’ way: through unprotected sex.
Adam said: ‘They had met some nice people. But they had quite an unfortunate situation where everything was going really well at the beginning.
‘They even drew up a donor contract with him. That is an agreement in which you record how you want the donation to proceed.
“But he literally turned around and said he wanted to do it the natural way. He wanted to sleep with my sister-in-law, which was never in their reach.
Adam continued, “The idea was that he would take himself to the bathroom. Then my sister-in-law inseminates herself.”
The influencer wanted to help his sister and her partner after they struggled to find a sperm donor
He said his sister, who lives in Amsterdam, became “frustrated” with the process of finding a donor after several plans failed
Eefjie and Jade called Adam in 2021 to ask him if he was open to donating his sperm
Although they did not have to pay compensation to the donors, they often lost money on the trip to meet them.
Eefje and Jade were becoming increasingly frustrated with the process. ‘It was really an emotional rollercoaster,’ Jade added.
She continued, “Because you’re opening yourself up in the most vulnerable times. You’re essentially welcoming strangers into your life. You’re then depending on strangers to help you fulfill one of your biggest dreams.”
Eefje said: ‘You are also exposed to a lot of potential hate. Whether that is because of sharing your experience, or just in general while searching for a donor.’
In 2021, they called Adam to explain how hopeless they felt and asked him if he would consider donating his sperm.
He said, “They joked before about me giving them mine.”
“After all their trials and tribulations, they called me sometime in 2021 and basically just said, ‘We’re really struggling with this,’ and asked if I was okay with it.”
Before Adam donated his sperm, he had to undergo several tests by doctors to check if he was a suitable donor
The 29-year-old influencer said donating his sperm to his sister-in-law wasn’t a ‘big deal’
Adam has visited the baby several times, who will call him his ‘uncle’ or ‘Adam bibi’
Adam said it was an easy decision to make. Since he doesn’t want to have children of his own in the future, he thought it was a good opportunity to help his sister.
“It really wasn’t that big of a deal,” he said. He continued, “I’m a queer person myself, and I don’t really see myself having kids.”
Before Adam could donate, he had to undergo a number of tests to determine if he was a suitable donor.
He took an STD test, which came back positive, and also had his sperm quality tested. “I found out I’m very fertile,” he said. Adam added: “That’s always fun to find out.”
The doctors then asked him to take a ‘pill’ to increase sperm production and to keep a close eye on when Eefje ovulated.
He said: ‘Every night that week Jade took the dog for a walk. I went upstairs, did my thing and gave Eefje the sperm.’
Adam did this six to seven days a month, between December 2021 and June 2022.
In June 2022, Eefje discovered she was pregnant and their baby was born in March 2023.
“I’ve met him a few times now,” Adam said. He continued, “I’m his uncle, but I’m known as ‘bibi.’
Jade said: ‘It wasn’t until we really got the process going that we realised how great it was to have someone like Adam helping us.
“It was nice to have someone you really know and trust because it’s such an emotional time.”