I believe pre-nups are so important that every couple should be forced to sign one – says Mr Loophole Nick Freeman

The countdown to the wedding was marked by a flurry of activity. Invitations to send, menus to confirm, flowers to think about and countless other arrangements to make.

But in the midst of it all, we both believed that as a couple it was crucial to plan for what would happen if our marriage took a certain path.

Sorry, did you think I meant signing a prenuptial agreement, colloquially known as a “prenuptial agreement”? Not really.

This was 33 years ago (1991), a time when such contracts were considered little more than a gimmick and society remained largely suspicious of the idea of ​​a plan to divide the spoils of a broken marriage before vows were even exchanged .

Instead, the topic of discussion was what would happen if we started a family.

Protection: Around 18 million married Brits living in Britain still haven’t put in place a prenuptial agreement to help divide their assets if their relationship breaks down

After which we agreed on a ‘traditional arrangement’ where I would be the breadwinner and my wife-to-be would perform the crucial task of caring for the children.

After all, I was already a senior partner at a top firm of criminal lawyers, with a demanding career of often seventy hours a week.

Our agreement meant that I could provide for the family (beautifully), while we were both assured that all children would receive the best care.

However, after twenty years (and two children), the marriage had broken down. By then my career had skyrocketed into the stratosphere.

I have been named Britain’s leading lawyer by the media and given the badge of ‘Mr Loophole’ thanks to a seemingly unstoppable run of winning cases, not least in legal technicalities.

I have represented celebrities, sports stars, politicians, captains of industry – and was even the subject of two television documentaries with Trevor McDonald.

Since we didn’t have a prenuptial agreement, nor did we want to go through a lengthy lawsuit, we split the pot in a fair and mutually agreed upon manner. One thing was clear to me. I would never get married again without a prenuptial agreement. Every costly break was one too many.

My position was supported by a landmark legal ruling that happened around the same time in 2010.

It involved German heiress Katrin Radmacher, who won a case at the Court of Appeal to enforce a marriage contract that left her ex-husband without access to her multi-million pound fortune.

The case showed that a fair prenuptial agreement could be persuasive in influencing the division of assets.

However, I think the time has come to go one step further and make having a prenup a mandatory legal requirement for anyone who wants to get married. Not least because it was recently revealed that around 18 million married Brits in Britain still don’t have one.

It may sound draconian, and romantics may recoil in horror at such strong-arm tactics, undoubtedly dismissing me as a tough lawyer with an even tougher heart.

How on earth can it be the place of the law to stop couples in love from tying the knot if they don’t agree to sign a legal document that makes it clear who gets what – and when – if the marriage ends in divorce? should end?

Still, I would argue that drawing up a prenuptial agreement together is actually – and counterintuitively – a romantic gesture.

A survey found that as many as one in seven British couples over 40 admit they never talk to each other about their finances!

I would even describe it as a beautiful document because if the marriage works, you won’t have to mention it again and if it doesn’t, you will both be spared from stress and financial uncertainty.

Drafting a document before a whiff of confetti has been spread is not only fair when it comes to protecting the funds and assets you both bring to the union. It’s also a salutary reminder that divorce can be a lonely experience.

In fact, the very existence of such a document can help to negate the desire to part ways.

Likewise, having such a difficult conversation about finances before walking down the aisle would encourage couples to communicate openly about their expectations. A survey found that as many as one in seven British couples over 40 admit they never talk to each other about their finances!

And while this is not my area of ​​law, it should also be noted that attorneys charge much less for prenuptial agreements than they would in a divorce case where everyone is trying to get a bite. That happens a lot, as an estimated 42 percent of marriages in the country end in divorce.

Above all, why should wealth earned through hard work be transferred to someone who played no role in ensuring one partner’s success?

I’m tired of the idea that a spouse should be entitled to a windfall because he or she was once part of your life, like a twisted subscription service.

Furthermore, a prenup flushes out potentially predatory partners. Believe me, I have met my fair share of women who saw my beautiful home in Cheshire and my second home in France, acquired through long hours at work, as an attractive proposition.

A marriage contract would have confirmed whether such women were interested in me or my money.

I must emphasize that it does not always involve large amounts of cash. But the principle remains.

A prenuptial agreement ensures that the assets and money built up during the marriage are protected, no matter how much or little you bring along, while limiting emotional strain (not least if there are children involved). Without one divorce, things can be ugly.

Today I live with my partner, Melissa. We are deeply committed to each other and I recently adopted her – now our – wonderful 13 year old son Pierce. Marriage is a topic of conversation and there is one thing we both agree on: a prenup is non-negotiable.

If only there was a law that ensured that couples who intended to say “I do” were forced to say “I do.”

MELISSA: I agree with Nick that a prenuptial agreement is essential for anyone getting married. I know what it’s like to work hard to earn money and then give it away – which is what happened with my first childless marriage many years ago.

To achieve that, both partners must protect what they have earned or sacrificed.

Nick and I had contracts drawn up when I moved in with Pierce and before Nick adopted Pierce.

While romance is an important part of a relationship, marriage is also a business deal when it comes to money. There is no need to confuse the two. Discussing a prenup before getting married can be a difficult conversation, but it’s a safe way to make sure everyone knows where they stand.

What’s fairer?