A woman who used drugs during her eight pregnancies has spoken out about what it’s like to be in the grip of an addiction to methamphetamine and the devastating effects on babies.
Although she’s now clean after 19 years of battling substance abuse, Terrianne, 32, still used ice in the first three months of her last pregnancy before getting help.
“It was hard, like I feel lucky now that it wasn’t[using drugs]all the way through like the other[pregnancies]in the past,” she shared The four corners of ABC.
“In one of my kids, they withdrew (from ice cream) and it was because I used it all through pregnancy.”
Terrianne said she “couldn’t stop (using meth). I was still in that heavy addiction,’ and with that baby ‘There were jitters, the body would always want to shake, very hard to settle down.’
A woman who has used drugs during her eight pregnancies has spoken out about what it’s like to be in the grips of a methamphetamine addiction and how it affects a baby. Stock image of meth smoking
This is normal for the thousands of babies born in Australia to mothers who consumed ice late in their pregnancy, with painful withdrawal symptoms leading to feeding difficulties.
“They can have real problems with their jaw coordination, which means they can’t suck the bottle or the breast,” said midwife Elvira Earthstar of the Women’s Alcohol and Drug Service at Melbourne’s Royal Women’s Hospital.
“These babies may also present with tremors or jitters. So just a very pronounced vibration in their hands.’
The difficulty in feeding can then lead to further developmental problems.
“If we don’t take action to really get the right amount of milk into them, they could start missing some … milestones,” Ms. Earthstar said.
Terrianne said that while she previously blamed herself for using drugs while pregnant, she now understands that she is also a victim.
‘It’s not really my fault. Something happened to me when I was a 13 year old kid that made my addiction start from the age of 13. That’s all I really knew. It was just a repetitive cycle.’
She explained why the use of drugs often trumped the safety of the baby growing inside her.
‘It was difficult. I have tried many times to quit but I think the more you take the longer you take it the addiction just stays there. Addiction is a very vicious cycle,” she said.
Alysha, 24, is another woman who finds it hard to reconcile why she took drugs during her pregnancy.
“I never wanted to be a pregnant drug user,” she said. “I had no intention of getting pregnant, so I was already using when I got pregnant.”
Like Terrianne, there are deep-seated reasons why Alysha started taking drugs in the first place.
“A lot of things happened in the last three years that I’ve tried to forget, so I just used (drugs). I was just surviving,” she said.
“But I thought, how am I going to live with myself when I have this baby and know I used when I was pregnant…
“I feel like I’m on drugs when I’m pregnant, that’s the lowest I could have ever reached. It’s the one thing I said I’d never, never, never, never do and I did.’
For many years, Alysha found it very difficult to get the help she needed.
“There have been times in my life where I’ve been lying in hospitals and begging for help and crying and they just looked at me like you’re a worthless junkie,” she said.
Although she is now clean after 19 years of drug addiction, Terrianne (pictured with baby Lockie) still used ice in the first three months of her last pregnancy before getting help
“There’s so much shame and guilt that just puts people off reaching out and saying, ‘Hey, I’m pregnant and I need help.'”
During her pregnancy, she finally got help at Bridgehaven, a women-only rehabilitation program run by the Salvation Army in Melbourne, where Terrianne also stayed.
Alysha said she did not use ice through during her pregnancy, but had used cannabis.
“If you’re going through a trauma and an addiction at the same time, it’s embarrassing to seek help as a pregnant person who uses drugs,” she said.
“But if I can do it and get better and be a good person to me and my child, maybe I can help someone else.”
But she is aware that her drug use in the early stages of her pregnancy could affect her daughter’s development. “I’ll have to live with that,” she said.
The Women’s Alcohol and Drug Service at Melbourne’s Royal Women’s Hospital (pictured) helps women who are pregnant while addicted to drugs or alcohol
“But this girl seems to be very strong and she’s made it this far and I feel like she’ll make it to the end and we’ll be fine. We’re in the right place.’
Terrianne also feels she’s in the right place – she’s left Bridgehaven with a healthy baby Lockie and now has her own place.
‘I never thought I would make it. Never thought I would get rid of my addiction. Never thought I would hold this beautiful child in my arms,” she said.
“I hate to use the word perfect, but he’s pretty perfect.”
National hotline for alcohol and other drugs 1800 250 015
Family Drug Support Australia 1300 368 186
Medication Support and Recovery Service 1800 931 101
Lifeline 13 11 14