A mother has sparked heated arguments after revealing that she continues to invite her son’s ex-girlfriend to family gatherings – even considering her as a daughter.
The anonymous parent, believed to be from the US, shared her dilemma Reddit’s ‘Am I the A******’ forum.
In her post, the woman explained how her son — now 27 — broke up with his high school girlfriend when they went to college, but she’s still a big part of the family.
Now her son is married to someone else and his wife is not happy that his ex is still invited to a family event but the mother stands her ground saying she is like a daughter to her and a difficult relationship has with her own parents.
Commentators remained divided, with some claiming it would be wrong to exclude the ex, who is in fact part of the family, while others sided with the daughter-in-law, saying they understand why she is upset.
An unnamed US mom took to Reddit to explain her predicament after being pressured to exclude her son’s ex from family gatherings (stock image)
The mother explained that she considers her son’s ex a daughter and that her husband will escort her down the aisle at her upcoming wedding
The mother explained, “She is our daughter in my eyes. Her family are terrible people and she sees us as her parent figures.’
Moreover, the woman also revealed that her husband will escort Sabrina down the aisle at her upcoming nuptials.
When they broke up, the mother revealed that her son “wasn’t happy” that his parents refused to “drop” Sabrina.
However, he made peace with it and did not resist when his parents continued to invite his ex to family gatherings.
That being said, the woman’s daughter-in-law recently confronted her about the fact that Sabrina is always present at important family moments.
She gave context to her relationship with her son’s wife, explaining, “We never hit it off, we don’t have much in common and they live two hours away so it’s hard to plan things out to get to know her better.” I’m really sure it will grow over time.”
Recently, the woman hosted a family picnic and described how “Sabrina was normal there. I thought the night was fun.’
But she said her daughter-in-law “came up to me at the end of the night and said she’s not comfortable with her ex-husband everywhere and if I (could stop inviting) her to family things.”
In response, the mother-in-law told her that her son’s ex was part of the family and had been in their lives much longer than her.’
A number of commentators said it would be unfair to abandon her son’s ex, who is part of the family, just to spare his new wife’s feelings.
She said her son has now labeled her an a***** for choosing his ex “instead of my now real family.”
The mother asked other members of the forum to weigh in and said her husband agreed that their daughter-in-law is “crazy” but admitted they were biased.
The post sparked a heated debate in the group – with some claiming the daughter-in-law was wrong.
One of them replied, “Oh come on, the ex has been in the family circle for years at this point. She is engaged and her husband will escort her down the aisle. She has done nothing wrong and should not be excluded from her family (blood does not always make family).
“The woman is unsure what happens, but OP is right that if you don’t invite her to family events she’s been going to for ages, it would basically say I don’t think you’re my family anymore.”
Another said there is nothing strange about the situation, writing, “I know a few people who were semi-adopted as children by other families, like the girl OP loves as a daughter.
‘That impresses people, especially if the original home situation was a mess.’
Another added: “Some people are just mean. Just look at how many commenters here consider it appropriate and even expected them to abandon a close and long-term relative for no reason at all, except that the relationship that introduced them to the family ended without fail.
“People who can’t handle the existence of a friendly ex of their partner need to grow up mentally.”
The post sparked a heated debate in the group – with the majority claiming the mother-in-law was wrong
Another saw both sides of the argument, adding, “You think of Sabrina as your own child.” She has been invited to things because you have become her surrogate family.
“Bethany isn’t the a****** because she’s upset that someone her husband once loved has been invited to all your family events. I would also be upset if my husband’s ex was brought into his family, while I still struggle to feel part of the family.”
Meanwhile, a third wrote, “I agree with everything you said, but… you should see Sabrina separately from your son and Bethany.”
However, others felt that the mother-in-law should apologize to the couple for her behavior.
One critic said, “She’s not your daughter, she’s your son’s ex and it’s so crazy to keep inviting her to family events when your son has moved on and got married.”
“It was extra rude to be so dismissive and mean to Bethany when she tried to express how uncomfortable she felt. If you want to be friends with his ex, do it when they’re not around.”
Another replied, “You spent the past five years making sure your son knows that you value this relationship with his ex more than his comfort, and now you’re letting his wife know that too.”
“I’m glad she sees you as parental figures, as this will destroy your real relationship with your child.”