My husband’s colleague introduced herself to me as his ‘work wife’ – am I right to be furious?

A woman has revealed how annoyed she was after her husband’s female colleague introduced herself as ‘his work wife’.

Taking to British parenting platform Mumsnet, the irritated wife revealed that the wife patted her husband on the stomach at a work event over the summer and made a comment about how she’s “packing his lunches from now on” because his wife “makes them too big ‘.

The woman revealed she snapped at her husband’s colleague and said: ‘who the hell are you?’ before the woman quickly left the awkward conversation.

Now, however, her partner is annoyed by the way she responded and calls her “rude” for overreacting to an innocent comment.

When she asked for advice, she questioned whether it was unreasonable for her to have reacted this way, saying she can’t decide whether she is furious with her husband or devastated that he is angry with her.

Read the message: ‘Yesterday afternoon we went to a summer work event organized by DH’s work. It was a kind of organized garden party and I had been looking forward to it for ages, bought a new dress, etc.

‘About 10 minutes later a woman came up to us (actually more towards him as I was two steps away from a drink at the time) and said hello. When I turned back she said very effusively ‘so nice to meet you’ and then immediately said ‘but I have a bone to pick with you – you need to stop packing John so much to eat because it’s going straight ahead. here!”.

“She fucking patted his stomach!!!” Then he kept saying something about maybe she should bring his lunch from now on, followed by a horrible laugh that made me want to punch her in the face.

“I think I said, ‘what the hell?’ or “who the hell are you?”, I can’t remember which. Anyway, her face fell and she started to calm me down.”

She continued, “She said she obviously came off wrong, it’s just that she’s his work wife and she was just relaxed because she feels like she already knows me from John talking about me so much. The whole interaction lasted maybe 20 seconds. She ‘suddenly spotted a friend she wanted to catch’ and took off very quickly.”

The poster went on to say that her husband was “furious” with her for being “rude” to his co-worker, and that they did not speak for the rest of the evening.

She added: “Today he very coldly said that my behavior is making him question things, which I assume means we are questioning our marriage. I can’t decide if I’m furious with him or devastated that he’s angry with me, or both.

‘I still have no idea who this woman is who feels so comfortable that she can pat my husband on the back. Am I so unreasonable that I reacted this way?’

Taking to the parenting platform, the irritated wife revealed that the woman patted her husband on the stomach during a work event over the summer and made a comment about how she will be packing his lunches from now on because his wife makes them too big.

People rushed to the comments with their own thoughts, with some saying the female colleague was “overfamiliar, inappropriate and rude.”

One person said: ‘SHE was overly familiar, inappropriate and rude. I would have been furious and responded in exactly the same way OP.

“This whole ‘work wife’ thing is total bullshit and your husband shouldn’t be encouraging her.

“It could just be his flattered ego, but sorry to say, are you sure they’re not having an affair?!”

Another said: ‘I probably would have reacted the same way you did! As far as I’m concerned, she’s crossed the line. He wouldn’t break the marriage over this, would he, unless there was something else going on? I hate the term ‘working woman.’

Someone else agreed, saying: ‘Whaaaaaaat, 1 Work lady: no thanks, 2 She sounds annoying, 3 It was perfectly normal to be somewhat surprised by this strangeness, 4 He should have told you about her if he was going to be like this It.

“YOU should be annoyed at HIM because he has a damn ‘work wife’, ewww. I wouldn’t automatically say LTB on this, but it needs to be talked about over and over again until the sting of what happened and his reaction to it is gone, and I suppose the sting of you being rude in his mind (even though I am firmly on your side) has also disappeared.’

People rushed to the comments with their own thoughts, with some saying the female colleague was ‘overfamiliar, inappropriate and rude’

Meanwhile, others thought the woman was “rude” and completely overreacted to the situation

A fourth said: ‘I’d ask him why he’s more concerned about her feelings than yours. Her behavior was clearly very strange and outrageous, and I think your somewhat rude response was completely justified.

“I would think he has a guilty consciousness in your shoes (unless there’s a huge IV involved, like she’s actually very senior and this could cause him problems professionally).”

Meanwhile, others thought the woman was “rude” and completely overreacted to the situation.

One person said: ‘I agree with your husband. She sounds like every crazy employee my own husband works with.

“Who the hell are you?!” would completely humiliate my husband and he would make sure I would never associate with his colleagues again.

“My job at his work events is to be socially friendly and ingratiate myself with everyone. If your husband is a senior, even more so.”

Another said, “I think the problem here is that a lot of people commenting here haven’t been in that office environment before. this was an innocent altercation and I’m not surprised DH is angry.”

Someone else wrote: ‘Well, you were clearly rude and overreacted. I’m not sure what else there is to say.”