A parenting expert has revealed the one phrase guaranteed to stop a toddler’s tantrum in seconds.
Dr. Justin Coulson, who hosts Nine’s Parental Guidance, informed parents that the best way to calm a crying child is to acknowledge their emotions by clearly stating why they are upset.
Parents often start disciplining or asking them to “stop” or “calm down” in the hopes that their toddler will obey and be quiet – but no adult, let alone a child, wants to hear that when they’re upset.
Dr. However, Coulson shared that one of the “most powerful” things is to practice emotion coaching by “saying what you see.”
The father of six said identifying a child’s emotions and their cause will help children self-regulate and calm their feelings: “If you can name it, you can tame it.”
Dr. Justin Coulson, host of the Nine show Parental Guidance, told parents that the best way to calm a crying child is to acknowledge their emotions and “say what you see”
Dr. Coulson recently helped Sydney parents Mark and Leanne with their three-year-old Baylee.
Parental controls highlighted a video of the toddler crying at the zoo as her father scolds her.
“You need to stop crying, I’ll take you back to the car now if you keep crying,” he said in the clip.
Dr. Coulson went on to reveal that there are several ways parents can work with their children to reduce intense emotions.
He said to Leanne, “Imagine having an emotional moment, and [your husband] looks at you and says, “Leanne, stop it. That’s enough. You need to relax.” Would you look at him and smile and admit that you’re overreacting?”
The mother then admitted that she would be upset and that her “arms would fly all over the place” in anger.
Dr. Coulson recently helped Sydney parents Mark and Leanne with their three-year-old Baylee
“When we’re talking to our partner or our kids, if they’re having a big emotion, one of the most powerful things we can do, other than give them space, is say what we see,” said Dr. Coulson.
The professional introduced the parents to a popular expression of psychologists: “If you can name it, you can tame it.”
Dr. Coulson returned to the family’s video at the zoo and asked Mark what his daughter would have done if he had admitted she was upset about not being able to feed the penguins.
Mark revealed that his daughter would begin to calm down as she would feel seen and understood.
“She’d know I knew why she was upset,” he said.
A parenting expert has revealed the one phrase guaranteed to stop a toddler’s tantrum in seconds
Dr. Coulson said the more emotional a person is, the more difficult it is to communicate with them. That is why it is so important to teach children to regulate their emotions at a young age.
The psychologist explained that the process is called “emotion coaching,” which helps children understand the different emotions they experience, why they occur and how to deal with them.
“No one wants to hear that he needs to calm down,” the doctor said.
“If someone needs to calm down so that a conversation can take place – by naming the emotion first, the child will feel understood and safe, and they can begin to tame that emotion themselves.”
“The reality is that life is unfair – but parents have a duty to teach their children socially acceptable behavior.
“If the child is losing the plot, the parent needs to show the child that while the emotions are acceptable, there is a way we are expected to behave in public.”
Dr. Coulson revealed that the more emotional a person is, the more difficult it is to communicate with them. That is why it is so important to teach children to regulate their emotions at a young age.
“The greatest human need is not to be loved, but to be understood,” he said.