On what would have been her 88th birthday in January, Charles Spencer paid a loving tribute to his mother.
The 60-year-old historian remembered Frances Shand Kydd with “love and gratitude” as he posted a selection of newspaper clippings on social media, including one announcing the birth of his sister Princess Diana.
But the life of Frances, who died 20 years ago today, was particularly tragic and complicated – not least her relationship with her daughter.
She had a troubled marriage to Diana’s father – the future eighth Earl Spencer – which ended in divorce after she fell in love with wallpaper magnate Peter Shand Kydd.
Her four children were left in the care of their father when Diana was seven after a fierce custody battle.
The bitter breakup led to a complex relationship with her youngest daughter. As her brother previously recalled, “Diana was always waiting on the sidewalk, but she never came.”
His mother was, he said, “not fit for pregnancy.”
When Frances said in an interview months before her daughter’s death that it was “absolutely wonderful” that she had been stripped of her HRH title after her divorce from then-Prince Charles, Diana never spoke to her again.
Frances spent the last of her days alone on Seil, one of Scotland’s Slate Islands, where she remained after her second husband left her for a younger woman.
Princess Diana and Frances Shand Kydd, pictured in 1989, had a complicated relationship
Frances (right) married 30-year-old ‘Johnnie’ (left) in 1954 at the age of 18 – her daughter, Princess Diana, and went on to eerily mirror this in her own marriage
Frances was born into the royal world of the Sandringham Estate in Norfolk on January 20, 1936.
From an early age, she socialized in royal circles – her father, Maurice Roche, was friends with King George VI and her mother, Lady Ruth Remoy, was a lady-in-waiting to the Queen Mother.
In 1954, when she was just 18, she married 30-year-old Edward ‘Johnnie’ Spencer.
The couple had their first two daughters, Lady Sarah McCorquodale and Lady Jane Fellowes, in 1955 and 1957 respectively.
Their desperate wish for a son was granted in 1960, but little baby John died just hours after birth.
By the time Diana arrived the following year, Frances’ marriage had become strained after her several pregnancies failed to produce a male Althorp heir.
The birth of Charles in 1964 failed to cure Frances’ relationship problems and in 1967 she fell for married wallpaper magnate Peter Shand Kydd.
In 1969, her divorce was finalized and Frances married her lover. After being nicknamed “the Shooter,” a blazing custody battle with John began.
In the early days of the divorce, Diana and her brother lived with their mother, while Sarah and Jane attended boarding school.
They all eventually returned to live with their father after Frances’ custody attempts were unsuccessful and she moved to Scotland with her new husband.
Earl Spencer walks behind his mother’s coffin during her funeral at St. Columba’s Cathedral in Oban, Scotland
Prince William (second from left) and Prince Harry (center) at their grandmother’s funeral, June 10, 2004
Frances (left) had a difficult marriage to Edward John Spencer (right), whom she married in 1936
The couple had two daughters within a few years, pictured here holding Sarah after her baptism at Westminster Abbey in 1955
However, the marriage between Frances and Johnnie (pictured) failed and ended in flames in 1967 after she fell in love with the married Peter Shand Kydd.
Princess Diana did not speak to her mother after interviewing Hello! magazine before she tragically died in a car accident in Paris on August 31, 1997
Earl Spencer previously opened up about the impact his mother’s absence had on his and Diana’s childhood, including how his sister would wait for her return.
He recalled: ‘As she was packing her things to leave, she promised Diana that she would come back to visit her. Diana was always waiting for her on the doorstep, but she never came.’
He added: “Our father was a silent, constant source of love, but our mother was not cut out for pregnancies… she couldn’t do that. She was in love with someone else, in love actually.’
Earl Spencer still felt able to unveil a portrait of his mother on the occasion of what would have been her 85th birthday in 2021.
Princess Diana (left) and Frances (right) attend the wedding of Charles Spencer, Frances’ youngest child
Frances with her youngest daughter Princess Diana at Wimbledon in 1993
Frances pictured with Princess Diana, Harry and William in 1989
Princess Diana married Prince Charles in 1981, but Frances avoided the spotlight her youngest daughter brought and quietly ran a gift shop in Seil.
In 1988, her second husband left her for a younger woman after almost twenty years.
Frances found solace in religion. She converted to Catholicism at the age of 58 and dedicated her life to the Church.
It was after Diana and Prince Charles divorced in 1996 that Frances returned to the spotlight with an interview with Hello! magazine.
Frances pictured on holiday with Princess Diana (left), Prince Harry and Prince William on Necker Island in 1990
Frances (left) pictured on a beach on Necker Island in 1990 with her daughters Princess Diana, Lady Jane Fellowes and Lady Sarah McCorquodale
She said in May the following year that it was “absolutely wonderful” that Diana, now no longer a member of the royal family, had lost her HRH title.
The interview raised £30,000, which went towards building a place of worship on Iona, but this charity act was not enough to repair the damage to her relationship with her daughter.
In a surprising twist through grief, she formed a close friendship with the priest who kept vigil over Diana’s body after she died in a car crash in Paris.
Doctors at the Pitie-Salpetriere University Hospital in Paris had fought to save the princess’s life but had failed.
Father Yves-Marie Clochard-Bossuet was the chaplain on duty the night Diana died.
He watched over her body for ten hours before Prince Charles and Diana’s two sisters arrived.
He then wrote to Frances after his cousin told him about her strong Catholic faith.
He previously told the Mail: ‘And so I wrote her a very formal letter with all the details [of the day of Diana’s death]. I wanted to tell her mother that the nurses who had cared for her had done a very good job.
‘There was nothing to complain about [even if] it was a hospital room and not in Buckingham Palace. And I told her that I had prayed and stayed until Prince Charles arrived.”
Although he didn’t expect an answer, Frances replied a few days later.
“She thanked me because I was the first to give her information directly,” he said.
Frances (centre) pictured at Princess Diana’s funeral at Westminster Abbey with her daughters Jane (left) and Sarah (right)
Frances came to Paris to meet him and the pair developed a bond.
She returned to the French capital twice a year to meet him and take him out for dinner.
Father Clochard-Bossuet added: ‘Frances Shand Kydd]told me that she often went for a walk at night in London [in the days after Diana’s death] to where flowers were for her. She also talked to me about it a lot [William and Harry]. She loved them.”
Frances continued to live a quiet life after Diana’s death and was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease and brain cancer.
She died on June 3, 2004 at the age of 68 at her home in Scotland. Her funeral on June 10 was attended by her grandsons Prince William and Prince Harry.