How I became overwhelmed: I deleted my email app—and my sleep suddenly improved

As a freelance writer, the structure of my workday can often vary wildly. Sometimes it feels like I have too much to do, other days too little.

But no matter what form my 9 to 5 takes, one thing remains constant: emails. I receive about 100 a day, ranging from the pointless (Tesco Clubcard updates) to the annoying (the PR that keeps sending me the fluctuating numbers of Taylor Swift’s followers on Instagram) and the important (editors, who often wonder when the piece that they asked me to write could become a reality).

Normally the first thing I do after turning off my phone alarm in the morning is check my emails – and the last thing I do before putting my phone away for the evening is open my email app to clear unread messages . All day long my phone buzzes and, always thinking it’s something important, I check it.

About a year ago, I noticed that the tick of checking email had become more distracting than usual. I spent every morning ‘toilet scrolling’ to respond to late-night messages and when I sat at my computer to work, I found myself nervously checking my phone for unread emails every time I got a mental block. . I also had access to emails on my computer, but for some reason I was checking my phone app’s push notifications twice as often.

Worst of all, when I took time to eat lunch or take a walk, the habit of checking or anticipating the buzz of a message came with me, making my breaks an extension of the workday.

The little red dot next to my Gmail app had become a marker of my professional persona: the higher the number of unread emails, the more I felt like I wasn’t doing my job properly. As long as I responded quickly to the people who needed me, I told myself, I would be seen by my paymasters as trustworthy and therefore worth the work it took to pay my electric bill so I could charge my phone. read my emails and continue the endless cycle.

However, speed does not always mean quality. I was always available – but at what cost? I started reacting too quickly, taking on too much work and not giving myself space to think about the value of what I was producing. The content machine was running and I was busy spewing word salad onto the internet.

Something had to change. After a particularly hectic week of non-stop emailing, I decided to delete the email app from my phone.

The first few days without the buzz of notifications I felt skittish – I feared I was missing out on opportunities and instead checked as many emails as possible on my laptop. However, when I took breaks, the difference was immediately noticeable. Being physically away from my computer, I found myself thinking about things other than work, or just not thinking at all. I started resting and resetting better. My sleep quality improved and the persistent content of nightly messages no longer played on my mind.

Now my workdays are still unpredictable, but I’ve realized that a lack of structure doesn’t have to stop me from setting boundaries for myself. Uninterrupted breaks help me to focus when I get back to work and I have found that it often makes no difference to the sender to take a few hours, rather than minutes, to respond to a message and I can understand the content can process it well.

I’m still surviving as a freelancer in a fast-paced industry, but I feel less overwhelmed knowing I can take up space when I need it. Now I can spend my time endlessly checking my phone for Instagram stories and X-spats.