How furious topless sunbather Lily Cook confronted the men who took her photo without her consent

A furious personal trainer says she knew the men who took and shared photos of her sunbaking topless on a beach, and has revealed how she finally pushed them into an admission after initial denials.

Lily Cook was covertly snapped while lying on a beach in Sydney’s eastern suburbs  with her sister on November 12 and only learned hours later that the photos had been shared online.

The PT said she saw three men at the beach – two of whom she knew socially – and had waited until she thought they had left before she took her top off.

Later that night a friend forwarded her a photo and asked if it was her pictured sunbathing topless.

‘The person who sent me the photo confirmed who sent him the photo,’ she said.

‘This is when I realised a photo had been taken of me without my consent and had further been distributed.’

A furious Ms Cook then contacted the men – and their girlfriends – in a group message, and initially they claimed innocence, saying she was accidentally part of a wider landscape photo posted to Instagram by one of their friends.

However she and her sister were lying down in the wider image they referred to, whereas her sister was sitting up in the closer photo that was later shared around.

‘Due to the quality of the image and the angle, it was clear one of the males had snuck closer to me to get a close-up of me topless,’ she wrote.

Finally one of the men owned up to having accessed the photo on the phone of the man who took it, and then sent it to two friends who distributed it further.

‘These men (and I use that word generously) chose to create and corroborate in further lies, embellish stories and gaslight me rather than apologising and admitting this stark and obvious truth,’ she wrote on Instagram. 

‘I can’t help but think of how different this whole process would be if they had the strength and dignity to own their actions and how it can impact a woman.’    

The images covertly taken of Ms Cook, who gave Daily Mail Australia permission to publish them. The differences between the two images unravelled a fake story she was told claiming she was accidentally caught in a wider landscape shot

 The man who had finally admitted to sharing the photo refused to make a statement about it to police and she was told by officers that no charges could be laid as she was in a public place when the photograph was taken. 

‘I’m disappointed because I trusted that something would be done,’ she told the Daily Telegraph . 

No one involved in the incident ever apologised to her for the ‘disgusting, perverted, and juvenile’ act, she said. 

Ms Cook said finding out a photo was shared on group chats ‘had a profoundly detrimental effect upon her mental health’.

‘It is a moment in my life that will haunt me forever,’ she said, vowing to speak out after other women told her the same thing had happened to them.

‘The capture and distribution of [an] explicit image of a woman without her knowledge or consent is both abhorrent and illegal. I am standing up to this issue.’

Chantelle Otten, a sexologist and girlfriend of tennis star and 2022 Australian of the Year Dylan Alcott, gave her support on Instagram.

‘This is so violating and disgusting, I can’t imagine your feelings over the days of this unfolding,’ she wrote.

‘We are all behind you, they are the problem, you are so brave in writing this post. I hope this is not swept under the rug, but adequately dealt with.’ 

Ms Cook said she hoped sharing her story would empower other women who have had similar experiences 

Though there are laws in place to protect victims of ‘revenge porn’ – the distribution of sexually explicit images by a former partner without their consent – does not apply to Ms Cook’s case. 

Police said it was ‘generally not an offence’ to take a photograph of any person in a public place, and only a crime if taken in private. 

‘Of course people should be able to express themselves however they want to, but unfortunately in this social media day and age, others get a kick out of either daring to take pictures when people are unsuspecting, or for the thrill of uploading,’ a senior officer told the Daily Telegraph. 

Another officer, who works in the sex crimes field, said the outcome depended on the circumstances of each individual case, with, for example, instances of children being photographed by strangers warranting further investigation.

Criminal lawyer Matt Ward said the law needed to catch up with changes in how people were using technology, as the division between public and private became blurred by the increased sharing of content on social media platforms. 

RMIT Professor Nicola Henry, an expert in imaged-based sexual abuse, agreed, saying the nuances of consent were yet to be reflected in law. 

She cited the incident in March this year when Married At First Sight contestant Domenica Calarco’s OnlyFans photos were shared among the cast without her consent.

Professor Henry said posting intimate images on a website did not necessarily equate to giving consent for them to be shared elsewhere.

Ms Cook said she struggled to understand the motive behind taking and sharing the photo, but believed those involved may gain some sense of power.

She now felt empowered sharing her story and advocating for other women who had similar experiences.

‘I am sharing my experience because I know there are women and girls out there who have experienced this same violation and like me feel overwhelmed by hurt and the burden of societal stigma,’ she wrote. 

‘I want them to know we share a bond and can draw on each other for strength.’

NSW Police said: ‘Distributing images, particularly of an intimate nature, to others without permission can have a serious impact upon a person’s health and mental wellbeing, and may lead to criminal action.

‘Images of this nature can be distributed and viewed with increasing ease and can go viral in minutes, with long-term damaging consequences for victims.

‘Even in a public setting, the privacy of others should be respected and if someone feels unsafe due to the actions of others, they should report it to police.’