How Bob Carr’s late wife Helena was his ‘best friend’ and ‘biggest supporter’ throughout his political life – and the endearing nickname her family gave him when they first met
Bob Carr often referred to his late wife Helena as his “best friend and biggest supporter” during his decades in politics and, more importantly, in their private lives.
The couple had no children but were each other’s rocks from the day they met in 1971, followed by marriage in 1973 and by a racial slur against her by a Liberal MP in 2005.
Mr Carr, NSW’s longest-serving Labor premier, announced on Saturday that Helena, 77, had lost consciousness after falling into his arms on Thursday evening while they were on holiday in Vienna, Austria.
Helena had suffered a brain aneurysm and was officially declared dead by doctors after the incident.
When Malaysian native Helena brought Mr Carr home to meet her family for the first time, her brother Ivan whispered to her in Chinese: “I see you brought home a kangaroo.”
Bob Carr (left) often called his wife Helena (right), who suffered a fatal aneurysm, his “best friend and biggest supporter”
The couple’s deep and abiding love for each other is evident right down to the last photo of them – a selfie – taken in Vienna, hours before Ms Carr’s aneurysm.
Carr was not only Premier of NSW from 1995 to 2005, but also fulfilled a lifelong ambition by serving as Australia’s Foreign Minister from 2012 to 2013.
Although Helena stayed out of the political spotlight, saying she “kept a very safe distance from the center of attention,” she was always there for her husband, especially as they strolled down the corridor of Federal Parliament on the day he resigned .
The only time Ms Carr came to the public’s attention was in 2005, when then-NSW Liberal leader John Brogden referred to her as a mail-order bride at a media event.
“I just shook it off,” Ms. Carr said at the time. “My story was very cheerful, apart from that comment from John Brogden, so let’s not dwell on it.”
Her husband was less forgiving and rejected Mr Brogden’s apology.
“Brogden has no character, Brogden is a featherweight mediocrity who should be voted out of the leadership of his party this week,” Carr said.
“How can we accept an apology for a comment that dismisses all of Helena’s achievements in this country and her validity as a person and categorizes her as a mail order bride?
“What kind of people would we be if we endorsed that apology,” he said.
Then-Prime Minister John Howard castigated his fellow Liberal Brogden at the time, saying: ‘Those kinds of comments were just completely wrong.
‘I know Helena Carr and she is a very friendly person and comments like that should never have been made.’
Helena met her husband in Tahiti in 1972, while the couple married a year later (pictured together in 2013)
Then-NSW Premier Morris Iemma, who replaced Mr Carr, said Mr Brogden’s “racist comments” made him unfit for office.
Mr Iemma said Mrs Carr was “a woman who served this state alongside Bob Carr for almost twenty years and someone who has been a substantial businesswoman in her own right, developing her own identity and being a great success story for this country.”
“At a time when we are teaching our children respect and understanding, the Deputy Prime Minister is making such disgusting and inappropriate comments.”
On Saturday, Mr Carr revealed that Helena lost consciousness in his arms on Thursday evening due to a brain aneurysm and that doctors had told him she is officially dead.
‘She was the light of my life, the little friend who was always there. No one ever smiled more, or with more spirit.
‘It is inconceivable that I could have won office for my party and held the premiership for over a decade without the steadfastness of her camaraderie, her sense of fun and her lame eyes.
‘On Thursday we walked through Vienna in autumn weather, had lunch with two Australian friends, walked some more and went to the opera.
‘She was full of enthusiasm and jokes as we walked back to our hotel. Within 20 minutes she referred to strange back pain, then headache and nausea.
‘Our 50-year partnership ended in the hotel bathroom when she collapsed in my arms and I broke her fall to the floor. Her eyes closed for the last time as I begged her not to leave me.
‘As a girl in Taiping, Malaysia, she had written letters to Australian schools and was accepted into Our Lady of Mercy College, Parramatta. She later studied economics at the University of Sydney.
‘At OLMC and Sancta Sophia College she showed an enormous talent for making friends. Every holiday was a visit to farming families who adored this sparkling beautiful girl from Malaysia.
Mr Carr said his wife had fallen into his arms in the bathroom of a hotel in Vienna where they were staying when she lost consciousness (pictured together in 2019)
Bob Carr’s wife Helena (pictured in 2021) has suffered a brain aneurysm and has been declared ‘officially dead’ by doctors
“I met Helena on a trip back from the United States during a stopover in Tahiti in early 1971. She was an experienced businesswoman,” Mr. Carr wrote.
His wife became an expert in security printing and later became half-owner and manager of a printing company specializing in high-quality commercial work.
‘The light has disappeared from my life. I know many have faced this challenge: the loss of a life partner, the journey no one wishes for.
“One reason to try is my feeling that she is there telling me to keep going – for her,” he said.