How to avoid being ‘brokefished’: Millionaire money expert LISA JOHNSON reveals five steps to make sure you’re not subsidising your less wealthy friends

I’m Lisa Johnson, a global business strategist who runs That Strategy Co, helping ambitious people create passive and semi-passive income streams.

I’m the Sunday Times bestselling author of Making Money Online and a 46-year-old mother of twins who went from £35,000 in debt to £16 million in just six years – and I teach others how to.

But I’ve only been financially successful for the past eight years. Before that, I had a lot of different jobs, some paying better than others, but none offered me the kind of lifestyle I’ve created for myself since starting my own business.

I grew up in public housing and was the child who couldn’t afford uniforms and school meals, so I know all too well what it’s like to benefit from financial help from others.

That is why I find it particularly difficult to deal with today’s topic. If you’ve never heard of it, “brokefishing” is a fairly new term coined to describe when someone pretends to be poorer or more financially struggling than they really are.

Interestingly enough, people can engage in brakfishing for a variety of reasons, some of which are quite surprising.

It can range from simply seeking sympathy, to something as nasty as manipulating others for personal gain.

For an example that differs from the initial perception we have about brakfishing, think of online dating. A person might say he has less money than he does, not to avoid paying, but to appear more relatable or to avoid attracting people who are only interested in him because of his money.

However, the examples I have come across in recent years are of a different type.

I’ve always enjoyed helping others, I think that comes from not having much growing up, and I love being in a position where I can get the drinks or make lunch pay.

I’ve had fun “paying it forward” on numerous occasions, and these instances are rarely the result of a question. It could be a comment I overheard, or reading between the lines of what someone wrote.

But there’s a fine line between helping a friend through hard times and being taken advantage of.

I’ve never really thought about what would happen if I started making more money than most of my friends, but as my income has grown, there are certain things I’ve noticed.

Most importantly, my real friends all knew me before my success. They are not interested in how much I have earned or where my handbag comes from.

Not long ago I would have said I have dozens of good friends. Now I have less than ten, but the trust and support within these friendships is on another level, and that’s what matters.

And I think that’s the crux of the whole problem here. Your true friends will never try to take advantage of your financial success, and they give far more than can be measured financially.

However, I can’t lie and say it all went smoothly. People I thought I could trust have come and gone. Less-than-subtle approaches to financial aid have been used on numerous occasions.

Like I said, I love helping others, but to hear a story about eviction if the rent isn’t paid, and then see the social media updates from the sunbed in Spain is really hard to swallow .

Or the time I gave £2,000 to cover a rental deposit, which I spent the next day on a proudly displayed designer handbag.

Here are my top tips to avoid breaking down.

1. Set boundaries

Friends, coworkers, family members, or business associates should never make you feel like you have to take care of their living expenses.

No matter how close you are to this person, it is important to set boundaries.

2. Understand the why

In the same way that people hurt, we are often a product of our environment and experiences, so it may be that the financial hardships they experienced are still affecting their money mindset now.

Or it could be that they think you, or others around them, simply have more disposable income. Interestingly enough, most real estate agents are not struggling financially.

3. Don’t be afraid to talk

In Britain we really struggle to talk about money, so be careful with your words, but fully understanding the situation and the reasons for someone’s behavior can be a real eye-opener.

4. Don’t bid right away

I would like to warn this one: be careful and don’t rush.

I know it’s easier said than done, but make sure you don’t fall for a broken bait.

Please note that no is a complete sentence and if after consideration and thought you are not comfortable, you do not have to explain why you are not paying.

4. Think about the bigger picture

Word gets around and reimbursing someone else’s expenses can be taken as a sign that you are a people pleaser and can easily lead to others taking advantage of you.

5. Money is not always the answer

What other ways can you help? What are the reasons behind the approach for you? It could very well be a cry for help, a sign of a situation that does not necessarily benefit from money.

See if you can get more details. I had one case where the real reason was depression resulting in a perceived need for over-the-counter type stimulants.

I could help, but not in the way that would have been most obvious at first.

Lisa Johnson is a global business strategist who runs That Strategy Co, helping ambitious people create passive and semi-passive income streams.