A leading dating expert has revealed the mathematically correct way to find out when you’ve found ‘the one’ – and it’s all about learning how to set a benchmark.
Hinge’s director of Relationship Sciences Logan Uryfrom California, is familiar with the fate of doubts and the worry that you have already lost the love of your life.
“If you’re dating, how do you know if you’ve found the right person?” she asked.
“You may not want to commit too early in your dating journey because you don’t know who is out there — but if you wait too long and spend years trying to do research, the pool of potential partners will shrink.”
Luckily, Logan revealed the mathematically correct way to know when to stop and commit to someone.
Logan Ury, director of relationship science at Hinge, California, knows the fate of doubts and worrying that you’ve already lost the love of your life.
The relationship expert came up with a metaphor of hiring someone as your personal assistant.
‘Imagine hiring a secretary: you have a hundred candidates, all of whom you have to assess one by one. After each person you have to say yes or no. You cannot go back to a previous candidate.
‘When are you hiring? If you hire too early, you won’t know what’s out there. If you hire too late, all the great people may have already died.”
Logan said that according to statistics you first have to interview 37 percent of the people and find out who the best person from the pool is.
‘That is now your reference person; the next time you find someone you like just as much or more, hire him or her,” she said.
And the same went for dating.
“If you’re already dating a lot of people, think about who your reference person is. The next time you find someone you like just as much or more, commit to them and don’t worry about who else is there.”
Thousands thanked Logan for sharing her wisdom.
“My best friend is my reference person,” said one. ‘Easy as. It has helped me enormously in figuring out my expectations in a romantic relationship.’
‘It’s so true that ‘you can’t go back to the last’ – always further. I appreciate the call to focus on past successes and focus on qualities rather than tying those qualities solely to that person,” another added.
But not everyone agreed with the relationship expert’s theory.
‘All this actually assumes that you actually have a choice. Most people don’t get past the first date. Who is this mythical person who has so many people wanting to date him that it’s hard for them to choose?’ someone asked angrily.
One man wrote, “This would be great advice if there wasn’t a male loneliness epidemic and I could really use it.”