NEW YORK — The holidays are supposed to be a joyful time, but they can also be financially stressful. With gifts, social gatherings, and plane tickets home, the costs can pile up.
Household spending continues to rise and many Americans are expressing concern about their financial future, according to a poll from The Associated Press-NORC Center for Public Affairs Research.
“Financial concerns are the biggest problem (before the holidays),” says Dr. Petros Levounis, president of the American Psychiatric Association.
Here are expert recommendations to reduce financial stress during the holidays:
In many families, the holidays mean going all out with gift giving. But this can quickly become stressful if your finances make it difficult to keep up.
According to Sarah Foster, analyst at Bankrate.com, managing expectations is key.
“During the holidays, we often tend to avoid talking about money or letting people know how much the gift we bought for them costs,” says Foster, who recommends putting aside taboos and talking about how much you can give this year. .
Setting a budget can help prevent stress during the holidays, Levounis said.
“Try not to spend beyond your means. Make a budget and stick to it. Being with friends is more meaningful for our mental health than the commercial aspects of this season,” he said.
But during the holidays, when it seems like everyone is spending so much money on gifts, not spending any money is easier said than done. If you struggle with overspending, Trae Bodge, a shopping expert, recommends setting a spending limit for yourself.
Bodge recommends making a gift list and sticking to it when you're shopping. If you tend to spend a lot of money on buying gifts for yourself, she recommends setting a specific limit.
“If you say, 'I only have $50 or $100, you're going to spend more consciously,'” she said.
There are several alternatives to spending a lot of money. They contain:
– Homemade gifts
Lena Liu, 30, a fellow doctor from Massachusetts, has chosen to give homemade bracelets to some of her friends in the past.
“It can be very well thought out and ultimately it is not that expensive,” says Liu. “They know you put your work and energy into designing the bracelet and sourcing the beads, so they really appreciate that.”
– Gift cards
Gift cards can seem impersonal, but Foster claims they're a good way to stay within your budget because you can plan exactly how much you'll spend on each card.
– Experiences
Bodge has noticed in recent years that young people prefer to give each other experiences rather than gifts. But she advised that you don't spend too much money on an expensive trip, but rather find affordable fun activities to do with your loved ones.
Examples of this are skating, walking or organizing a potluck. You can also gift a photo shoot, framed photos or digital albums to commemorate happy experiences.
“It's something that you and your loved ones can experience together and enjoy, and take pictures and enjoy,” Bodge said.
– The gift of time
If you can't afford to take your parents on a trip or visit them during the holidays, giving them more time can be a real gift, says Levounis.
Whether you schedule weekly video calls with your group of friends or call your grandma every day, non-monetary gifts can make a big difference.
Expectations or traditions you grew up with, such as buying expensive gifts for every member of your extended family, can cause stress during the holidays. This is what Bodge calls “keeping up with the Joneses,” which refers to trying to keep up with other people's expectations rather than what is realistic to spend.
“Sometimes you may have a family member who is very well off financially and who likes to treat you to big, extravagant things. If you are not in the same financial position, you should not feel obligated to give back,” Bodge said.
Creating your own new traditions can help reduce the stress associated with overspending because you feel pressured. Bodge recommends that you suggest something different to your family, friends, or at work.
Additionally, the holidays can be a difficult time for people who are grieving or have a challenging relationship with their family. It's always good to remember to be extra kind and understanding during this time, Levounis said.
Bodge also recommends that you reduce costs by being selective with your spending. For example, when it comes to hosting, even having a small group of people can be very expensive if you are expected to pay for everything. If you find yourself in this situation, you can suggest that everyone bring a dish.
“Maybe try a potluck or, if you want to have control over the dinner menu, let people bring appetizers and drinks or dessert,” she said.
If you are having financial problems, it can help to talk about it with your family and friends.
Liu, who was diagnosed with anxiety and depression during her first year as a physician assistant, now feels more comfortable talking to her family after keeping her struggles to herself for six months.
“I am of Chinese descent and in our culture it is very stigmatized to even talk about mental health,” Liu said.
Her parents and twin sister helped her through the difficult time, and her father said he struggled with showing emotions growing up and wants her generation to be more open.
Tis the season for social events happening every weekend, but if they're causing you too much financial stress or taking a toll on your mental health, it's okay to be selective.
Additionally, if you start to feel uncomfortable with certain conversations with your family, Levounis recommends taking a break and limiting your alcohol consumption.
Although your stress may stem from financial problems, negative feelings can spill over into other aspects of your life, making it difficult to enjoy the holidays.
Levounis recommends taking some time away from social gatherings and holiday shopping to do something for yourself, like exercise.
“Long-term, low-intensity activities seem to be the most useful,” said Levounis, who suggested long walks or bike rides in nature.
Getting enough sleep is also crucial. It can be a good habit to turn off your electronics a few hours before going to bed.
If you are experiencing mental health problems, there are several resources you can use to find professional help.
In the US, you can call 211 to speak with a mental health professional confidentially and for free.
Other mental health resources include:
Veterans Crisis Line: Call 1-800-273-TALK (8255)
Crisis text line: Text the word “Home” to 741-741
The Trevor Lifeline for LGBTQ Youth: 1-866-488-7386
The Trans Lifeline: 1-877-565-8860
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A version of this story was moved in December 2022. This story has been updated with new details and quotes.
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The Associated Press receives support from the Charles Schwab Foundation for educational and explanatory reporting to improve financial literacy. The independent foundation is separate from Charles Schwab and Co. Inc. The AP is solely responsible for its journalism.