Healthy young mum Tamsin Fielder loses baby at 39 weeks

A mother spoke about the anguish she and her husband endured after giving birth to their stillborn daughter a week early.

Tamsin Fielder, 28, and her partner Bryce Fielder, 30, were excited to become parents and doctors deemed the pregnancy “low risk”.

“I’m young, healthy, don’t smoke, followed advice and never slept on my back. I did everything right,” Tamsin, from the Central Coast, told FEMAIL.

But on February 16, 2021, things took a turn for the worse when Tamsin noticed that her baby girl, whom they named Elke, was barely moving.

“My mother, who is a GP, took me to the hospital and we thought everything was fine, but my world quickly came crashing down when the doctors couldn’t find the baby’s heartbeat,” she said.

‘We were heartbroken. You have all these hopes and dreams and visions of what your life with your baby will be like and we were so close to having it all before it was taken away from us.’

On February 16, 2021, things took a turn for the worse when Tamsin noticed that her baby, Elke, was barely moving. “My mother, who is a GP, took me to the hospital and we thought everything was fine, but my world quickly fell apart when the doctors couldn’t find the baby’s heartbeat,” she told FEMAIL.

Despite testing and an autopsy, doctors were unable to determine the cause of stillbirth, but found the placenta to be “small.”

“It was a complete shock and like an out of body experience. I had heard of stillbirth before, as my parents were doctors, but I never knew it could happen to me,” Tamsin said.

Rather than perform a C-section at the time, doctors sent Tamsin home for three grueling days on medication, returning for a natural birth on February 19.

“My husband and I spent the next few days surrounded by our family, unable to leave the house for fear of questions about when the baby was due or how old it was,” she said.

“It was a really challenging time because everything was ready: the diapers, the nursery, the car seat, the hospital bag, we were ready to welcome him into the world.

“We spend our days researching stillbirth and what to expect with our dead daughter. I read stories on The Stillbirth Foundation website, many of which encouraged you to make as many memories as possible in the short time we had with our baby.’

The couple not only needed to accept the fate of their unborn child, but they also needed to start planning for the funeral.

Tamsin was sent home with medication for three days and then returned to the hospital on February 19 and was induced before going into a rapid natural labor at 7 p.m. The couple and their families spent two full days with little Elke.

On Friday, the couple returned to the hospital where Tamsin was induced and had a ‘quick’ natural delivery at 7pm.

“The hospital provided us with a folding crib, which is a refrigerated crib to help preserve her body and give us two days with her. We had the Heartfelt volunteer organization come and take pictures of us with our daughter,” Tamsin said.

“It was absolutely heartbreaking to know that you have two days to make as many memories as possible.”

The grieving mother took medication to prevent her milk from developing, but it still came out, leaving her in pain.

‘All the little things like milk were really hard to take. I had all the postpartum emotions, but I didn’t have a baby,” she said.

“Bryce and I saw a psychologist who was very helpful and we each had different ways of grieving. I would talk to the family about it while Bryce kept more to himself.”

Tamsin described the experience as “isolating” because she did not personally know anyone who had also had a stillbirth.

‘I managed to meet a group of moms online who had also lost little girls within a few months of each other. And now we talk almost every day, ”she said.

‘We were heartbroken; You have all these hopes and dreams and visions of what your life with your baby will be like and we were so close to having it all before it was taken away from us,” Tamsin said.

Despite the ordeal, the couple kept trying for a baby while dealing with the pain of losing Elke. Seven months ago, Tamsin gave birth to her young son, Easton (pictured).

Despite the ordeal, the couple kept trying for a baby while dealing with the pain of losing Elke.

“We knew we wanted a baby and I got pregnant pretty quickly, but we couldn’t get as excited as last time. There was an element of fear and anxiety there,” Tamsin said.

“We had done everything right last time and now we know what can happen.”

They were also ‘mindful’ to post baby news publicly.

“You just don’t know what other people are going through, and I know for me seeing baby announcements on social media was a huge trigger,” she said.

Fortunately, the second pregnancy went smoothly and Tamsin gave birth to a little boy, Easton, who is now seven months old.

They also had private health insurance to ensure they did not return to the same hospital due to memories of stillbirth associated with the building.

“Every year we still celebrate and remember Elke’s life,” Tamsin said.

On Saturday morning, Bryce will take part in a 50km marathon to raise money for The Stillbirth Foundation Australia. So far he has raised $3,300 with a goal of $5,000.

“He completed a half marathon last year and he plays soccer, but he’s not really a runner, even though it’s all for a good cause,” Tamsin said with a laugh.

If you want to donate, Click here.

For 24/7 support for miscarriage, stillbirth and newborn death, call SANDS on 1300 072 637.