Some say life begins at 30, but for Hayden Panettiere, the milestone was a chance for the actress to regain her self-esteem after sliding into opioid and alcohol dependence during her twenties.
The American star, now 33, has started a new chapter through the 12-step program, overcoming an alcohol addiction that began when she worked on the American hit drama Nashville in 2012.
Arguably worse, Pannettiere had turned to highly addictive painkillers after giving birth to daughter Kaya in 2014 — her only child with former partner Wladimir Klitschko — after suffering the potentially debilitating symptoms of postpartum depression.
“I was told by so many people in my life how to be and how to live,” she told the May edition of Women’s Health UK of the catalyst for her alcohol abuse, which began when she moved from her native Los Angeles to Tennessee.
“I wanted certain decisions to be mine, and no one could stop me.
What I put into my body was like an act of defiance.
”
Opening: Hayden Panettiere has reflected on her alcohol and opioid use in a new interview with Women’s Health UK
Moving on: The American star, now 33, has started a new chapter after a successful stint in residential rehabilitation
Let’s Talk: “I’ve been told by so many people in my life how to be and how to live,” she said of the catalyst for her alcohol abuse
Pannettiere, who is also the latest Women’s Health cover star, added, “Some people work out. I wish that was my coping mechanism. Alcohol may make you feel better at the time, but it makes you feel so much worse the next day, and then you do it all over again.”
The actress turned to the bottle to help deal with postpartum depression, and she described the experience as marked by feelings of “extreme hopelessness.”
Her depressed mood was exacerbated by the recurring effects of a previous neck injury that also led her to use opioids.
“I was in a lot of pain,” she recalls. “My tolerance got so high so fast it became a problem.”
Speaking openly about that time in her life, the mother of one child admitted: ‘I should have been on antidepressants [to cope with the postpartum depression]but you have to find the right one that works for you.’
“They don’t mix well with alcohol and I wasn’t ready to stop drinking.”
Painful: Panettiere turned to the bottle to help deal with postpartum depression and she described the experience as marked by feelings of “extreme hopelessness”
Crutch: The depression was exacerbated by recurring effects of a previous neck injury that also caused her to use opioids
Read all about it: The full interview with Hayden Panettiere is available in the May issue of Women’s Health UK, on sale April 18, also available as a digital edition
When she entered rehab in 2015, she said it was her idea: “I was the one who put myself in the first treatment center. I was drowning.’
When she turned 30, the familiar name found herself on another 12-step program, where participants are encouraged to embrace a life of complete abstinence from all mind-altering substances, including alcohol.
“My body was like ‘enough,'” she explained. “I hit 30. My face was swollen. I had jaundice. My eyes were yellow. I had to see a liver specialist. I was holding on to weight that normally wasn’t there. My hair was thin and falling out in clumps.’
Eight months of working on herself paid off and she was finally ready to go back to work after a four-year hiatus.
“A big part of my therapy is living in forgiveness,” she noted. ‘One step in the 12-step program is making amends. If someone wants to be a good person and be the best version of themselves, they can choose to do that.’
Eight months of working on herself paid off and she was finally ready to go back to work after a four-year hiatus.
Old times: Panettiere starred in Nashville (pictured), but she says her troubles started when she moved from Los Angeles to Tennessee while filming the show
Struggle: The actress looks worse on a night out in Los Angeles in 2018
But Panettiere’s return to the screen was overshadowed by the death of 28-year-old brother Jansen in New York City on Feb. 19.
The actor died of aortic valve complications due to an enlarged heart, but despite her grief, the actress remained committed to recovery.
“A big part of my therapy is living in forgiveness,” she noted. ‘One step in the 12-step program is making amends.
“If someone wants to be a good person and be the best version of themselves, they can choose to do that.”
Read the full interview with Hayden Panettiere in the May issue of Women’s Health UK, on sale April 18, also available in a digital edition.