A therapist has listed seven reasons why you should reconsider your relationship with your partner, even if you have doubts and notice (minor) warning signs.
Jeff Guenther, from Portland, USA, is a licensed professional counselor with a master’s degree in marriage and family therapy.
The professional regularly shares advice with fans after working for years in crisis care and in his own practice.
He said that while it is common to have doubts in any relationship – especially long-term ones – leaving should not be the first option, and that there are several aspects of a relationship that are worth fighting for.
“There are reasons to stay, such as good communication or being good friends among romance,” he said in one video.
Jeff Guenther, from Portland, USA, is a licensed professional counselor with a master’s degree in marriage and family therapy
1) You have good jokes
It’s often difficult for people to find someone they can playfully tease and who has the same sense of humor.
“Good banter is hard to find – if you can make fun of each other, laugh and be cute – that’s an important bond to maintain,” Guenther said.
2) There is growth potential
People make mistakes in relationships, and if they really regret them, you may not want to pull the plug so quickly.
“If there is room for growth and you are challenged to grow in a positive and healthy way, you should stay,” the professional said.
‘You can help each other become a better partner and person.’
3) You feel comfortable within yourself
“When you feel safe enough to be your authentic self, that’s rare,” he said.
“A relationship where you can be real is liberating and can be hard to come by.”
4) If you are good friends under romance
The therapist revealed that being friends was an essential aspect of dating, and that giving up on a relationship could also lead to severing that bond.
“One of the most important parts of a partnership is a solid friendship,” he said. ‘It creates a strong and sustainable foundation.’
5) You put a lot of energy and resources into the relationship
Although staying on can sometimes be a case of the sunk cost fallacy, your past efforts should still be given reasonable consideration.
“Ending a relationship you’ve invested in is important,” the therapist said. “Think of the real work and effort that went into it.”
6) You have solid communication
Being able to communicate well with someone is a skill that not many people possess.
“The ability to communicate in a healthy, straightforward way is not easy, so if you have that you have a better chance of working things out,” Mr. Guenther said.
7) You want to have a long-term relationship
“Feeling meh and having doubts every now and then is normal with a long-term commitment,” the professional said. ‘No one is 100 percent happy all the time.’
If you’re feeling down, consider setting specific goals to brighten up your relationship.
Many thanked Jeff for the advice and shared their thoughts.
‘Are you bored or are you safe? Are they boring or have you dropped your hobbies? Spurs are normal, just accept them and keep loving a good person,” one person said.
“You always say what I need to hear at the right time,” wrote another.
“Thanks, I’ve never heard a message like that before. You always hear why you have to let go,” said one woman.
The advice is not recommended for people who feel unsafe in any way.