Has your partner kissed someone else at their Christmas work party? I’m a divorce lawyer and here’s 4 ways to handle festive infidelity (and it doesn’t have to spell a split)

The annual office Christmas party is a notorious hotspot for infidelity. With the combination of a festive atmosphere, a relaxed atmosphere and free-flowing drinks, boundaries can become blurred.

Social interactions during these events shift to a more informal and less guarded tone, leading to situations where individuals may be tempted to engage in behaviors they would not normally consider.

Colleagues, who spend much of the year in a professional environment, find themselves in a more relaxed social atmosphere, creating opportunities for unexpected connections – and instances of infidelity.

FEMAIL spoke to Britain's top divorce lawyer, Ayesha Vardag, who shared her expert advice on how to cope if you've been cheated on – or cheated on – at a festive work party.

She emphasized the importance of maintaining clear communication and boundaries, even in seemingly jovial settings, to ensure that festive cheer does not lead to complications within relationships.

1. If you're worried they're cheating, talk about it

“As the legend goes, it's not always the outcome you're worried about that's the concern. It's the care itself,” Ms. Vargag explained.

She continued: “Any anxiety surrounding you or your partner's fidelity could be a sign of problems in the relationship that are much bigger than a mulled wine-fueled mistake under the mistletoe.

“As a divorce attorney, I've seen my fair share of affair-related divorces, and I know that worry truly is the thief of joy.

“If your partner gives you valid reasons to suspect that he or she is or would like to be unfaithful, there is no point in filling your time with painful, imagined scenarios about it.

“There's no comfort to be found in counting down the days until their Christmas party is over, and even less comfort in over-analyzing suspicious signals once it's over.

“You have no control over your partner's actions. It is an impossible task that becomes even more impossible when alcohol is involved and decision-making skills are impaired. Communication, ideally before the event, is the only thing that really cuts the mustard.

'Maybe, without you knowing it, they share your fears – or maybe there's a more important conversation to be had. Whatever it is, only by talking will you get to the heart of the problem – so start talking!'

2. DECIDE HOW TO ABOUT CHEATING

Ms Vargag said: 'We are still conditioned to think that things are completely and absolutely morally reprehensible.

“But we have the opportunity to throw away these anachronistic assumptions and determine our own feelings about monogamy.

“Polyamory isn't everyone's cup of tea – and it doesn't have to be – but that doesn't mean it has to lead to criticism, judgment, contempt, or divorce. If both parties are happy, it can give a marriage the longevity of an eternity.

“So if you're worried about infidelity this holiday season, I encourage you to take a step back and think about how you're really feeling.

'Do you experience fear, jealousy or shame because the idea of ​​an extramarital romance between offices simply haunts you – or do you allow yourself to subscribe to the idea that it is completely unacceptable?

“Same goes for your opinions on business versus drunken, one-off mistakes. We all have different thresholds for pain, and, to the same extent, different thresholds for what we consider “cheating.”

'You should know that your reaction to a drunken kiss or a heated affair in the workplace is entirely personal. It can take seconds to judge someone for that, but sometimes it can take a lifetime to forgive.

“However, that doesn't mean this has to cause a messy, chaotic upheaval of your marriage, children, home, financial and family security.”

3. FLIRTING WITH COLLEAGUES DOES NOT MEAN IT WILL RESULT IN AN AFFAIR

“The fact that you're worried about the thought of you or your partner cheating at the office party may simply be due to the drunk-kiss-with-a-co-worker cliché we've all heard of,” Ms. Vargag said .

'An age-old film trope – we love to hate the late Alan Rickman in Love Actually – it's not entirely unusual to be wary of something so broadly portrayed and 'joked' about.

“After all, being the betrayed – or the traitor – is not an event one would welcome, and there are not many among us who can deny a drunken misstep in our time. Unfortunately, it is also a weakness of the human condition to be jealous sometimes.

'Workplaces are known for their innocent flirtation and playful banter between breaks. After all, it's how we connect.

“The friendships and partnerships we forge through these playful exchanges are – when kept professional and consensual – an essential lifeline when it comes to teamwork and collaboration. It allows us to be open, vulnerable and approachable so that we can help others and ask for help in return.

'The office Christmas party may be an outlet for this testy banter that goes on until the early hours, but that's usually where it stops. After all, flirting does not have to be amorous or 'continued'.'

4. ACCEPT THAT OFFICE ROMANCES ARE AN INEVITABLE PART OF LIFE

The divorce lawyer said: 'Office romances are commonplace – and this fact is not surprising.

'Most of us spend a significant part of our adult lives in the workplace. This equates to much of our time being spent with our coworkers and away from our spouses.

“We share a common ground with our colleagues that our other halves will never be able to understand or identify with.

'Neither work – nor life – promises excitement every second; it is up to us to obtain it where we can,” Ms. Vargag explained.

'Work and professionalism should always come first – it is the workplace after all – but that shouldn't stop us from enjoying the company of those who work alongside us.'