Grace Tame reveals the worst advice to give trauma victims ahead of book release

Former Australian of the Year Grace Tame revealed that the worst advice anyone can give a trauma victim is to “get over it,” while dealing with the backlash she’s received as an advocate.

Tame said the phrase is the most “culturally ignorant” she’s heard since she began her work as an advocate for sexual abuse survivors after being sexually groomed herself as a teenager.

“It’s the nature of child care and sexual abuse that as you get older and grow, so does the trauma,” she told The Project’s Carrie Bickmore on Monday.

“It doesn’t matter how tall you are physically or how tough or smart you are, once you’re traumatized, your neural pathways are permanently altered.

‘It’s not a force of logic, it’s a force of nature.

“Of all the culturally ignorant statements I’ve heard in my time as an advocate, ‘get over it’ is probably the worst, if only because it’s scientifically impossible.”

In her book, The Ninth Life of a Diamond Miner, Tame recounts how she was cared for and molested at age 15 by her 58-year-old teacher, Nicholas Bester, and how she struggled to cope with the trauma in the wake of the abuse.

Tame was a student at St Michael’s Collegiate School, an Anglican girls’ school in Hobart, when she was abused by Bester.

In 2011, the math teacher was sentenced to two years and 10 months in prison after pleading guilty to “maintaining a relationship with a young person under 17” and possessing child exploitation material.

Bester spent a year and nine months in prison and further complained that his conviction had cost him “everything,” including his reputation in the community.

In her all-encompassing interview on Monday, Tame addressed threats allegedly made by Bester via Twitter, detailing a “revenge plan” that coincides with the release of her book on Tuesday.

The ominous tweets include Tame’s childhood email address that she used to create a Facebook account to talk to Bester while she was being cared for.

Tame revealed that she couldn’t get help from the police to stop the threat attack because they can’t officially prove that Bester is behind the account.

However, she said she is determined that the tweets will not ruin the launch of her book.

“It’s hard, but I really want to focus on the positive things and I don’t want to keep talking about that,” Tame said.