Grace Tame memoir: Activist opens up about being raped by her teacher in new book

Grace Tame shared the horrific comments to her after she revealed that she had been raped by her high school teacher.

The 27-year-old revealed the shocking details of the sexual abuse she has suffered, her battle with an eating disorder and her journey since then in her book The Ninth Life of a Diamond Miner: A Memoir, released Tuesday.

She revealed that a school employee said she also had “boy problems” during high school, right after Tame revealed that she had been raped by her math teacher Nicholas Bester on the floor of his office.

Tame, a former Australian of the Year for her work advocacy for survivors of sexual assault, also addressed the moments that made headlines across Australia, such as her refusal to smile in photos with then Prime Minister Scott Morrison.

Tame’s book, The Ninth Life of a Diamond Miner: A Memoir, was released Tuesday

Much of Tame’s memoir revolves around the shocking and repeated abuse Bester endured when she was 15.

Bester was a 58-year-old teacher at St Michael’s Collegiate School, an Anglican girls’ school in Hobart, when he nursed and abused Tame.

In 2011, the math teacher was sentenced to two years and 10 months in prison after pleading guilty to “maintaining a relationship with a young person under 17” and possessing child exploitation material.

Bester spent a year and nine months in prison and further complained that his conviction had cost him “everything,” including his reputation in the community.

Bester even boasted about the abuse on Facebook, writing that men “envied him” and that it was “wonderful.”

Tame told her teacher about a previous sexual assault she had experienced when an older child told a then six-year-old Tame to undress in a closet before harassing her.

“I also had boy problems in high school,” the (teacher) told a then 16-year-old me in April 2011, just after telling her outside her office while we waited for the police to arrive,” Tame wrote. in her memoirs.

“I just can’t believe you had sex” was another great line I would hear later that day as I revealed as much as I could for the second time ever.

‘I just can’t believe you had sex,’ they kept telling me as I sat there hysterically, still in my damn school uniform.’

Her abuser, a father of two, had even violated her in the Catholic Church where he had been invited back to play the organ after his release from prison.

The 27-year-old opened up about the horrific sexual abuse she endured at the hands of her high school teacher Nicolaas Bester

Tame is seen with her fiancé Max Heerey who is often seen by her side at events

Her memoir gave a raw and unfiltered look at the abuse, including when her abuser told her he wanted to take her virginity because he “couldn’t bear the thought” that someone else “would have his way with me in the back of a car.” truck’ somewhere’.

“As if that was worse than an old gray carpet, in my school uniform,” Tame added.

Bester would tell Tame to pose as his daughter if the couple were seen together outside of school hours.

Tame was regularly assaulted in four locations, including Bester’s school office, a chair in the teacher’s lounge of a teacher he hated, a home he cared for, and a hotel.

She confronted her tormentor in his office in April 2011 after reporting the abuse.

“I told him I hope he died and that I hated him for what he did to me, my family and his,” Tame said.

“I had scars on my arms from self-harm during the abuse.

“He shrugged and said coolly, ‘Well if that’s what you think of me.’

She also bravely detailed the moment she lost her virginity to her rapist, with Tame still wearing her school uniform from the track and field carnival earlier that day, in August 2010.

She revealed the physical pain of the ordeal and his sickening words to her afterwards: “I didn’t think we’d get this far.”

Some of the abuse took place in his office, under a bookshelf where a statue of Jesus stood.

Tame made headlines in January this year when she refused to smile alongside Mr Morrison and his wife Jenny in photos during morning tea for the Australian of the Year Awards in Canberra

Tame made headlines in January this year when she refused to smile next to Morrison and his wife Jenny in photos during morning tea for the Australian of the Year Awards in Canberra.

Images of stony-faced Tame and her partner Max Heerey circulated, but those expecting an apology from Tame couldn’t hold their breath.

“The man showed his true nature long before I frowned at him,” she said.

“And being responsible and loyal to your cause and friends isn’t about being liked. It’s not fucking about being polite.’

She said she deliberately frowned on Mr Morrison because, in her opinion, he “has done and helped objectively terrible things.”

“Whatever your politics, the damage done under his administration was some of the worst in our nation’s history, including but not limited to survivors of domestic and sexual violence,” she added.

“If I’d smiled at him, pretended everything was okay, I’d be a huge liar.”

Tame also wrote about suffering from an eating disorder and was hospitalized twice while being cared for.

She later learned that Bester had tried to visit her while she was in the hospital, posing as her uncle, but only her parents were allowed in.

Tame is seen with her partner Max Heerey. She described in her book how her abuser Nicolaas Bester had groomed her to make herself feel like she was in love with him.

Bester had cared for her so much that at age 15 she wondered if she was in love with a man three times her age.

He had acted out the abuse she endured at age six, forcing her to undress in a closet while standing naked on the other side.

She revealed that the shocking abuse led her to question whether she was a “psychopath” like him.

Tame is featured at the National Press Club in February, where she appeared with Brittany Higgins

“I blamed myself for everything that happened,” Tame said.

“I’ve banged my head on plaster walls and hardwood floors in hopes of driving myself out to the point of blacking out.”

The abuse led to her self-injury, with Tame carving the F-word into her thigh, with the scar still remaining despite five laser treatments.

After being raped in a hotel room, Bester asked Tame, “You didn’t like that, did you?” only to tell her not to worry about them doing it again, and she was assaulted a second time.

“I thought I loved him,” Tame said.

Her book also discussed her previous marriage to American actor Spencer Breslin, and her relationship with her fiancé, Mr Heerey, who is constantly seen by her side.

Tame hopes her memoir will help others who have seen similar horrors.

“If nothing else, if this book is a blueprint for one person who will help them in some way, whatever that may be, then my job here is done,” she said.

“Evil thrives in silence. Inside each of us is a powerful story that can be a catalyst for the change we need.’

Grace Tame’s The Ninth Life of a Diamond Miner: A Memoir is available now for a retail price of $49.99.

Tame is seen delivering a powerful speech as she was crowned Australian of the Year 2021