‘Gender ideology has torn our family apart’: Montana family who lost custody of their 14-year-old daughter after refusing to let her transition to a boy reveals their torment

A Montana father and mother who lost custody of their daughter after refusing to change her gender have told DailyMail.com that the ordeal has “torn their family apart.”

Krista Kolstad revealed that the family’s nightmare began when they received a call that their 14-year-old daughter Jennifer was telling friends at school in August 2023 that she wanted to kill herself.

Later that evening, Child Protective Services (CPS) went to Kolstad’s home in Glasgow to inspect the home and interview Jennifer, later determining that she needed to transition to get better.

Krista, Jennifer’s stepmother, and the girl’s biological father, Todd Kolstad, say Jennifer had a difficult upbringing and had several undiagnosed mental health issues, including attention-seeking behavior and lying, which they say caused the urge to transition and were overlooked. by social services.

Krista told DailyMail.com: ‘It was horrible… Our family will never be the same. Even if they give our daughter back to us now, you won’t have the same family unit… it has created a lot of animosity towards us from Jennifer, she doesn’t believe she should listen to us as her parents anymore.”

Mr. Kolstad said, “I love my daughter unconditionally and only want her to refrain from making any decisions until she has the maturity and life experience to understand the consequences for her actions.

Jennifer with her stepmother Krista (left) before any social transition took place. Jennifer (right) after medical staff allowed her to undergo social transition, against her parents’ wishes

It comes as an Indiana family has asked the U.S. Supreme Court to review their lost custody case. Jeremy and Mary Cox, evangelical Christians, lost custody of their son in June 2021 after refusing to allow him to identify as a girl for religious reasons.

California mother Abigail Martinez has filed a document supporting Mr. and Mrs. Cox. Ms. Martinez lost custody in 2016 of her teenage daughter Yaeli, who was given testosterone and later died by suicide.

The Kolstads said Jennifer had a traumatizing upbringing. Her birth mother ran away when she was young and was only around sporadically.

Statements from Jennifer and her sister’s counselor revealed that the girls described their birth mother as uncaring, abusive and “crazy.”

Jennifer is also repeatedly bullied at school. Mr. and Mrs. Kolstad even moved districts to try to give their daughter a fresh start at a new school.

“She’s always wanted to be the super pretty, super popular girl, and who doesn’t want that?” Krista said. “But she’s always been the crazy, smart kid in the math club.”

When Children and Family Services arrived at the family home, the family allowed the caseworker to inspect their home and speak to their daughter alone, but warned her that she had a history of making up stories.

During the interview, Jennifer claimed to have drunk toilet bowl cleaner and overdosed on painkillers in a suicide attempt.

Her parents said this seemed highly unlikely because Mrs. Kolstad had been working from home all day, Jennifer did not have access to either drug, and had not expressed any symptoms of illness.

Despite their misgivings, Mr. and Mrs. Kolstad agreed to take Jennifer to the local hospital for a check-up.

Jennifer pictured with parents Todd and Krista Kolstad

Blood tests confirmed that Jennifer had not consumed any toxins.

But medical notes stated that Jennifer identified as male and wanted to be called Leo.

“Our daughter started demanding to be called Leo, he and he. We explained that this is in her history, but not something we as her parents would agree to. The hospital staff ignored our request,” Mr. Kolstad said.

Jennifer had first expressed her desire to change gender to her parents at the age of thirteen.

Her parents told her she was too young to make such a decision and sent her to counseling to explore why she felt that way.

Ms Kolstad said: ‘It wasn’t new, but she hadn’t talked about it in a year. She never came to us and said, “You have to call me that, you have to call me that.” That was never a problem.’

Mr. and Mrs. Kolstad informed hospital staff of their objections and asked that Jennifer be called by her birth name.

‘The hospital continued to call our daughter Leo even though she was a minor and after I stated that this was against our wishes, our religion and our core family values.

“The hospital told me to call their lawyer if I have a problem because they will do what the patient says,” Ms. Kolstad said.

While the medical transition of minors is banned in Montana, Ms. Kolstad said the hospital told her that “social transition” was a “gray area of ​​the law.”

Jennifer was placed under 24-hour surveillance due to her suicide threats, but Ms. Kolstad said an assistant was stationed outside her door who regularly spoke to Jennifer about top surgery and that she was non-binary.

Together with CPS, Mr. and Mrs. Kolstad agreed that Jennifer would benefit from specialized inpatient treatment and counseling at a psychiatric hospital.

There were six facilities in Montana, as well as one in Wyoming. Mr. and Mrs. Kolstad expressed concern about Wyoming because the state allows minors to receive gender-affirming care, such as hormone blockers and surgical procedures.

They were afraid this would happen without their consent.

But just hours later, Mr. and Mrs. Kolstad were told that a bed was available at the Wyoming Behavioral Institute and that Jennifer had to leave immediately.

They said they reiterated their concerns and said they had questions that needed to be answered before they agreed.

Ten minutes later, CPS showed up at Kolstad’s home, along with police and paperwork, who removed their daughter from their care, stating that they were refusing treatment.

While Jennifer was in Wyoming, she was given men’s hygiene products such as body wash and deodorant.

After a month at the Wyoming facility, Jennifer was transferred to a Youth Dynamics group home in Montana, where she has remained ever since.

Here, in addition to men’s clothing, Jennifer is also allowed to wear a coffin band, shave her head and go to all-boys groups.

Jennifer also wanted to use birth control to stop her menstrual cycle, which Mr. and Mrs. Kolstad said they were not okay with.

They were told that Jennifer had to ‘stand up for herself’ and so an appointment was made with a doctor. Ms Kolstad told DailyMail.com that she has still not been informed of the outcome of the appointment.

The Kolstads were assigned a public defender, who advised them to “play nice” and comply with the CPS’s recommendations.

“We have been following their advice over the past few months and now our rights are being completely taken away,” Ms. Kolstad said.

Jeremy and Mary Cox, from Indiana, also lost custody of their daughter

On Jan. 19, the couple lost custody of their daughter to CPS, which said it is “in her therapeutic best interests” to allow Jennifer to be transgender and that her parents are “not following recommended therapy.”

CPS was awarded custody of Jennifer for six months. After that, the plan is to place Jennifer in the care of her birth mother, who now lives in Canada but has never really been a part of her life.

Mr. and Mrs. Kolstad have chosen to ignore the judge’s order to remain silent about the case.

They were scheduled to appear in court yesterday to answer charges of contempt of court and to hear the proposed treatment plan for Jennifer, but the hearing was postponed because Ms. Kolstad’s very ill father needed care in Ohio.

CPS in Glasgow, Montana, told DailyMail.com it had no comment.

Meanwhile, Mr. and Mrs. Cox’s son was removed from their home after the Indiana Department of Child Services alerted a district court judge that the teen was in physical and emotional danger.

According to court records, their son had developed an eating disorder and was at risk of self-harm.

A district judge ordered him placed in a foster home that supported the teen’s chosen gender identity, and banned the Coxes from talking about their faith with their teens during visits.

The Indiana Court of Appeals conceded that a disagreement between parents and children does not usually warrant removal of a child, but said this was an “extreme case.”

Their son is now an adult and cannot be forced to return home, but the Coxes say they fear their other children will suffer the same fate.