Gay Matildas star Emily Gielnik has revealed the heartbreaking reason why she remained closeted for years in a decision she says led to “a lot of dark times.”
The 30-year-old, who represented the Matildas 57 times, has been with her fiancé Temica Sayer for eight years.
But heartbreakingly, for much of that time, she didn’t feel comfortable telling the world about it.
Gielnik is currently making her trade to Aston Villa in the UK Women’s Super League and the mighty striker has dominated the top leagues around the world in the US, Australia, Sweden, Germany, Canada, Norway and Japan.
But despite being confident about how well her professional life was going, Gielnik revealed that there were many “dark times” in her personal life as, given her upbringing in the family, she didn’t feel comfortable coming out.
Gay Matildas star Emily Gielnik (left, pictured with fiancé Temica Sayer) revealed she remained closeted for a long time due to her upbringing in the family
Gielnik, pictured playing for the Matildas against Portugal last year, has represented Australia more than 50 times and will be crucial at the World Cup
Gielnik (left) has been with Sayer for eight years, though she insisted some of them hid the relationship
“My mom is Croatian… being gay was frowned upon, so I never saw how I was going to come out and tell my family,” she said in the Disney+ documentary, Matildas: The world at our feet.
“So I’ve tried everything to live with this lie for years. There were many dark times.’
Harmful stereotypes and homophobic abuse still make many female footballers a tough decision, but thankfully those involved in the sport themselves are the opposite of trolling online.
And Gielnik said she didn’t know what she would have done without it.
“To be honest, if I hadn’t had football I don’t really know what other outlet I would have had,” she said.
“Football was the salvation.
“The Matildas is a support system where everyone is equal and open, and I finally realized that you love who you love.”
And she’s head over heels in love with Sayer – with the documentary capturing the heartwarming moment that changed her life forever.
Gielnik (right) proposed to Sayer ahead of a Matildas camp last year, and she was a bundle of nerves for the heartwarming moment
Cameras captured the moment that changed Gielnik’s life forever: prostitution against Sayer (spoiler alert – she said yes!)
Matildas players celebrate with Gielnik (number 15) after she scored a goal in 2019. She said the support of those in the Matildas system was valuable as she stayed in the closer
When the Matildas were due to go to camp ahead of two friendlies against Canada in August and September last year, Gielnik flew in from the UK a day early to propose to Sayer.
But she was definitely packing.
Gielnik called good buddy and colleague Matilda Ellie Carpenter to tell her she’d pop the question, and her nervous energy was so great she exclaimed “that was good to get off my chest,” despite it being one of the finest moments of her life.
‘I think I’ve made the flight from Australia to Europe 40-45 times. This was one of the rougher ones. There were no sleeping pills that could alleviate what happened on that flight. I was overthinking quite a few things,” she said.
“I’m nervous thinking about it (the proposal), I’m sweating (but) I’m ready to marry the girl of my dreams.”
Thanks to those nerves, the proposal didn’t exactly go according to plan, with Gielnik telling teammates that the carefully thought-out speech she had come up with for the special occasion was left on the cutting room floor.
“I went blank, I literally froze. I left everything I was going to say in the hotel room,” she laughed, discussing the proposal with Matildas teammates, which thankfully worked out!
Gielnik, who will be vying for a hard-fought spot on the Matildas squad for the home World Cup starting in July, said it was Sayer’s love that helped her be comfortable enough to live the life she needed.
She said it wasn’t fair of her to ask her to keep their relationship hidden for so long, but remains grateful that she stayed anyway.
Gielnik played for Aston Villa in the Women’s Super League earlier this season
“It was really Temica that helped me break down and finally be okay in a same-sex relationship,” Gielnik said.
“It wasn’t fair to her, for how many years, that I wasn’t open about our relationship — and she’s always stood by me.
“She deserves this (proposal) more than anyone. It should have been a long time ago, but better late than never.’
Gielnik remains in the UK to finish the season with fifth-placed Aston Villa.
The Matildas will play France against France on July 14 in Melbourne in a World Cup pre-World Cup friendly, with their first match against Ireland on July 20.