A young Australian transgender woman and aspiring musician and model has shared her amazing comeback story.
Monique Parker, 27, survived a house fire that killed her mother and brother in 1997, followed by a long recovery from third-degree burns, before progressing to drug addiction, abusive relationships, sexual abuse, crime, prison, homelessness and mental health issues. before turning her life around.
“I’ve been burned, almost blown up and stabbed, I’ve been arrested over 25 times, I’ve been chased, beaten, robbed and raped,” Ms Parker told Daily Mail Australia.
None of them, however, were her nadir; who lived in an ‘ice den’ in Narellan in south west Sydney at the age of 17.
“I was addicted to ice cream and never looked or felt worse in my entire life. I’d take just about anything from you if you weren’t looking, I was violent and angry.’
While modeling with conventional ideas of beauty in mind, she also describes herself as “an anti-model” – an emerging form of modeling practiced by people who challenge ideas about having the perfect body.
At the age of 19, Monique Parker was Jessie, drug addicted and deeply angry at the world. Eight years later, she is ‘1000 percent happier and healthier’
Now 10 years on, Ms Parker lives a much more peaceful life in Sydney’s LGBTQI-friendly inner west with her long-term girlfriend and has been drug-free for six years.
“South West Sydney is not the easiest place to live for people from the LGBTQI community,” she said.
Under the moniker Monni.P, she now writes and releases electronic music and has started a career as an online model through the OnlyFans platform.
In her spare time she also studies ethics, philosophy and human rights and cooks at home every night.
“It’s a softer life to cook a meal from scratch every night instead of getting into a fight,” Ms Parker said.
“Now my life has been moved in many different ways. I make friends I’m not afraid of and I don’t have to worry about cops on every corner now.
“I can focus on the things I should have been worried about when I was that 12-year-old felon, like education, relationships, friendships, and self-care.
“My depression has become much more manageable with a more relaxed life and I’m 1,000 percent happier and healthier.”
Ms. Parker is telling her story now because she wants people to know that no matter how bad things get, they can always improve.
Her main advice is to slowly solve problems one at a time, find solutions and find a supportive community that will support you.
“I was in the darkest place a person can be in several times in my life, but you can always make it better.
“It comes down to the problem you have. What can you do about it?’
For her drug addiction, that meant indulging in a year-long rehab at William Booth House in Sydney.
Then-little Monique (Jessie) was pronounced dead of smoke inhalation and had to wear a burn suit for two years (pictured Jessie Clarke in hospital after the fire)
More than twenty years later, Monique Parker finds it easy to forgive herself for the chaotic crime life that followed.
“If I hadn’t stopped all the crazy things I was doing, like drugs and crime, I don’t think I could have enjoyed life anyway.” she said.
From there, the decision that changed everything was the beginning of the journey of becoming a woman.
Between the ages of 25 and 27, she has let go of her former self, the deeply unhappy Jessie Clarke, and embraced the much calmer Monique Parker.
“It was both one of the most terrifying things and one of the most satisfying things I’ve ever done. It gave me the opportunity to put my whole ego aside and start living a real life,” Ms Parker said.
The physical changes are remarkable and obvious. She attributes them to taking estrogen and progesterone.
‘It should speed up the results. It’s a bit expensive though.’
Unlike some trans people, she is not offended by the use of her pre-menopausal name.
“I like the name Jessie, but I’ve always liked the name Monique, and I took my mom’s last name to honor her.”
Donna Ann Parker was killed in the 1997 house fire that burned down the family home in Kirrawee in southern Sydney. Monique’s older brother Jay was killed in the process.
And as if Ms. Parker’s comeback story isn’t remarkable enough, she also shares that then-two-year-old Jessie was pronounced dead of smoke inhalation on the lawn of the family home.
Of the cause, she only knows that it was ‘a gas fire’.
After the trauma of the fire came the trauma of recovery, which required wearing a fire-resistant suit for two years.
‘Thirty percent of my face is covered with a large scar, 50 percent of my legs have scars. I also have scars on my left hand and a large spot on my chest and stomach.’
A family member told Daily Mail Australia that little Jessie’s diaper prevented her from getting burns ‘to the genitals’.
“But school was rough with half the skin on my face and legs missing,” she said.
Under the moniker Monni.P she now writes and releases electronic music, has started a career as an online model through the OnlyFans platform and studies ethics and philosophy part-time
At age 12, and with low self-esteem, Mrs. Parker had fallen in with the wrong crowd.
The powerful combination of body shame, peer pressure, and substance abuse started a dangerous spiral that she says is now getting worse by the year.
She started smoking cigarettes at age 12, quickly followed by marijuana, and then drank with a group engaged in shoplifting and vandalism.
“When I was 15 I was taking ecstasy, acid and magic mushrooms and committing petty crimes like stealing valuables from cars and construction sites,” she said.
At the age of 16, she was raped in a bathroom cubicle after experimenting with her sexuality in online chat rooms.
By the age of 17, she was addicted to ice cream and diagnosed with severe depression, anxiety, and complex PTSD.
Under the ice cloud, her solution was to do sex work.
At the age of 18, she was convicted of aggravated burglary, robbery, distribution of a banned drug and stealing a car.
As the lawsuits dragged on for a year, she was arrested again for drug possession and bail violations about 20 times.
Monique Parker, a young Australian transgender woman and aspiring musician and model, says transitioning and giving up drugs and crime has made her life ‘1,000 percent happier’
“When I was 19 I was finally sent to prison after being intercepted by the police on the way to sell some weed.”
She was on her way to her probation and parole appointments at the same time.
On her way to Silverwater Prison in a transport van, she was beaten up by a former drug dealer and her shoes were stolen.
A sympathetic magistrate granted her bail before final sentencing and she was allowed to enter rehab.
She came out as bisexual in rehab after an argument with a staff member who confronted her about her early attempts at drug use and treatment.
After spending a year in rehab, she managed to stay clean, but fell back into abusive relationships and homelessness.
Ms. Parker says the motivation to make her transition work prevented her from falling back on the bad decisions that marked her teenage years.
She got her first job in years, rented an apartment and started not only modeling but also “anti-modelling”.
While she models with conventional ideas of beauty in mind, she also describes herself as “an anti-model” – an emerging form of modeling practiced by people who challenge ideas about having the perfect body.
And while she’s proud of her feminine looks, she’s just as proud of her scars – which have defined so much of her life.
“Through both anti-modeling and modeling, I will show my scars to let people know they can be beautiful.”
“Through both anti-modeling and modeling, I will show my scars to let people know they can be beautiful.”
In May 2022 she met her current partner Erika.
After nine months in the most stable relationship of her adult life, Ms. Parker felt ready to tell her story.
She is well aware that she is navigating the changing gender at a time when there is a very public backlash against transgender rights.
“There seems to be so much negative media coverage about transgender people. It feels like every day I log in and someone’s been killed just because they’re trans.
“If I can spread any positivity, I will. I like to use who I was to show that everyone can be a better person.
“Ultimately, it doesn’t matter what your gender is, being a better person is about your lifestyle, the people you hang out with, and the things you do every day.”
“I believe I was oppressed by a criminal lifestyle.
“The world is a much happier, safer place now, believe me, I was an absolute maggot.
“But I don’t find it hard to forgive myself now.”